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Location: Everybody is going to hurt you, you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for-B Marley
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How do you explain to someone who's looking for a relationship, in terms they can comprehend, that what many people run from is this look a person in search of often possesses; a look of predator that almost audibly asks, 'Are you the one?'. I don't know how else to describe it to them but it's very distinctive and I think many people scare others away with it. There are some very articulate people here. Help me with this, please. Thanks.
ETA: I want to share this with someone so they can learn to keep it in check. You don't have to look like you're looking just because you are.
There are two kinds, I think: the one that indicates the person is assessing you, and you can almost see the person running down some kind of internal checklist like you're at a job interview, and the one of the eager little puppy at the pound who is wagging his tail like, "Pick me! Pick me!"
Location: Everybody is going to hurt you, you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for-B Marley
9,516 posts, read 20,000,387 times
Reputation: 9418
Quote:
Originally Posted by Avienne
There are two kinds, I think: the one that indicates the person is assessing you, and you can almost see the person running down some kind of internal checklist like you're at a job interview, and the one of the eager little puppy at the pound who is wagging his tail like, "Pick me! Pick me!"
That's the one! LOL But I tried the 'too eager' look description. I got a deer in the headlights look.
I think if you look at someone and don't smile = creepy. So "puppy dog" or "checklist" look could be salvaged with a good smile at the end as long as they don't hang on any "areas" with their eyes while smiling.
Location: Everybody is going to hurt you, you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for-B Marley
9,516 posts, read 20,000,387 times
Reputation: 9418
Quote:
Originally Posted by pitt_transplant
I think if you look at someone and don't smile = creepy. So "puppy dog" or "checklist" look could be salvaged with a good smile at the end as long as they don't hang on any "areas" with their eyes while smiling.
Oh no. This guy smiles. He's very gregarious, upbeat. But he looks too eager. I've known him a long time and it's the second time I've seen him actually repel women, when he's actively looking. I think it's like being a tourist; you need to be concious of not looking like one sometimes if you don't want to become prey (what so many here complain about with the opposite sex). It's doable.
well i think women are more concerned with physical safety. so a man definitely, definitely cannot give off the "predator" (serial killer) vibe, not as a stranger. women have to be pretty far out there to really scare a man that way. i have seen it too, though, i agree.
although by what you describe in further posts, he does not sound predator-ish at all. he sounds needy and lonely.
IMO, women are very attuned to the idea that "nobody else wants you." Often it is not an absolute assessment of, "what is this guy all about?", but rather a relative assessment that other women clearly don't want him, so "I probably shouldn't either."
Location: Everybody is going to hurt you, you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for-B Marley
9,516 posts, read 20,000,387 times
Reputation: 9418
Quote:
Originally Posted by le roi
well i think women are more concerned with physical safety. so a man definitely, definitely cannot give off the "predator" vibe, not as a stranger.
women have to be pretty far "out there" to really scare a man that way. i have seen it too, though, i agree.
although what you describe in further posts, does not sound predator-ish at all. it sounds needy.
I don't think so. Men don't want someone who's too eager either. I've been there--been the one who looked too eager. I learned how to control that so I know it's a real issue.
Oh no. This guy smiles. He's very gregarious, upbeat. But he looks too eager. I've known him a long time and it's the second time I've seen him actually repel women, when he's actively looking. I think it's like being a tourist; you need to be concious of not looking like one sometimes if you don't want to become prey (what so many here complain about with the opposite sex). It's doable.
That sounds like a gooning smile? Is it? Smile should last less than a second and be soft followed with a glance away. If you keep staring and smiling....yiiiiiiiiiiikes. LOL
Maybe you should video him on a phone or do an impression to show how odd it comes off?
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This guy smiles. He's very gregarious, upbeat. But he looks too eager. I've known him a long time and it's the second time I've seen him actually repel women, when he's actively looking. I think it's like being a tourist; you need to be concious of not looking like one sometimes if you don't want to become prey (what so many here complain about with the opposite sex). It's doable.
