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Dear... If by 41, someone hasn't trusted another person enough to marry them and have kids, they will have issues or be non-quality men who haven't had the opportunity.
You will either have to accept a once-married man, help them fix their issues or date someone who is 'non-quality'.
Non quality what does that even mean? if by non quality you mean a criminal, a guy with kids and an ex or things like that, no thanks. Not interested in being the stepmom. Besides I am not interested in fixing someone's issues (whatever you mean by that). Btw I have found a guy I am interested in who is very shy so there are still guys out there.
By all means: Be alone. Just don't complain that after dating for 3 decades and not finding 'The One' has resulted in less eligible bachelors.
Always remember that in a string of bad relationships and bad times being alone, the only common thread in all those points is you. You(And by that, I mean the 'Generic' you and not you specifically, Doll Eyes) are responsible for your happiness and success in relationships.
If you aren't happy with where you are in life, change yourself.
Thanks for the pep talk I didn't ask for. I don't have a string of bad relationships, I have always been alone and guess what? Being with some low life isn't going to suddenly make life better. Maybe in your world it does, not in mine.
Exactly. I don't get this idea that women need to settle but men don't. I see some of the men my age who think they are entitled to more than they themselves are. I am always told that if I don't bend on the divorced dad rule I will be alone but I always tell them I would rather be alone than bend.
Exactly. They expect women to 'settle' for some divorced, overweight, middle aged man with kids from his ex but be damned if they would do the same thing.
It is very typical that the men have this 'just be glad a man (any man) is even interested in you...' mentality. Really? I don't know where they get off.
Exactly. They expect women to 'settle' for some divorced, overweight, middle aged man with kids from his ex but be damned if they would do the same thing.
It is very typical that the men have this 'just be glad a man (any man) is even interested in you...' mentality. Really? I don't know where they get off.
Exactly and ever notice the guys telling women to settle are no prizes yet they refuse to settle? I've even had men tell me (not here)that is is perfectly acceptable for a man not to date a woman with kids but as women we are picky. Of course then they throw in the usual "women are past their prime" and "if you don't settle you will have many cats" like either one makes sense.
May consider a man who is widowed, has adopted as a single dad or raising nieces/nephews (or other kids not his). In fact the men who adopted or raising kids not his own would probably be a plus. A widowed man it would depend on many factors like age, his deceased wife, etc. Not open to divorced dads or men who never married the mother.
As I mentioned, I would prefer someone with no kids but a widower is my exception to that. He's not a single father because he or the mother chose not to be together. I love kids and am open to adopting one with the right guy but at this stage I'd prefer not to deal with baby mama drama.
I do have to agree with Sphinx's comment about like attracting like. For the first couple of years after my husband died, I attracted quite a few guys, who like me said they wanted a relationship but in reality weren't emotionally available. Ended up with several great friends but no dates. Of course, now that I am in a place where I feel I am ready for another relationship, I appear to have become a penis repellent.
Thanks for the pep talk I didn't ask for. I don't have a string of bad relationships, I have always been alone and guess what? Being with some low life isn't going to suddenly make life better. Maybe in your world it does, not in mine.
Well, then it wasn't aimed at you. You've taken my comments as specifically aimed at you when I specifically said they weren't.
If you are happy being alone, be alone. Don't complain that there are no quality men. If you aren't happy being alone, be willing to settle for someone who is your equal. If you're overweight, expect the man you date to be overweight. If you have issues, expect that the man you date will have issues.
When I said, 'Settle', I didn't imply that you should settle for a lowlife - Just your equal. If you're suggesting that you're a lowlife, then I suppose it was my implication. It wasn't my intention, of course.
Dear... If by 41, someone hasn't trusted another person enough to marry them and have kids, they will have issues or be non-quality men who haven't had the opportunity.
You will either have to accept a once-married man, help them fix their issues or date someone who is 'non-quality'.
I'm sorry but you are very wrong about your first paragraph. My brother is a 44 yo FF who is good looking and sane (I mean he is my brother) and is not married and has no kids. The women in Miami are all retarded so it's been hard for him to find someone of quality.
I'm having the same problem meeting quality men here in Miami so we're basically dating each other
I'm sorry but you are very wrong about your first paragraph. My brother is a 44 yo FF who is good looking and sane (I mean he is my brother) and is not married and has no kids. The women in Miami are all retarded so it's been hard for him to find someone of quality.
I'm having the same problem meeting quality men here in Miami so we're basically dating each other
I understand what you're saying, but I am skeptical. Most people inside their situation think they're the exception, but:
You and your brother are basically dating now because all 4.5 million people who live in the greater Miami metropolitan area are all "basically retarded". And the problem is with all 4.5 million of them, rather than with yourselves? And that in 44 years, he neither:
A) was involved in a long term dysfunctional relationship where he refused to marry the woman due to issues and refused to break up with them due to issues;
and;
B) Managed to find fault with the 2.25 million people in the greater metropolitan area.
and;
C) Didn't move to a place that might have more sane people.
Or;
D) Didn't find anyone in this other place because they were all "basically retarded", too.
Is that roughly what you're saying?
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