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Well...... I've had no relationship issues ever and i've no financial ones either. My children couldn't be classified as 'baggage' and they're all grown up except the youngest and her and the dogs would go with my wife soooooo..... the cat maybe?
If a prospective female didn't like my cat she wouldn't last long.
So, 0 (if you like my cat) 10 (if you don't).
Last edited by Baldrick; 11-24-2012 at 07:54 AM..
Reason: "Just a small amount of milk and no sugar... Thank you!" :)
You've really lucked out. I know quite a few people with immense emotional baggage and it definitely impacts how they go about pursuing relationships and how long it takes for them to get over certain things.
I think that if you don't have some sort of self-esteem issues in this day and age, you're an anomaly.
One of my exes wasn't the most supportive for sure, but it hasn't affected me too negatively. When one tends not to date very much, one tends not to have too many bad relationships. Law of averages. Also, I don't tend to attract the shallow, psycho b@tches, because they don't want a guy like me.
Other people have obvious issues from dating people who are not good people or who continuously put them down, or abused them, mentally or physically. But I have a hard time feeling sorry for those people when they keep going after the same kinds of people.
I deal with more self esteem issues than the average person I think because I've experienced so much rejection, but others have had more bad relationship experiences. I guess you could say it's a trade off.
One of my exes wasn't the most supportive for sure, but it hasn't affected me too negatively. When one tends not to date very much, one tends not to have too many bad relationships. Law of averages. Also, I don't tend to attract the shallow, psycho b@tches, because they don't want a guy like me.
Other people have obvious issues from dating people who are not good people or who continuously put them down, or abused them, mentally or physically. But I have a hard time feeling sorry for those people when they keep going after the same kinds of people.
I deal with more self esteem issues than the average person I think because I've experienced so much rejection, but others have had more bad relationship experiences. I guess you could say it's a trade off.
It is a trade off. But, you forget the emotional baggage that can stem from platonic and familial relationships, as well.
I have one friend who I'm really struggling to understand, for example. She's from a very close-minded family and grew up in a rural setting. She's been overweight her entire life, and was always teased for it and never had many friends. She got her first boyfriend freshman year of college (which was when I met her), and I guess it gave her some sort of emotional validation because she hasn't been single for longer than a week, since.
I think a lot of times when people are really effected by their baggage, it's not merely from romantic relationships, but from a whole host of other relationships in conjunction with those.
But you're absolutely right when you say that people develop dating patterns, and do tend to go after the same types of people. I don't know if it's to try to undo what damage the first failed relationship caused, or what.
It is a trade off. But, you forget the emotional baggage that can stem from platonic and familial relationships, as well.
I have one friend who I'm really struggling to understand, for example. She's from a very close-minded family and grew up in a rural setting. She's been overweight her entire life, and was always teased for it and never had many friends. She got her first boyfriend freshman year of college (which was when I met her), and I guess it gave her some sort of emotional validation because she hasn't been single for longer than a week, since.
I think a lot of times when people are really effected by their baggage, it's not merely from romantic relationships, but from a whole host of other relationships in conjunction with those.
But you're absolutely right when you say that people develop dating patterns, and do tend to go after the same types of people. I don't know if it's to try to undo what damage the first failed relationship caused, or what.
Yea, I really think some people could easily have it all if they just 'tweaked' their sense of attraction a bit, but I have seen very few that are willing to do that.
Baggage to one person might not be baggage to another.
If my husband dropped dead tomorrow and I was out on the market again, I wouldn't see a man with children as having "baggage". I don't know, I guess because I love kids and have my own, that wouldn't bother me in the least.
Baggage to me would be serious financial issues that prevent us from buying a home. Having very little money in his 401K would be a major issue for me because at my age (39) there is no excuse for that. Someone who is always unemployed wouldn't exactly look appealing either. I get that the economy isn't at it's best right now, but if he has a habit of losing job after job, sometimes that's not the economy.
Having issues within their family that prevent them from getting along would be a huge deterrent to me as well. If he hasn't talked to his brother/sister/mother/father for x amount of years over a spat then I'd rather not partake in that kind of family.
As for emotional issues. Some things would be considered a big "no thank you" for me. I can deal with someone with depression or anxiety. Someone who is manic, bipolar or schizo...well I just wouldn't want to deal with that.
Someone who has major medical issues wouldn't be high on my list either, ESPECIALLY if they did nothing to help themselves. I'm thinking of the type 2 diabetic or person with high cholesterol who doesn't give a rats pahtootie about diet, or the person with heart disease that lays on the couch stuffing his face wtih potato chips. If they are contributing to their own poor health they just would not mesh well with me.
As for myself:
I have 4 kids....for most people that is MAJOR baggage
I'm sure if I were single I wouldn't get past a first date with the majority of the population when they found out that tidbit.
Yea, I really think some people could easily have it all if they just 'tweaked' their sense of attraction a bit, but I have seen very few that are willing to do that.
Unwilling and/or lacking insight. It's a double-edged sword.
Baggage to one person might not be baggage to another.
If my husband dropped dead tomorrow and I was out on the market again, I wouldn't see a man with children as having "baggage". I don't know, I guess because I love kids and have my own, that wouldn't bother me in the least.
Baggage to me would be serious financial issues that prevent us from buying a home. Having very little money in his 401K would be a major issue for me because at my age (39) there is no excuse for that. Someone who is always unemployed wouldn't exactly look appealing either. I get that the economy isn't at it's best right now, but if he has a habit of losing job after job, sometimes that's not the economy.
Having issues within their family that prevent them from getting along would be a huge deterrent to me as well. If he hasn't talked to his brother/sister/mother/father for x amount of years over a spat then I'd rather not partake in that kind of family.
As for emotional issues. Some things would be considered a big "no thank you" for me. I can deal with someone with depression or anxiety. Someone who is manic, bipolar or schizo...well I just wouldn't want to deal with that.
Someone who has major medical issues wouldn't be high on my list either, ESPECIALLY if they did nothing to help themselves. I'm thinking of the type 2 diabetic or person with high cholesterol who doesn't give a rats pahtootie about diet, or the person with heart disease that lays on the couch stuffing his face wtih potato chips. If they are contributing to their own poor health they just would not mesh well with me.
As for myself:
I have 4 kids....for most people that is MAJOR baggage
I'm sure if I were single I wouldn't get past a first date with the majority of the population when they found out that tidbit.
The amount in a guy's 401K is a dealbreaker for you at age 39?
3 to 6% of your salary plus 50% for what like 15 years of working?
That's like 100K for the average person if they kept the same job since the start. That's not a lot of $. The bulk of your retirement has to come from other sources.
I'm complicated and over-analyze everything. I guess that's baggage. I'm also a minimalist. I guess that's a lack of baggage.
Lol, you just be my long lost twin
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Law of averages. Also, I don't tend to attract the shallow, psycho b@tches, because they don't want a guy like me. 
