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He wasn't pointing out the reality of any situation to her. These are things he has done through the duration of their marriage (these are HIS words). I don't know how anyone could condone that kind of treatment of a spouse. In my opinion it's just as bad as her cheating. I've laughed + smiled almost every time she cried or was upset.
I've accused her of faking emotions I didn't understand.
I've not taken her seriously when she was upset.
I've skipped many of her birthdays/holidays.
I've greatly ignored her to pursue my hobbies/interests.
I've quickly become annoyed when I didn't find value in things she wanted us to do.
I've ignored her family, and fussed when we had to deal with them.
I've (unintentionally) appeared extremely cold to people she's tried to befriend.
I didn't understand she put value in sentimental stuff, and openly criticized them.
I didn't notice I had a blunted affect and seemed uninterested in her attempts to do something nice for me.
I've said numerous "insensitive" remarks without realizing it, then wondered why she was upset.
I've flat out told her I get absolutely no value in talking to her family, friends etc.
I agree with you, and she should have left him a long time ago. And he needs to leave her NOW, yet they are still together.
EWWWWWWWWW......I would have left a long time ago after reading this who could blame her for seeking warmth in another individual..
I'm not too sure, I think they're planning to hang out again.
After I met him, they went out and spent the whole day together. That was last week though..
I think theres a new guy she's going to see soon (we work opposite days, so she dates etc while I'm out of the house, as do I if I do anything). She's currently out getting her hair done..
Frankly, it's good to see her not so depressed and actually hopeful.
No suicidal comments or any negative statements, so I'm happy.
Why was it not ok that she was sleeping with another guy 2 months ago when she had already asked for a divorce, but now that she is bringing strangers with criminal records into your home, you are thrilled and happy for her?
Was your marriage really so meaningless that you have no qualms about another man sleeping in your bed?
I am actually surprised that you have never even questioned the paternity of her pregnancy. Do you actually believe she was 100% faithful to you prior to one night 2 months ago when you happened to catch her? Wow. You really do believe everything people tell you, don't you. I think Gormless Sociopath is going to be my new band name.
Why was it not ok that she was sleeping with another guy 2 months ago when she had already asked for a divorce, but now that she is bringing strangers with criminal records into your home, you are thrilled and happy for her?
Was your marriage really so meaningless that you have no qualms about another man sleeping in your bed?
I am actually surprised that you have never even questioned the paternity of her pregnancy. Do you actually believe she was 100% faithful to you prior to one night 2 months ago when you happened to catch her? Wow. You really do believe everything people tell you, don't you. I think Gormless Sociopath is going to be my new band name.
Drop the lost pregnancy not being mine accusation. It WAS mine, there's nothing to doubt, and you're the only one harping on it being somebody else's...
For some reason you seem to be taking my posts personal, I think it's probably better if you step away from replying to me, and spend some time cooling down...
Why was it not ok that she was sleeping with another guy 2 months ago when she had already asked for a divorce, but now that she is bringing strangers with criminal records into your home, you are thrilled and happy for her?
Was your marriage really so meaningless that you have no qualms about another man sleeping in your bed?
I am actually surprised that you have never even questioned the paternity of her pregnancy. Do you actually believe she was 100% faithful to you prior to one night 2 months ago when you happened to catch her? Wow. You really do believe everything people tell you, don't you. I think Gormless Sociopath is going to be my new band name.
Buddy, you and I will never get it. This guy has an Aperger syndrom, its a mild form of autism, he is fully functional but being close to a person with Aspergers you will start to believe that you are dealing with a cold blooded psycopath. Asperger syndrom sufferers do not feel, express or understand feelings that "normal" people have. It's not just a typical "laughing in the funeral" effect, this affliction affects all interpersonal relations and prevents forming any real bonds with anybody.
The lady on the other hand acted like a real drama queen so I supect that she probably thought in her desperation that she will "force" him to feel, either through making him jealous or trying to commit suicide. Women do it all the time. It's kind of emotional terrorism that works on most people. Of course in this case she failed. She couldn't force him to feel anything as he is not capable of feeling anything. He can get angry but that's pretty much it.
First I didn't notice the Asperger reference but now when I have, this situation is much, much clearer. I think the OP should put his thread in a psyhology forum, there are thousands of people with Asperger around us, some of them, and their families, are in self-help groups. The sooner the OP realizes that he needs help, the better. Otherwise he will fail in every romantic and non-romantic relationship.
Any women who would try a relationship with a guy with Asperger has to understand what is she dealing with and what to expect, otherwise they will become either suicidal or cynical. It probably feels like being narried to a brick.
In short, in my eyes this is more a mental health situation than anything else.
To the OP: I wasn't trying to be offensive or condescending, you have a real-life condition that negatively affects your life.
There is nothing funny about it.
For everyone keeping a hawks eye view on all my posts - this happened around two months ago. I just have the night off tonight, am drinking a beer, and sort of am feeling a bit ashamed...wandering if it's appropriate or not..
Anyway, there were two men involved in this -
A. The guy she slept with (a crush from high school).
B. Her internet friend from the state we moved away from.
So - while she was out cheating on me with the other man - was it completely wrong of me to update her facebook status to something like "Currently cheating on my husband.."
- and then when I found out internet friend knew of (and encouraged) her to do it - was it wrong for me to (I don't even think you can do it) tell him I was going to name him in the divorce papers (for emotional affair, sending her sexual material, etc)..?
I also wrote on the other mans facebook about cheating with another guys wife, how if those were his standards he may as well have her...
She ended up deleting her facebook account when she returned (after about 20 friends commented on it..), and internet friend refuses to talk to her, tells me he's "sorry" and regrets what he's done...
Should I feel ashamed of my behavior?
I have no desire to "fight" this guy, as that's idiotic, proves nothing, and unlike him - I actually have licenses and a career on the line, to which an assault charge would completely interfere with..
What she did was unconscionable. I am not defending her actions. But have you ever considered that you may have driven her away, with the way you become aggressively vengeful when you have been wronged? You say you have a career and licenses on the line...what use would your career and licenses be to you if you became known as the nutcase professional whatever in your town or community? I don't know what kind of professional you are, but if it's medical or financial, news of your escapades on FB could scare away business and potential clients and patients.
She may be starting a blog about your behavior even as you wrote this post.
I dunno, the OP seems rather even-tempered (and I dare say, normal in emotion) in his written communication here. Perhaps he could have had better results if he communicated his feelings with his wife through email while they were having problems. I know it sounds crazy but I have heard of couples doing that when things get too heated when they are face-to-face.
I dunno, the OP seems rather even-tempered (and I dare say, normal in emotion) in his written communication here. Perhaps he could have had better results if he communicated his feelings with his wife through email while they were having problems. I know it sounds crazy but I have heard of couples doing that when things get too heated when they are face-to-face.
It makes sence as text has less emotional load then speech but in the same time it could be tricky as you can assign any emotion value you chose even to most innocent words. Written words can be easily misconstrued.
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