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I would live in a trailer in the country rather than a house in a neighborhood rather than put up with that kind of hostility. I couldn't tolerate it, personally. My spirit would feel compromised and under attack. I applaud you for the way you have turned the other cheek by teaching your children to wave at those boys who then gave you the finger. Angry parents often breed angry children and they repeat the cycle. My prayer for you today is that you continue to do right, no matter how bad your neighbors are, and that you will make an appointment with your bank this time. A realtor is not a banker. Get an opinion about how much equity you have and how much a bank will loan you, and seriously consider getting out of that neighborhood. I'm concerned for you and your children. Best of luck and may God protect you.
I HAVE made these appointments. I have bad credit and nobody will loan me a thing. I even called the place out in Fountain City that is always on the radio as being the best place to get a home loan and 'they will take care of you'.....and you know they barely listened to me, so much for taking care of me. And as to living in a trailer, wouldn't that be letting them win ? When my husband left over 10 years ago, he would call me all the time and ask me ' have you lost the house yet ?' . So for all this time i have fought, and worked, and scratched my way to being able to keep this home so I would have something to give my children when I die. I'd like to have a different home to give them of course. I'm 42 years old, bad credit, low income, who will give me a loan for a home ? It's easy to say you would rather live in a trailer than in a place like this, but have you been in my shoes ? We house ALOT of animals , from adoptions and some that we are fostering. I work from home, and my daughter has her business from home. I have an award winning flower garden, of course I could take some of that with me and start over. I have a full house of furniture , now HOW in heck would I run my business, her business, house all these animals, and have ANY room to walk in a trailer ? We are overcrowded with 1,700 sq. feet and a full garage. Not to mention, if I don't qualify for a home loan, I won't qualify for a trailer loan.
I'm sorry everyone, I really appreciate your efforts, I truthfully do, I just don't see a way out until the day I die. Just pray for me if you don't mind.
Why not call the police when the kids start wrecking your yard? You've tried to be nice and kind and it's getting you nowhere.
If their animals aren't taken care of, report them to the humane society. If the kids are being placed in danger- riding on lawn mowers, a three year old on a four wheeler and a baby in the street, report this crazy woman to child services.
You've tried to take the high road but this woman seems unable to drag her sorry self above the gutter.
You deserve peace- and you deserve to keep the home that you fought for after your divorce. Use the laws of the land and the laws of decency to do so.
Sorry but I'll be the outcast here, IMO in no way should you consider moving. I would recommend that you put up a fence around your property and put up NO TRESPASSING signs.
In addition you should speak with the local police station and make them aware of what is happening and the property damage that has occured in the past. This way it's in writing.
I'm sorry but a home is a big investment and in no way should you be forced to live in fear of ignorant neighbors. Forget the kindness routine, forget speaking to them; forget waving at them, you are not a doormat. In addition why be nice to ignorant people anyway, those are not ones you want as friends or neighbors. Unfortunately, you can't choose your neighbors but you do have the right to your property.
Do you think if you went to your neighbor with a pie and said with a big smile that you want to call a truce? Tell her that you don't know what you did to offend her, but that life is too short to spend upset with one another. I'm not suggesting that you did anything to deserve the treatment, but putting out the white flag might give her the opportunity to be "the big one" and accept you "apology". Then you don't need to go back to being BFFs, but just cordial to one another.
I think I would notify the police, too, about the damage the boys are doing to your property. The ditches that the boys are digging could be a liability for you if someone fell and got hurt. I would also have about three or four tangible incidents with your neighbor to share with the police and see if they have any suggestions. Perhaps a restaining order if the first suggestion doesn't work?
Do you think that the neighbors object to all the animals that you have? Are there cages or other things out in your yard? In your car port? Is there a lot of "stuff" outside of your house that might be considerd a blight?
Is renting your place an option? Maybe you can rent another for the extra money that you would get by renting out yours?
I have wonderful neighbors and am so grateful. I am so sorry that you have to tolerate this. Sounds like you are living in a hell hole because of the low-class neighbors.
Here in VA we have a program called "VHDA". There are also programs under ACORN and Nehemiah. The goal is to help people in situations similar to yours become homeowners. The biggest obstacle I see is that you're currently a homeowner and these programs are for first time buyers. I have no clue what these programs would be called in your area...but I'm sure there's something similar down there. If you can't find an agent who knows how to help you, talk to a lender.
And if it means you'll have peace of mind...renting really isn't all that bad.
Location: Life here is not an Apollo Mission. Everyone calm down.
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I would not move. Next I would search online for your town or city ordinances. Read them...see if they qualify for any violations. The town I work in has a ordinance about "holes" and "excavations." Of course it is on your property, so find out who your ordinance code enforcement officer is and get to know them. Call the code enforcement officer for advise every time you have a question. Make your neighbors their problem. When talking to the code enforcement officer or the police, the calmer you are, the more serious you are taken. Don't take this the wrong way. They have to deal with people all day long and talking to someone who is calm and pleasant...well, they will go the extra mile for you.
Homeowners have rights.
Of course, you have to make sure you are not violating any codes yourself.
I'd do some research.
These kids are going to eventually grow up and move on to other activities. You have equity in your home...it's not worth the trouble. Neighborhoods change constantly. Be patient. Build up a resistance to them. Ignore them on the street, while passing them etc., don't even look at them.
They win if you let them get you worked up.
Did she really put a sign on the boundary of your lawn? That might qualify as harassment.
And I almost forgot. Do you have a digital camera? Every time those kids are on your lawn...simply walk out, walk right up to them, snap a photograph and walk right back into the house. That will make the kids nervous.
Also, most police agencies have what is called a "patrol when possible." You call the police (make sure you find their non-emergency number.) Tell them you've had problems with kids digging up your yard and you would like additional patrol. No need to do this all the time. I would request one about every other month.
Last edited by MainStreet; 10-14-2007 at 05:22 AM..
"........ The thing is, we used to be bestfriends, and she told me everything, so I know what is happening, not to mention that every now and then the police are called and a month or so ago came searching in my yard for her husband.........."
Why would they look in your yard for her husband? Did she stop being your "best friend" before or after?
Just a thought, and following up on what others have said, but have you ever contacted the local police department when these people are trespassing on your property and otherwise harrrassing you? Contacted an attorney or Legal Aid in your area to see what steps you might be able to take to get them into court? In most jurisdictions you are entitled by law to protection of your privacy and property.
Document both in writing and on camera everything that's going on, stay calm, report what you need to report to the authorities and let THEM deal with it. I've gone through similar things in my 'hood... Good luck!
So you've lived 16 years in your house and have no equity in it? How much is your house worth? In the meantime, try pay down your mortgage faster. Even just one extra payment a year would help. And try hard to improve your credit in the meantime. Are you a single mom? It pains me to hear about your situation and I hope that you can eventually move out of there.
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