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It is a pretty common opinion that single folks lower their expectations as they get older. Do you find this to be true among those you know and yourselves?
In some sense, yes, in others, no. If you are older, single-mother or single-father, and working a middle of the road job, then I can see you settling or being comfortable single. The same goes for the successful as well. I have more successful friends, who remain single, because they can do everything they need done on their own.
Women have become more independant than our Mother's ever were. You have women that can say, "I don't need a man" and at times I can believe it. Dating is so much harder than it was 30 years ago, because the dating roles have reversed. Also, with technology, you can see 100's of potential males or females at the click of your mouse. You can potentially go on 100 dates in 10 minutes. Less women are looking for a sole provider and have leveled the playing field. Now, you have more female Doctors, Lawyers, CEOs, Accountants, and so on.....
I say for today's times, a guy has to bring more to the table, than he did 30 years ago. Fellas, women can do a lot for themselves today. How can you set yourself apart, to where you can show her that she needs you in her life? The same goes for you ladies as well. Men can do more too. Men now cook and clean, and do a decent job at it too. I know this sounds very barbaric and misogynistic, but this is how I see life through my eyes.
I wouldn't say expectations are higher, but that they change. I was one of those (girls) that grew up watching princess movies so my list of expecations was high. This sounds very cliche, but as I got older and experienced more life experiences, I've learned that life and people are not near perfect at all, but that we all must make a choice to make exceptions, and whether or not we want to keep trying to make that relationship work. Also, the older I've gotten, I've placed less emphasis on looks, but character. I regret overlooking all those men in my early life that really liked me, were much more friendlier than the attractive ones, but weren't as attractive themselves. These days, I am actually thankful to find imperfections in a man I admire because I know I am not perfect either, and those imperfections just makes him more attractive to me.
Last edited by onedirection; 10-19-2012 at 01:47 PM..
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I have a difficult time answering this - because it's a little mixed. Personally, I've found that the standards of what I will accept in terms of how I'm treated got a lot higher as I got older - and like you said in another thread, had more experience. At the same time, I find myself compromising in ways that I never expected. So, concurrently, while my standards in many ways are higher, I am also less selfish, more giving, more accepting.
I have a difficult time answering this - because it's a little mixed. Personally, I've found that the standards of what I will accept in terms of how I'm treated got a lot higher as I got older - and like you said in another thread, had more experience. At the same time, I find myself compromising in ways that I never expected. So, concurrently, while my standards in many ways are higher, I am also less selfish, more giving, more accepting.
Yes!! Not only does what you want change, but who you are has changed as well. My SO and I were talking about this the other night, being more selective at this age, but also very much "this is who I am" and being accepting of who the other person is, exactly as they are.
I think when you are older and looking for love the circumstances of your past choices come to bear on your decisions. As a young person you have every right to expect that the person you choose meets or exceeds your expectations in many areas. As we get older ,more experienced, and most importantly we know ourselves better, we tend to put a premium on certain traits we are looking for. For instance if you have been cheated on you will place higher expectations on loyalty and honestly rather than ;tall dark and handsome, a great dancer, good provider, and good conversationalists.
Like some posters have suggested yes and no. We will place higher expectations on the things our past choices have been lacking in and lower expectations on things we thought would make us happy but didn't.
I would say they get higher.
Most of the single people I know in their 40s+ would rather stay single than put up with most of the people available to date.
Most of the people I know in their 20s will date whatever/whoever just to try stuff out, etc.
in my own experience i've met extremes. women that wouldn't settle for anything less than Mr. Absolutely Perfect and then women who would basically hook up with the first guy that took them out on a date.
It is a pretty common opinion that single folks lower their expectations as they get older. Do you find this to be true among those you know and yourselves?
I've changed my expectations. If put on scale with earlier expectations, I'd say they're higher now- because I am now wise.
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Not only does what you want change, but who you are has changed as well. My SO and I were talking about this the other night, being more selective at this age, but also very much "this is who I am" and being accepting of who the other person is, exactly as they are.
