Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
So I received a dating-site email from a guy who made a point of mentioning his Christian beliefs throughout his profile and talking about God's plan for him and all that stuff. His tone in his email to me was very respectful, if a bit arrogant, but I was a bit jarred by the fact that he mentioned us becoming lovers (though circumspectly) in the first email - basically he suggested it was a future possibility. It seemed like he was getting way, way ahead of himself.
I continued to read his profile after the email and was further jarred by the fact that one of his responses to an OKC question indicated that if it were up to him, he would be having sex on the first or second date. I'm an atheist, but I was raised Catholic and have read the Bible several times over (which oddly, is part of the reason I've become an atheist). The devout religious beliefs he expresses do not seem to me like they go with the promiscuity (or hope for promiscuity) that is implied by the response to the sex question. My response is 6 or more dates before I would have sex - I'm not looking for hookups or short-term flings, really.
I recently put up some fairly nice pictures with my profile, and I strongly suspect that is why this guy messaged me. Our values, interests and life outlook appear to be diametrically opposed to each other. Yet he was very earnest in his approach to me. I think he contacted me based on a purely superficial attraction rather than actually caring what I said in my profile (and I know he read it because he cited specific elements in his email - he just seemed to be ignoring the parts that didn't mesh with his desires).
So what I'm wondering is if there's some sort of cognitive dissonance in this guy's thinking when one factors in his openness to immediate sex and his fairly evident reliance on superficial physical attraction against his repeatedly professed devotion to his faith. What do you C-D folks think?
No true Christian would behave the way he is.
I suspect he only uses the word "christian" in an attempt to lure more ladies in so they'll think he's a really nice guy
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,700 posts, read 41,748,461 times
Reputation: 41381
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kenneth-Kaunda
a little bit, yes! lol
but the 'no sex before marriage' is not necessarily a Christian requirement IMO
I kinda agree. Having sex is technically a sin but I don't think it is anymore a deal than having a beer or two on a night out or smoking a cigarette. Besides what is worse for the Christian community, having per-martial sex to satisfy burning urges or hopping into a marriage with the first warm body that agrees so you can have sex?
He's probably just putting all that on there to attract more women. Ya know, the one's who naively think that being religious automatically makes you a better person.
I did have a guy who was 79% enemy contact me on OKC a few days ago, which I thought was pretty awesome.
OMG! If you actually met, would you then be obligated to face off in a ninja-style fight to the death? LOL!
I suspect he only uses the word "christian" in an attempt to lure more ladies in so they'll think he's a really nice guy
He's a poser looking to get in your pants. NEXT!
Don't worry, LM - he never had a chance I was just curious what the crowd here thought. It was quite the interesting combo of inconsistencies and contradictions in his profile.
I kinda agree. Having sex is technically a sin but I don't think it is anymore a deal than having a beer or two on a night out or smoking a cigarette. Besides what is worse for the Christian community, having per-martial sex to satisfy burning urges or hopping into a marriage with the first warm body that agrees so you can have sex?
I would say this is true. HOWEVER, for the type of Christian who sanctimoniously says he wonders often about God's plan for him... I expect him to have more restraint than your average hedonist (and I'm not necessarily opposed to hedonists). In fact, most of the hedonists on OKC who have contacted me have been far more respectful of boundaries on our first few dates than this guy was in his first email.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,700 posts, read 41,748,461 times
Reputation: 41381
Quote:
Originally Posted by JrzDefector
I would say this is true. HOWEVER, for the type of Christian who sanctimoniously says he wonders often about God's plan for him... I expect him to have more restraint than your average hedonist (and I'm not necessarily opposed to hedonists). In fact, most of the hedonists on OKC who have contacted me have been far more respectful of boundaries on our first few dates than this guy was in his first email.
From a guy who was raised in church and still attends but doesn't consider himself a practicing Christian, those are the ones you really need to be careful about. Some are really about their faith and are normal, some are just crazy.
Welll.... I wouldn't trust him based on whats on his profile. Having done the online dating thing in the past, I have found that most people end up misrepresenting themselves a lot. Some on purpose, some just because they do not know themselves.
I don't want to turn this into a theological debate, so I will try to keep it short and say he is likely a hypocrite. Every Christian sins, and is a hypocrite to some degree and in some (or many) areas.
If you wanted to continue to communicate to him with this, I would ask him about it. Point out that he professes to be a Christian who is seeking God's plan for him, yet he promotes very early in a relationship, his preference for sinful pre-marital sex with pride, not displaying at all a repentive attitude towards this particular sin problem of his. I would find it interesting how he explains it.
Welll.... I wouldn't trust him based on whats on his profile. Having done the online dating thing in the past, I have found that most people end up misrepresenting themselves a lot. Some on purpose, some just because they do not know themselves.
I don't want to turn this into a theological debate, so I will try to keep it short and say he is likely a hypocrite. Every Christian sins, and is a hypocrite to some degree and in some (or many) areas.
If you wanted to continue to communicate to him with this, I would ask him about it. Point out that he professes to be a Christian who is seeking God's plan for him, yet he promotes very early in a relationship, his preference for sinful pre-marital sex with pride, not displaying at all a repentive attitude towards this particular sin problem of his. I would find it interesting how he explains it.
Although the entertainment value could be beyond the price of rubies, I think I'll pass on responding to him. He was unattractive, had literally nothing in common with me except that we both liked dogs, and showed signs of wanting to "bag" me immediately - the latter of which I don't think bodes well for the quality of interaction he has to offer in the bedroom or out of it.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I was just curious what the crowd here thought. It was quite the interesting combo of inconsistencies and contradictions in his profile.
