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LOL! Good post. Dissenter had this issue, but he overcame it. You might message him to find out how he made his breakthrough. Do you like bowling? Joining a bowling league would be one option. Figure out what you enjoy doing (besides the gym), and do that. Something you're comfortable and confident doing. Or push yourself out of your comfort zone altogether, and do the "dumb" thing: join activities/groups. That way you don't need to do the approaching. As women get to know you over time, they'll start up convos with you.
Meh. It's really up to you. The only one getting in your way is you. Best of luck.
The single men I meet all seem to be either 25 or 50 and older.
I'm quoting out of context, but I often find in my social ventures (having nothing to do with dating!) that most participants are either freshly out of college, or 55+. In between, they are all busy raising kids!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ragazza2011
I don't think asking for a single, mature, emotionally intelligent, disease-free, childless man between the ages of 34-40, who is gainfully employed, able to compose texts and e-mails like an educated adult, who's not obsessed with strippers/strip clubs, cocaine, or Facebook to be unreasonable request. I have yet to find this person.
"Emotional intelligence" is a popular recent management term synonymous with charisma, poise, maturity and empathy. Some degree of emotional intelligence is imperative in a friend or a romantic partner, but the operative question is the amount that's reasonable to expect - especially under the stressful conditions of dating.
That said, Ragazza's criteria are not strenuous, and for what it's worth, I meet them myself. But almost invariably there is a deeper requirement: a consonance in basic values. Man X and woman Y might be eminently appealing matches for each other based on criteria such as Ragazza's, but what if, say, one of them is devoutly religious, and the other the exact opposite? Since they are both emotionally intelligent, they can politely agree to disagree, potentially becoming friends. But this is not the basis for a relationship.
So instead the question isn't about meeting "nice" men, or "eligible" men, or "men of good character", but men whose basic values and life-goals agree with those of woman posing the question.
Personally, if I had to choose between the various evils, I'd rather choose a woman whose values agree with mine, even if she suffers from deficiencies of character that I regard as being disturbing (though hopefully not outright repugnant!), than a woman of ideal character, but whose expectations from life are vastly different from mine.
In sum, the real challenge isn't finding the gorgeous hunk or the hot babe, but an opposite-gender version of one's own self!
That is total BS. Even more so now than ever. If you aren't lucky enough to "crash" into each other, on goes the search.
Not BS at all in my experience. Most decent, nice guys are picked up and coupled pretty quickly. I consider myself extremely fortunate to be dating my nice, decent guy.
Now, the guys who THINK they're nice but really aren't? Yeah, those guys are usually single.
I don't think asking for a single, mature, emotionally intelligent, disease-free, childless man between the ages of 34-40, who is gainfully employed, able to compose texts and e-mails like an educated adult, who's not obsessed with strippers/strip clubs, cocaine, or Facebook to be unreasonable request. I have yet to find this person.
They are out there, a few are online but most are offline.
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