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I used the CEO phrase... but I did not compare husband's to CEO's. I would appreciate if you read all of the posts vs pulling out "sound bites" and forming an opinion on them. That's a sign of a bad Co-Leader... not understanding the facts and making decisions on bad information,.
I did not say a man should be the leader unless it is deserved. And I listed what those characteristics were. None of those characteristics included him being a man.
Back to your concept of Co-Leaders... It is a great ideology, but it is not practical or functional. Someone... singular, has to make the final decision. In everything. It can be discussed, compromised, negotiated or whatever. But someone has to pull the trigger or push the button.
Doesn't have to be the same person every time. The "decision maker" can vary with the situation. In my experience, the person who cares about the issue more generally takes the lead, and in situations where it comes down to a big decision, if one position is untenable to either member of the couple, it's either time for marriage counseling or the other person needs to give way.
On a big purchase that is not a necessity, if one member of the couple objects strongly, how could the other party violate their wishes in good conscience. Now maybe the objector is being unreasonable, but if that's the case, then there's something else that's wrong - the issue should be less about "submission" and more about why they're being irrational.
A child's health problem could be a major issue, but automatically ceding that power to one person could be just as much of a disaster.
I don't see at all where one person should have the "right" to pull the trigger and expect the other to just go along with their final decision, no matter how great or "worthy" a person they are.
Doesn't have to be the same person every time. The "decision maker" can vary with the situation. In my experience, the person who cares about the issue more generally takes the lead, and in situations where it comes down to a big decision, if one position is untenable to either member of the couple, it's either time for marriage counseling or the other person needs to give way.
On a big purchase that is not a necessity, if one member of the couple objects strongly, how could the other party violate their wishes in good conscience. Now maybe the objector is being unreasonable, but if that's the case, then there's something else that's wrong - the issue should be less about "submission" and more about why they're being irrational.
A child's health problem could be a major issue, but automatically ceding that power to one person could be just as much of a disaster.
I don't see at all where one person should have the "right" to pull the trigger and expect the other to just go along with their final decision, no matter how great or "worthy" a person they are.
As I have stated previously to someone else... I never said anything to the contrary to what you are saying.
Of course it can be different people at different times... that's just common sense. Do we really need to be that pety in our discussion?
i'm pretty sure a dominant woman is the right fit for me, well is the right fit for an inexperienced guy
Your problem is not lack of experience - it's lack of character. I've seen many men like you living their lives subjugated to a domineering women, psycollogically abused every day, but they enjoy it because they've never fully matured into men and all they want is a mommy who will give them tough love. Is your mom authoritarian? Do you have a dad?
I used the CEO phrase... but I did not compare husband's to CEO's. I would appreciate if you read all of the posts vs pulling out "sound bites" and forming an opinion on them. That's a sign of a bad Co-Leader... not understanding the facts and making decisions on bad information.
I did not say a man should be the leader unless it is deserved. And I listed what those characteristics were. None of those characteristics included him being a man.
Back to your concept of Co-Leaders... It is a great ideology, but it is not practical or functional. Someone... singular, has to make the final decision. In everything. It can be discussed, compromised, negotiated or whatever. But someone has to pull the trigger or push the button.
I've been with my husband for many years now and neither of us has to make the final decision on anything. We collaborate on a flat platform because we're both that intelligent and that mature. I do count my blessings.
I've been with my husband for many years now and neither of us has to make the final decision on anything. We collaborate on a flat platform because we're both that intelligent and that mature. I do count my blessings.
But one of you does make the final decision whether you are aware of it or not... there is a difference between collaboration and making a final decision.
A simple example:
You: What movie are we going to see?
Husband: I want to see movie A...
You: I rather see movie B...
Husband: I don't want to see movie B
You: what about movie C?
Husband: ok...
In your mind that's both of you making the final decision huh?
In actuality its just collaborating... And one of you made the final decision... Do you know which one?
Wow. You will literally do anything but answer the question. Amazing.
You still don't get it? Wow.
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