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Oddly, that's why I don't get my hair cut by my best friend's Mom anymore. Every time I went in there I was given the third degree as to who I'm seeing (nobody) when I plan on getting married (not anytime soon) and got to hear her bragging about her WONDERFUL children who are all married and starting families. Incidentally, that's also why my parents won't go to any of their parties anymore. They got sick of the guilt trips she tried putting them through because all three of her kids are married and all three of my parents kids are single. As if they're bad parents because we're not all married off yet.
I'm from a small town. You graduate, go to college or get a job, get married and have babies (and then get divorced by 25). That's not the path I took and I was quite the disgrace for it-to the point my father called me at work to very seriously ask what was so wrong with me that I couldn't attract a man when I was still single at 24 (yeah, that didn't leave scars!). My response was that perhaps he and Mom should have made me better looking. I'm the only one in my family for whom dating does not come easily. Friends, yes, Boyfriends, no.
I was thinking about this this morning when Starbucks was busier than usual and the customer count was 7 woman and 1 married man. I met my late husband in 1999 at work, in a company of about 300 people. I was about to turn 26 and both of us were actively planning to move back to our home states. So neither of us were looking. I hadn't had a date in 18 months prior to meeting him; I haven't had a date now in 2 years. But what I've come to realize is that while I would like to meet someone, I'm much happier when it isn't a focal point.
Interesting thread. I'm single but I am keeping an eye open, so I wouldn't say I was off the market. I'm sort of seeing someone, but I'm also trying to take some time for personal reflection. It's easy to get burnt out of dating.
I spent a long time off the market when I was younger. My college crush ultimately broke my heart, and after a few bad dates after that, I "gave up." I didn't want the drama or the hurt, and stopped looking, stopped dating, etc. I don't regret it. I worked harder at my studies, built up a solid career, had fun traveling and such.
During a lot of that time, I felt that I just was destined to be alone, and to be a loner. I had no confidence I could find someone, or that anyone would really be interested in me. In a way it was a depressive state, although I certainly put it into the background and got the most out of life in other areas.
My life did not turn out that way (I am now happily married) but I did remove myself from the market for years! So I can certainly relate.
Most of the Relationships threads are about having us sort out a dating or relationship conundrum for someone, and that's fine. The sub-forum serves that purpose. Some are married and in relationships that are humming along just fine. Other threads serve us with entertainment value, either through comedy and/or litigiousness.
However, some people here are NOT in relationships. Some of us are still chronologically fairly "young," but are tired of the games, the dead-ends, and the work that is required in locating a mate. That's where I'm at. I've figured out that it ain't going to happen and I, for the most part, don't care.
I spent a long time off the market when I was younger. My college crush ultimately broke my heart, and after a few bad dates after that, I "gave up." I didn't want the drama or the hurt, and stopped looking, stopped dating, etc. I don't regret it. I worked harder at my studies, built up a solid career, had fun traveling and such.
During a lot of that time, I felt that I just was destined to be alone, and to be a loner. I had no confidence I could find someone, or that anyone would really be interested in me. In a way it was a depressive state, although I certainly put it into the background and got the most out of life in other areas.
My life did not turn out that way (I am now happily married) but I did remove myself from the market for years! So I can certainly relate.
I'm happy for you right now. (As long as it is a good marriage)
My heart was broken long before a woman could break it. I kinda had to "give up." Not because I can't get a date. (I could right now) I just have so much going on right now.
Funny thing is I feel like I am going to end up with someone whether I want to or not. (Sometimes I want it, sometimes I don't)
I almost rather feel like I am destined to be alone.
Bobert whether you say you are off the market or not is not always for you to decide. When I was low and felt like crap there were still men hitting on me. It is just the way things work.
They wanted to cheer me up.
So cheer up Bobert never know what life will throw you. I again will say I am shocked every day of new good and bad events.
Bobert whether you say you are off the market or not is not always for you to decide. When I was low and felt like crap there were still men hitting on me. It is just the way things work.
They wanted to cheer me up.
So cheer up Bobert never know what life will throw you. I again will say I am shocked every day of new good and bad events.
What makes you think I'm not "cheery?" I've always been sarcastic and realistic. I just treat myself to road trips and travel. That's what I look forward to.
What makes you think I'm not "cheery?" I've always been sarcastic and realistic. I just treat myself to road trips and travel. That's what I look forward to.
Alright Bobert so you are "cheery". Lol Yes sarcastic too. Realist hmmm sometimes.
Yes I know Sag always looking for adventure. Nothing wrong with that.
But if (god forbid) something happened and I was suddenly single again, I don't know if I'd want to wade through the morass of utter crap that is out there in the dating world.
I'd probably just raise my son and focus on family and close friends and my dog.
Considering I haven't been on a date in...oh, about 15 years, I guess you could say I'm off the market. Not that I wouldn't be open to the idea, it's just that I don't make any effort at it and have no expectations of any kind. For the first couple of years after my last girlfriend, it really upset me that I couldn't seem to attract anyone. But throughout all these years, I realize that I've only met two or three women I found attractive enough that I'd actually want to date them (and none of them were available anyway). So if I ever start getting down about it, I ask myself, "Would you even want to date any of the women you see day-to-day?" And the answer is, no, probably not.
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