Do you play games when dating? (wife, marriage, girls, love)
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I try to avoid all games and drama, but I will make sure that a woman im approaching/persuing/dating knows that I have options, which almost always is pretty evident on its own. Many women will test guys who they have romantic interest in, but mostly only when they sense lack of confidence. SO when youre asked by a woman you just approached in a bar, to watch her coat, buy her drinks or even witness her trying to be all of a sudden standoffish or rude to you, she is only testing you to ensure that your le vel of confidence is where it needs to be. All it really means is that your approach is lacking, because if you are truly self-confident, witty and charming - women will not test you.
Your argument on testing has always been ridiculous. If a woman you just met asks you to watch her stuff, she's dumb. What if you fail the test and head for the hills with her purse. What does she gain from that? You live in make believe land.
And your theory that women want to know you have options is WAY off base. I think that's been proven.
What is the correlation between game playing and getting to know someone? They are two entirely separate things to me.
Yes, I'm not seeing the connection here either. Getting to know each other does not really involve games. Flirting, yes... but I don't think flirting is games.
I don't think waiting to call after getting a number is necessarily game playing.
Pertinent example, only last night I got a woman's number (cows also leapt over the moon at this point), but I wouldn't call her today, or tomorrow. Not because I'm playing a "game", but simply because it comes off as desperate or overly aggressive. So I'll call her in the middle of the week.
As for all those other things you mentioned, those are PUA techniques of dubious quality. Even if they worked, I would never use them. Relationships are not games to me.
Almost everyone plays games all the time they are just in denial about it. Or they will play games semantic games and say they aren't doing it when they are, both men and women. People actually like some gamesmanship the problem is people take it too far. Flirting is gaming IMO and plenty of men and women do that everyday. People are competitive by nature so playing games can be fun. a little gaming is fine in the beginning but then at some point both parties need to show their true colors otherwise you are living a lie.
Now we are getting someplace! Flirting is gaming, true, and to some degree required as to know that there is interest... Thanks!
Well may dad always said "You don't really know someone until you have been with them for 7 years." I've learned he was a wise man.
Then in my case, I have worked with the public (people) most of my life. So I can just sort of tell what type a person is. Just a short conversation will do.
Anyway the best way to get to know someone is not to ask questions, rather make statements about yourself and your feelings. Then listen to their response.
Example 1:
Me: I like to go hiking, camping, and go for drives out in the woods or rural areas.
Friend: I like hiking too! Are they any good trails around here?
Me: Start talking about hiking trails in the area.
Example 2:
Me: I like to go hiking, camping, and go for drives out in the woods or rural areas.
Friend: I like to go shopping at Gucci and I like to eat at expensive restaurants.
Me: I just remembered I have an appointment, bye!
Example 3:
Me: I like to go hiking, camping, and go for drives out in the woods or rural areas.
Friend: Ignores me and starts texting on phone.
Me: Bye!
Your dad is correct as deception can be played for a long time. Of course deception is a lie so sooner or later it comes out...
I agree, but unfortunately many, many people do. I used to when I was younger myself. The minute I was uncertain I would play head games to see just how much she liked me. I was young and immature. Those are the ones who play head games the most. I fortunate for me grew up. That doesn't mean that older people don't play them too, they just never grew up emotionally. I found personally that when I grew up, I couldn't tolerate them anymore. I wasn't willing to play them nor was I willing to deal with them. When I was dating, the minute a women starts playing games and I've said this before on here, I go helter skelter on them. I used to be the master at playing head games, so it's a skill that you never forget. I play back really hard/ full throttle and then diss them/ never have anything to do with them again. A girl who plays head games is the biggest turn off in my book. Don't confuse head games with uncertainty or confusion. Sometimes people truly just don't know what they want and it might appear as head games. The key is figuring out which is which. But no, head games is a deal breaker. If I feel the need to mentally fk someone/ hurt someone, then there is no reason to be a part of that persons life.
How old were you when you realized that many games are undesirable? Was there a specific point in time or a more generalized era?
What games do you dislike the most?
I don't mind being tested to a degree, however as an example, playing 'not answer the phone to see how concerned one gets' is not really cool, IMHO
I think there is a difference between unintentional games and intentional ones. Making sure that people know you are wanted by others - that's an intentional game. Feeling rejected and downtrodden because you think the person you have feelings for doesn't feel the same way and flirting with someone else in front of them to make yourself feel better is an unintentional game. Knowing someone feels the same way about you and flirting with someone else in front of them to see how they react is an intentional game.
There is a lot of gray areas here.
Point being - when I have feelings for someone - I'm usually pretty obvious about it whether I intend to be or not. And if I have questions as to how they feel about me - I usually just ask them because I'm too impatient and transparent to try to get it out of them underhandedly.
Excellent! Thanks! The gray areas are what I am interested in!
What is the correlation between game playing and getting to know someone? They are two entirely separate things to me.
In an offhand way, people sometimes use games to get to know people, such as testing their limitations, provoking jealousy and such... (I am not saying that is a good way, just that some people do it, so it made me curious...)
If you want, please say some more about the gray areas. I have mentioned that some games can be good and some can be bad, those are fairly easy to determine, the ones that can go either way, like you said, gray areas...
Yes, I'm not seeing the connection here either. Getting to know each other does not really involve games. Flirting, yes... but I don't think flirting is games.
Yet many do, why? And I agree with you, thus the curiosity...
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The gray areas are what I am interested in!
