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You are going to eventually have to lose it if you want a woman. Better to get it over now than later. Trust me, its not worth it to wait for someone special. You will barely remember since it will be very awkward with lots of fumbling. Get over it now so you get the experience and know what you need to work on. I couldn't imagine my virgin self losing it to a woman who is experienced that I was trying to get into a relationship. That would have been embarrassing. I got the experience and figured out what I needed to improve. Virginity is not something you should value or cherish. I was even in your position when I was a virgin because I was scared as hell of STD's. I thought I would never rawdog a girl in my life because of the risks. Eventually I realized the risks as a straight male doesn't outweigh the pleasures. That said, wrap it up.
Seriously?? You're telling the Kid that it's worth risking HIV, herpes, etc. just so he can "figure out what he needs to work on" sexually?? Womankind has news for you:
a) There is no such thing as acquiring a magical toolkit or set of moves that works on all women. Not even close. Every woman is different, meaning there's always a learning curve for the guys. b) in view of "a)", it's the woman's job to communicate what she needs, and the guy's job to listen, or ask what works for her. c) Any woman who cares about her guy doesn't care if he's a newbie or not. She may even be a newbie herself. d) The Kid seems to have healthy self-confidence and self-esteem. I bet he doesn't get embarrassed as easily as you. I would guess that most guys don't. They're too absorbed in the "proceedings" for that to cross their minds.
I can't believe this thread has generated so much controversy. People are telling the Kid that it's better to get some sexual experience, than be cautious about his health? Here's what I think the real issue on this thread is:
Some of the guys are concerned that he's dooming himself to celibacy because of his concern about STD's. Let's take a closer look at the scenario he presented.
He thought he was in a mutually loving relationship that involved a level of commitment. He was thinking LTR with this woman. She, on the other hand, didn't appear to share his level of caring and commitment, because she bailed when he asked her to take STD tests and exchange the results. Maybe she was offended that he thought she might have an STD. Or maybe she was hiding something. Or maybe she was offended that he didn't trust her. The fact remains that the underlying issue in the situation the OP has presented is that the relationship hadn't progressed far enough to sufficient mutual caring AND mutual trust. The fallout over the STD testing was just a symptom of a relationship that had some fault lines in it, it is not the core issue, imo. What we should be discussing is why the relationship fell apart so easily, and what the OP can learn from his experience for a more successful relationship in the future.
Seriously?? You're telling the Kid that it's worth risking HIV, herpes, etc. just so he can "figure out what he needs to work on" sexually?? Womankind has news for you:
That's what condoms are for. They lower the risk greatly. If he is that scared of STD's, he probably shouldn't even be having sex.
Quote:
a) There is no such thing as acquiring a magical toolkit or set of moves that works on all women. Not even close. Every woman is different, meaning there's always a learning curve for the guys.
I never said there was. But there are some things that pretty much work on most if not all women. It's not about the woman, its about the things he needs to work on. For example, he can't even be sure if he'll have ED or PE issues. Thats important to know. Next, he needs to actually look at a vagina so he has an idea where the clit and everything else is. He has to try sex because in his first try he might flop around and have a difficult time entering the vagina. Then he has to try different positions to see the feel. All that is important. that doesn't even go into how to pleasure the woman (during sex, or orally).
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b) in view of "a)", it's the woman's job to communicate what she needs, and the guy's job to listen, or ask what works for her. c) Any woman who cares about her guy doesn't care if he's a newbie or not. She may even be a newbie herself.
You are naive to think that women don't care if he is a newbie. I guarantee you quite a bit of women will be turned off when if they find out he is inexperienced.
Plus if she tells him to a certain thing, he needs some experience to learn how to do it. If she says she likes rough sex (probably at least half of all women do), he won't have the slightest clue what to do and it will be awkward having her telling him what to do. most women are attracted to men who lead in bed and tell the woman what to do, not the other way (hence women are much more attracted to dominant men in bed than submissive men).
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d) The Kid seems to have healthy self-confidence and self-esteem. I bet he doesn't get embarrassed as easily as you. I would guess that most guys don't. They're too absorbed in the "proceedings" for that to cross their minds.
Its easy to say that. But in his first time, it will be awkward so it will be kind of embarrassing especially if he finishes in 15 seconds or has a tough time getting it up. better to get that out of the way first.
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I can't believe this thread has generated so much controversy. People are telling the Kid that it's better to get some sexual experience, than be cautious about his health? Here's what I think the real issue on this thread is:
Some of the guys are concerned that he's dooming himself to celibacy because of his concern about STD's. Let's take a closer look at the scenario he presented.
He is limiting himself. There isn't a huge segment of women who are attracted to virgin men.
He is limiting himself. There isn't a huge segment of women who are attracted to virgin men.
How would they know he's a virgin? He doesn't wear a scarlet "V" on his collar.
ED *guffaw* Never new a newbie with that problem. Even so, the Kid is interested in a loving, committed relationship, I gathered from his OP. So if any problem arises, his gal would be understanding, if he's done a good job of picking her, and has read her level of commitment right. We're not talking about a guy who's into being a player, and having recreational sex, random hook-ups, and superficial relationships, where women would be more prone to be judgmental and unforgiving. Context is everything. Clearly, the OP's orientation differs radically from your own.
Half the women YOU'VE been with like rough sex. Sheez. As if you can generalize to the whole world from your own experience.
It's not about "leading", and dominant vs. submissive. It's about both parties feeling free to express themselves, and enjoy themselves. Most guys on this forum have said they love it when a woman is frisky and "leads". It's all give-and-take, enjoying the moment. This is a really old stereotype about the male "leading". Everybody just chill and have a good time, without worrying about some script. Much less "flopping around". If nature doesn't take over, the woman can help a little. I suppose you'd be mortified if you needed a little help. Maybe the easy embarrassment is the cause for the ED, ya think?
So he finishes in 15 seconds. He's young. Round 2 is coming right up. So to speak.
i take it that it's my doe eyed and innocent posting style that makes you think i'd be surprised at such a scandalous revelation
the chances of even highly experienced straight men catching HIV are incredibly small, especially if they are white
i don't believe in skewing information in order to make a point, even if it's an admirable one
HIV does not discriminate based on race or socioeconomic standing. If you are a straight white male who frequents various bars (in search of dates) in NYC, your chances of coming in contact with a woman with an STD is actually quite high.
HIV does not discriminate based on race or socioeconomic standing. If you are a straight white male who frequents various bars (in search of dates) in NYC, your chances of coming in contact with a woman with an STD is actually quite high.
Two words: Magic Johnson.
When that story hit the news, it was almost surreal.
HIV does not discriminate based on race or socioeconomic standing. If you are a straight white male who frequents various bars (in search of dates) in NYC, your chances of coming in contact with a woman with an STD is actually quite high.
And what are the odds that straight white male is going to contract HIV even if he frequents bars a lot? Barely. Even if you have unprotected sex with an effected woman, your chance of contracting HIV is 1 in 2000. Thats right, even having sex with a HIV woman unprotected is a less than 0.1% chance of contracting HIV. HIV is really the boogeyman disease.
HIV does not discriminate based on race or socioeconomic standing. If you are a straight white male who frequents various bars (in search of dates) in NYC, your chances of coming in contact with a woman with an STD is actually quite high.
congrats on equating "HIV" and "STD" in just two sentences
bonus for deleting the portion of my post that included relevant and accurate information about other STDs in your quote
Oh. Is that why thousands were (and still are) dying of it worldwide, why it has decimated the gay (and bi-) community in the US, has spread to hetero women and even the elderly, and why it's led to the creation of national and international education efforts, studies, and even a UN commission to deal with it?
Ehh, the things you can learn on this forum.
Anyway, the topic isn't just about HIV, it's about STD's in general. And about how to achieve the quality relationship the OP wants, so that a request for mutual STD testing won't cause it to fall apart.
And what are the odds that straight white male is going to contract HIV even if he frequents bars a lot? Barely. Even if you have unprotected sex with an effected woman, your chance of contracting HIV is 1 in 2000. Thats right, even having sex with a HIV woman unprotected is a less than 0.1% chance of contracting HIV. HIV is really the boogeyman disease.
I'm not being judgmental, but what sort of women would be willing to date and sleep with a man, who doesn't even value his own health? I guess like attracts like, therefore, a man with your mindset is likely to attract a woman with a similar laissez faire disposition regarding STDs.
I'd hate to be you if/when you happen to be the 1 in 2000, who actually becomes infected due to foregoing condoms and STD testing.
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As if you can generalize to the whole world from your own experience. 
