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Your one example though, I hate when people take singular experiences and apply them to the vast majority of america. Most women don't ask guys out because they don't have to, guys ask them. Most guys ask women out because they have to, women don't ask them.
And it works that way. ^^ Leave it alone. Just kidding..do whatever you want. For me, I will not do that again. Though Im sure some men dont mind, I truly believe it just works better for ME if I let the guy do the asking. Because this is just the way the sexes work. Guys are so hardwired to be the ones to do the pursuing that I truly feel if a guy is REALLY interested in a woman, he will approach her some kind of way. If he doesnt, he just may not find her all that interesting.
I feel if 10 men are in a room and dont approach a woman, maybe out of those men perhaps 2 may be too shy to ask or whatever, but the other 8 just arent all that interested in the first place. I just believe if there is enough interest there, a guy will approach. He is used to it. Everybody is used to it.
So if hes not doing it..yeah he may just be shy...but odds are he isnt interested enough to bother.
Ro2113, My exhusband, and most of my male friends agree with me. I have never had a good relationship that feel good to me with a man I pursued.
But all of the men and women you've come in contact with do not represent all men and women. I don't think it's right for the other posters to criticize you for not approaching a man anymore than anyone criticizing a man for not approaching a woman. People should do what they please but others need to stop disrespecting those that don't fit their view of how the world should work. We're all adults here not a bunch of high schoolers. If a girl doesn't like a guy because he doesn't approach then don't have anything to do with him but there's no reason to spew venom at him because he doesn't like approaching. And fellas a lot women don't like approaching men. If that's a problem for you that's tough. Let it go and move on. Some women will approach men they are interested in.
Brad pretty much hit the nail on the head even though I don't agree with him all of the time.
Women don't approach because they don't have to. That quite frankly is the only reason in all of this that makes sense. And even then she might start approaching men she likes if the only guys that approach her are not what she's looking for.
I wouldn't do it even if I am interested. If he is not interested, he might go out once because he feels flattered.
On the other hand if he comes to me, I know he likes me. So I guess yes, you can call me risk adverse.
I think that is what Ro was trying to get at. I mean if are risk adverse when it comes to attraction that is fine. People are risk adverse in certain aspects of their lives no shame in it.
Ladies if you like approaching a guy just say you don't do it leave it at that. Don't try to explain through some explanation of biology, hard wiring or how its his "job".
If you like the intrigue and fun of the "chase" along with guy who enjoys it that's fine. But don't expect every guy to cosign to it.
I think that is what Ro was trying to get at. I mean if are risk adverse when it comes to attraction that is fine. People are risk adverse in certain aspects of their lives no shame in it.
Ladies if you like approaching a guy just say you don't do it leave it at that. Don't try to explain through some explanation of biology, hard wiring or how its his "job".
If you like the intrigue and fun of the "chase" along with guy who enjoys it that's fine. But don't expect every guy to cosign to it.
[quote=mayita;26535978]It is not because I am afraid, it is because IMO men are wired to go after the things they want (feminism did not change Biology). If a guy is not attracted to me, he will not ask me out. Simple as that. If he does, at least I know he likes me....
quote]
^^ And this above is the way it is. This poster is right. Feminism did NOT change biology. Just because there are some men who like being asked out, and there are relationships that have worked very well when the woman did the asking, it still doesnt change this.
Men and women are different. Men (generally speaking) tend to be the pursuers. They are used to this..society is used to this. Men are and women are hardwired to be or act certain ways no matter how far feminism has come, and no matter what century we are in. That's just life. Because of this, most men, IF THEY ARE TRULY INTERESTED IN A WOMAN..will approach her some kind of way.
If you have some woman who is making googly eyes at some guy, and hanging onto his every word, batting her eyes at him..etc..etc.. and he doesnt approach her, u know what? He's not interested.
Most men..if they want it..they are gonna try for it. Some kind of way. Those small precentage of men that are too scared will just be weeded out, like a low status male wolf in a pack. He wont get the mate.
It is not because I am afraid, it is because IMO men are wired to go after the things they want (feminism did not change Biology). If a guy is not attracted to me, he will not ask me out. Simple as that. If he does, at least I know he likes me....
quote]
^^ And this above is the way it is. This poster is right. Feminism did NOT change biology. Just because there are some men who like being asked out, and there are relationships that have worked very well when the woman did the asking, it still doesnt change this.
Men and women are different. Men (generally speaking) tend to be the pursuers. They are used to this..society is used to this. Men are and women are hardwired to be or act certain ways no matter how far feminism has come, and no matter what century we are in. That's just life. Because of this, most men, IF THEY ARE TRULY INTERESTED IN A WOMAN..will approach her some kind of way.
If you have some woman who is making googly eyes at some guy, and hanging onto his every word, batting her eyes at him..etc..etc.. and he doesnt approach her, u know what? He's not interested.
Most men..if they want it..they are gonna try for it. Some kind of way. Those small precentage of men that are too scared will just be weeded out, like a low status male wolf in a pack. He wont get the mate.
And this is exactly what I was talking about. Very immature
Imo whether we like it or not we are biologically wired a certain way. I feel very uncomfortable pursuing a man. It is not for me.
You should tell this to the women on this thread including the OP who said they don't mind initiating contact with a man. Besides how can anyone tell someone else how their wired?
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Just kidding..do whatever you want. For me, I will not do that again. Though Im sure some men dont mind, I truly believe it just works better for ME if I let the guy do the asking. Because this is just the way the sexes work. Guys are so hardwired to be the ones to do the pursuing that I truly feel if a guy is REALLY interested in a woman, he will approach her some kind of way. If he doesnt, he just may not find her all that interesting. 
Would You Ask a Guy Out on a Date?
Very immature
