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About a year and a half ago, my wife of 7 yrs was on the computer upstairs and I was watching t.v downstairs. When I went upstairs to talk to her about something, she looked a bit red faced and looked to be clicking to close the page abruptly. I happened to look on the table and could not believe it when I saw a mobile phone I have never seen before in my house, before I got a chance to look at it my wife picked it up and ran to the bathroom next door and locked herself in! I was in shock, and by the time I had realised what was going on
The phone was wiped clean.
She said she had this male friend, and she knew I would be suspicious as she has no male friends, and didn't want me to look through the phone get his number and hassle him ( something I would not do in any case ). She also refused to tell me who he was and said she would tell me who he was when she could trust me! (clearly she had no intention of telling me who he was, only going so far as to say he was just a regular friend )
This behaviour continued a couple more times, the screen being closed on the laptop as I came into the room, and her looking a bit embarrassed etc
I questioned her and she said nothing was wrong, so I had to find out what the deal was.
To cut a long story short I found on her phone a dirty message from him to her one that she had not managed to delete after reading in time, this shocked me to the core, I confronted her and she admitted to dirty messaging with him, but maintained she was only leading him on and boosting her self- esteem and enjoying the attention. After more talking she said casually to me she was going to sleep with him but didn't ?....
Another shocking statement from her that was supposed to be of some comfort !!!!!
It was going on for aound 3-4 months and she said IT had nothing to do with me. She said she met through work and started of as friends and then he tried his luck with her (dirty messaging) and this is where she admits to being at fault by not telling him to get lost but instead continuing their 'friendship', she tells me she just wanted him as a friend because he was funny etc but she said she ignored the dirty messages.
One of the messages I saw from him was asking her to book them a room !!
He said in it he was falling for her and needed her kiss and touch.
Seem's to me he must have had it before then, to be needing it
I asked her what he meant by NEEDING her kiss and touch and she said she didn't know and I should ask him
She said after some talks, he was really good ????
She had lost respect for me and wasn't happy at the time, and thought our marriage was over !!
All news to me
I messaged him to back off or else, and he said he would, so far as I know he must have done.
My main question apart from his message about needing her kiss and touch is since she admitted 'cheating' but without physical contact with him, I have noticed how she touches me differently. I.e strokes my face in a way she had never done before this business and does a couple of new things in bed, she didn't do before. I hope she is not re-enacting what might have happened between them, if they have had sex.
the thing that bothers me the most is she has NO remorse and said it was not his fault.
I appear to have been the only one who has suffered and regard myself as the innocent party, i have had therapy, she refuses to come. I have tried to forget but then she touches me differently and it all comes back, and if i bring it up she has the atitude of saying ' not this again ' !!! she has had NO intention of ever leaving me at any time during these difficult times, I want us to stay together as I love her, but the thought of her having sex with him and never ever admitting it, if it did happen, I don't know if I can live with that.
I forgot to mention around the time IT was going on, whatever IT really was, in bed I noticed some bruising on her thigh, it looked exactly like four fingers has squeezed her leg hard causing four bruises in a row. She explained she must have done this on her bike, funny but it has not happened ever before and not again since this business.
About a year and a half ago, my wife of 7 yrs was on the computer upstairs and I was watching t.v downstairs. When I went upstairs to talk to her about something, she looked a bit red faced and looked to be clicking to close the page abruptly. I happened to look on the table and could not believe it when I saw a mobile phone I have never seen before in my house, before I got a chance to look at it my wife picked it up and ran to the bathroom next door and locked herself in! I was in shock, and by the time I had realised what was going on
The phone was wiped clean.
She said she had this male friend, and she knew I would be suspicious as she has no male friends, and didn't want me to look through the phone get his number and hassle him ( something I would not do in any case ). She also refused to tell me who he was and said she would tell me who he was when she could trust me! (clearly she had no intention of telling me who he was, only going so far as to say he was just a regular friend )
This behaviour continued a couple more times, the screen being closed on the laptop as I came into the room, and her looking a bit embarrassed etc
I questioned her and she said nothing was wrong, so I had to find out what the deal was.
To cut a long story short I found on her phone a dirty message from him to her one that she had not managed to delete after reading in time, this shocked me to the core, I confronted her and she admitted to dirty messaging with him, but maintained she was only leading him on and boosting her self- esteem and enjoying the attention. After more talking she said casually to me she was going to sleep with him but didn't ?....
Another shocking statement from her that was supposed to be of some comfort !!!!!
It was going on for aound 3-4 months and she said IT had nothing to do with me. She said she met through work and started of as friends and then he tried his luck with her (dirty messaging) and this is where she admits to being at fault by not telling him to get lost but instead continuing their 'friendship', she tells me she just wanted him as a friend because he was funny etc but she said she ignored the dirty messages.
One of the messages I saw from him was asking her to book them a room !!
He said in it he was falling for her and needed her kiss and touch.
Seem's to me he must have had it before then, to be needing it
I asked her what he meant by NEEDING her kiss and touch and she said she didn't know and I should ask him
She said after some talks, he was really good ????
She had lost respect for me and wasn't happy at the time, and thought our marriage was over !!
All news to me
I messaged him to back off or else, and he said he would, so far as I know he must have done.
My main question apart from his message about needing her kiss and touch is since she admitted 'cheating' but without physical contact with him, I have noticed how she touches me differently. I.e strokes my face in a way she had never done before this business and does a couple of new things in bed, she didn't do before. I hope she is not re-enacting what might have happened between them, if they have had sex.
the thing that bothers me the most is she has NO remorse and said it was not his fault.
I appear to have been the only one who has suffered and regard myself as the innocent party, i have had therapy, she refuses to come. I have tried to forget but then she touches me differently and it all comes back, and if i bring it up she has the atitude of saying ' not this again ' !!! she has had NO intention of ever leaving me at any time during these difficult times, I want us to stay together as I love her, but the thought of her having sex with him and never ever admitting it, if it did happen, I don't know if I can live with that.
She may never admit it to you. Honestly, if she said "yes I slept with him" would you be able to move past that? And if she says "no I didn't sleep with him" could you trust that answer? Would it eat at you knowing that you would never know for sure?
You need to decide how you want to procede with your marriage with the knowledge that you may never get a straight answer. The fact that little details keep spilling out tells me that you haven't yet heard the whole truth and that you probably won't. She loses her patience with you when you ask for more information, she hasn't been forthcoming with information and she doesn't seem to want to work on the marriage.
She shows no remorse and she refuses to go to counseling. It doesn't sound to me like she is interested in saving your marriage.
Have you asked her if she wants to work on the marriage? How has she repsonded?
Sounds like your trust has been destroyed. And not without reason, sooooo many red flags from her end.
I don't personnaly think I could recover. Problem is, you are married. But, she is unwilling to go to therapy with you? not good.
Even sometimes when people think they are busted, they will still lie "no honey I havent done that" untill the very end and beyond.
If she is lieing about all that stuff, how can you trust ANYTHING.
You will most likely be more miserable stayin in this fractured relationship, then dealin with the heart ache and eventual recovery from divorce.
I think if she was to admit to sleeping with him, i would at least be able to come to terms with it and put it behind me, but it's true when they say it eats away at you, hence the therapy. She basically is pretty dependent on me and wants to have a baby in the near future, her biological clock is running out as well.
Just never thought it would happen to me, marriage in my family is a very serious business, not taken lightly. We were dated a couple years, were engaged some 4 years, as I wanted to be sure I knew her, just goes to show, you think you know somebody and then this happens
I think if she was to admit to sleeping with him, i would at least be able to come to terms with it and put it behind me, but it's true when they say it eats away at you, hence the therapy. She basically is pretty dependent on me and wants to have a baby in the near future, her biological clock is running out as well.
Just never thought it would happen to me, marriage in my family is a very serious business, not taken lightly. We were dated a couple years, were engaged some 4 years, as I wanted to be sure I knew her, just goes to show, you think you know somebody and then this happens
Too Efing bad if her clock is ticking!!! Please, please, please USE PROTECTION with her until you decide how you want to procede!
If you eventually decide you can't be with her anymore, you will be tied to her for the rest of your life with a baby!
Why haven't you left yet? Seriously. There's no reason to continue this relationship.
I'm wondering why he hasn't confronted that home wrecker guy yet.
I wonder why people refer to it as "sleeping" when infact it is f'ing. Sleeping is what she does when she comes home to you after f'ing him.
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Also forgot to mention
