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I think sex is necessary to determine if a relationship is even possible. Face it, if two people aren't sexually compatible, all bets are off. Why start a relationship only to discover that the woman is sexually traumatized because she was repeatedly raped by her father before she was a teenager? Why start a relationship only to discover that the man can only "get off" if he's wearing leather, being tied, and being severely beaten?
I think sex is necessary to determine if a relationship is even possible. Face it, if two people aren't sexually compatible, all bets are off. Why start a relationship only to discover that the woman is sexually traumatized because she was repeatedly raped by her father before she was a teenager? Why start a relationship only to discover that the man can only "get off" if he's wearing leather, being tied, and being severely beaten?
Those are things you don't have to experience with a new partner to find out. When you are with someone and start to get to know them, you'll be able to open up more and these are the things that will be discussed and eventually the woman with the rape issue will be able to begin to trust her man the more she gets to know him and the slower they take things. A person that has this problem with a previous rape will most likely want to take things really slow until they get to know more about a guy and eventually build enough trust to open up to sexual activity once again. Rape victims are not allergic to sex afterall. As for the getting off thing, well you don't have to try and see with that either. All you gotta do is get to know one another until that point in the relationship comes where that conversation takes place and you tell him your desires and wants as she tells hers. So, sex isn't neccesary, some people just don't have the patience to wait for anything real even if it means you reject or get rejected after courting someone for months.
Those are things you don't have ...someone for months.
I say it's OK. My wife and I had sex before we started a relationship. Sex was a vital part of the process of sharing ourselves with each other. Been happily married to this angel for nearly 24 years.
When we first met, I could hardly wait to see the gorgeous woman in all her naked glory, and when I did, yeeeeee haaaah! Wait until we start a relationship to experience that? You're nuts. The feeling was mutual I discovered. In fact, the relationship was started while in the act.
Thank God for the passage of time and the elimination of these stupid conservative ways of looking at topics like this.
I say it's OK. My wife and I had sex before we started a relationship. Sex was a vital part of the process of sharing ourselves with each other. Been happily married to this angel for nearly 24 years.
When we first met, I could hardly wait to see the gorgeous woman in all her naked glory, and when I did, yeeeeee haaaah! Wait until we start a relationship to experience that? You're nuts. The feeling was mutual I discovered. In fact, the relationship was started while in the act.
Thank God for the passage of time and the elimination of these stupid conservative ways of looking at topics like this.
Yeah thank God that out of every one of you that there are also 50 people who may have had a kid that doesn't know thier mother/father, or whom was aborted. In your case you were fortunate, lots of other people are not. Thank God is right!
I say it's OK. My wife and I had sex before we started a relationship. Sex was a vital part of the process of sharing ourselves with each other. Been happily married to this angel for nearly 24 years.
When we first met, I could hardly wait to see the gorgeous woman in all her naked glory, and when I did, yeeeeee haaaah! Wait until we start a relationship to experience that? You're nuts. The feeling was mutual I discovered. In fact, the relationship was started while in the act.
Thank God for the passage of time and the elimination of these stupid conservative ways of looking at topics like this.
Things are much more conservative now than they were. Five bucks says the OP is younger than we are.
I see no reason to think that a relationship is necessary for sex in any way. I think too many people subscribe to the notion that there is some way sex is _meant_ to be done or used or had and if you deviate from that you are in the wrong. Not so - how we choose to express ourselves with our own bodies is our own business and no one elses.
I myself have done it in relationships and out of relationships and it is different each time and it "means" different things each time. Really OP only you can answer the question for yourself. Decide what you want from sexual experience and expression and then seek that - and if that means it has to be in a relationship for you then that is your path.
Things are much more conservative now than they were. Five bucks says the OP is younger than we are.
We can narrow that argument down as well. Lots of people in the 80's did cocaine and it seemed ok back then, how did the actions of taking cocaine affect peoples' lives? There are consequences for the decisions we make. You may say it's ok to have sex before marraige just like most people do now and did in the history of the world, but does that change the amount of abortions that have occured because a woman couldn't support a baby or was too lazy and addicted to drugs to support children? Wouldn't you say that the percentage of abortions would lower dramatically if 2 married people had to decide on whether or not to have an abortion? What about the amount of children that are father or motherless, do you think waiting for marraige to have sex would decrease those numbers? I do. Usually people who can't control sexual desires or have no patience are the ones who do not think of these consequences seriously. Are you immune to the consequences I just spoke about? Can protection prevent these consequences from taking place?
Of God and Men, all thing virtuous and moralistic are designs, thoughts, rules or doctrine created by Man, supposedly from divine inspiration. I am Agnostic, don't read too much into it.
At the core we are one of two species on this planet who engage in sex for recreation. Can anyone guess the other animals who do this? Here's a hint, they are hairy, eat bananas and its not Bigfoot.
Most other species Rut or have a cycle, release scent pheromones and attract mates based on strongest, fastest, most brutal or prettiest feathers. They select mates based on survival instincts.
While the notion that you should not have sex until you are married is virtuous. I submit to you a virtuous generation of baby boomers who have a divorce rate greater than 50%.
I have to start this debate now, would this generation had been better off and had longer lasting relationships if they had multiple sex partners before committing?
Closing: Sex and its enjoyment is directly related to our Intelligence. We know what "feels good" and we do it as much as we can. It is not a survival instinct anymore, it is a choice. And if we go back to the Garden of Eden, the greatest gift imparted to us from our creator was "choice" human will.
Disclosure: 40 year old man, married 22-years (today as a matter of fact), 3 kids ages, 21,19 1/2, & 18. Do the math married 22 years with a 21 year old. Our 21 is college graduate, has been on BC since 16. Has had two partners I know of, not proud of that, I am still a dad and would commit homicide for my kids, but she doesn't have any babies and she has the tools to build a life and support herself. IE: She learned from our mistakes.
We can narrow that argument down as well. Lots of people in the 80's did cocaine and it seemed ok back then, how did the actions of taking cocaine affect peoples' lives? There are consequences for the decisions we make. You may say it's ok to have sex before marraige just like most people do now and did in the history of the world, but does that change the amount of abortions that have occured because a woman couldn't support a baby or was too lazy and addicted to drugs to support children? Wouldn't you say that the percentage of abortions would lower dramatically if 2 married people had to decide on whether or not to have an abortion? What about the amount of children that are father or motherless, do you think waiting for marraige to have sex would decrease those numbers? I do. Usually people who can't control sexual desires or have no patience are the ones who do not think of these consequences seriously. Are you immune to the consequences I just spoke about? Can protection prevent these consequences from taking place?
Of God and Men, all thing virtuous and moralistic are designs, thoughts, rules or doctrine created by Man, supposedly from divine inspiration. I am Agnostic, don't read too much into it.
At the core we are one of two species on this planet who engage in sex for recreation. Can anyone guess the other animals who do this? Here's a hint, they are hairy, eat bananas and its not Bigfoot.
Most other species Rut or have a cycle, release scent pheromones and attract mates based on strongest, fastest, most brutal or prettiest feathers. They select mates based on survival instincts.
While the notion that you should not have sex until you are married is virtuous. I submit to you a virtuous generation of baby boomers who have a divorce rate greater than 50%.
I have to start this debate now, would this generation had been better off and had longer lasting relationships if they had multiple sex partners before committing?
Closing: Sex and its enjoyment is directly related to our Intelligence. We know what "feels good" and we do it as much as we can. It is not a survival instinct anymore, it is a choice. And if we go back to the Garden of Eden, the greatest gift imparted to us from our creator was "choice" human will.
Disclosure: 40 year old man, married 22-years (today as a matter of fact), 3 kids ages, 21,19 1/2, & 18. Do the math married 22 years with a 21 year old. Our 21 is college graduate, has been on BC since 16. Has had two partners I know of, not proud of that, I am still a dad and would commit homicide for my kids, but she doesn't have any babies and she has the tools to build a life and support herself. IE: She learned from our mistakes.
This topic is about sex before relationships and to me that means just having flings with people in the dating world. Now let's say your current wife was just one of those flings and you never married, but the same daughter you have now (the 21 year old) popped out, and after 20 years the mother of your daughter was trying to find you because you guys somehow lost touch, so that she could tell you that you had a child. How would that have affected the child all these years not knowing her father? This happens all the time as you know. Although I've broken my own rules out of being inexperienced and having sex before marraige I never just slept around like some people are suggesting is right. I always cared and thought I would always be around with the women I did it with. I didn't want to get into the religious aspect of it with you because that would go nowhere as we are both set in our beliefs, but scientifically the statistics for abortion and parentless children would go down if people waited to have sex until they were in a relationship and the statistics would go down even more if waiting until marraige. I know too many single mothers and fathers out there and a few people who had abortions too because of their loose/free ways, so my argument is also based on experience of knowing people like this who thought it was fine to sleep around before getting to establish anything serious with someone.
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Why start a relationship only to discover that the man can only "get off" if he's wearing leather, being tied, and being severely beaten?
Not convinced
