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I am a poor law student earning a minor in accounting. I am also taking real estate classes on the side and act for living expenses not to mention starting a business. I look forward to the day I will be able to afford a family and wife. To say the least, it's been a very long and lonely emotional life. I really want a family. The problem is that I moved out of state to do an accelerated program so that I can come back to the love of my life early mostly because her step-family did not like that I was poor and so made it really difficult for us to date normally. It was heartbreaking. They did not invite me to family events and holidays and acted jealous when we would spend time together. I spent the holidays alone or at a bar or with random friends only to see all the memories she was building with her family without me posted on FB. Heck, the kids even wondered why I wasn't around. I was concerned about the kids too because I was bared from being present these little girls would think I was another bad example of a man and I did everything in my power to show them good men exist. I genuinely liked them and thought they liked me too. Anyway, I came out here so that her life would be easier and I could get my finances together. I feel like that guy Heathcliff or Jay Gatsby hehehe. We had a lot of mutual friends and when we decided to end it for now until we get our careers together those mutual friends were cold to me. I can't contact her family to tell them how I'm doing or anything because she says that would be weird, they see me as just some old ex boyfriend now, which I am appalled and surprised because I went out of my way to help them with their business and try to be a part of their lives and show them I cared. I feel like I'm being disliked for just loving someone and being accountable and communicative to the people I intend on being family with. I'm angry for being mistreated and seeing her upset all the time. I just wanted to love these people. I can't even send her a birthday present unless I buy them all a present. Anyone ever see or experience anything like this? WTF? Can't people just fall in love and live in peace? Don't they see that I'm a giver and want the people I love to succeed and be happy too? What did I do wrong? What could I have done better? Have more money earlier?
1) How old are you? You sound very young, yet your post implies you are older than the average law student.
2) You should be more concerned why the "love of your life" is allowing her family to dictate how she lives her life and permitting them to treat you like crap. That's not something a functional adult would be ok with. When my family didn't like the guy I was with, I basically told them that was fine, and I would have other plans for the holidays. The backpedaling on their part was rather epic. So why isn't this woman standing up for you? Why isn't she CHOOSING you?
3) Are you building relationships with people in law school? Making connections? An old friend is graduating from law school (we are in our mid-30s) and I can see that she has used the opportunity to extend her circle of contacts and friends almost exponentially.
4) Does the love of your life have an actual career or is she just waiting for someone to take care of her and her kids? Where is the father of her children?
I don't really get this at all. You are adults. Why aren't you pursuing the relationship you want? Why are you sloughing all the blame off onto her family when she is a grown-up who should be making her own choices?
Last edited by JrzDefector; 12-17-2012 at 07:53 AM..
Here's some suggestions. Drop the real estate course and focus on one career first, law or accounting. Not both. Get one going, (suggest the accounting), then finish out the other later. Get a job to get some income coming in. Drop the woman and find someone else. She obviously cares about pleasing her family rather than a relationship with you. Just be glad you found out ahead of time, because it probably wouldn't have worked. For some women, even after they're married, family comes first, husband comes last. Then get a job. Dating for a guy will be very difficult without a job/money.
One can never be too poor to have love...I'm sorry you feel that way...I can't help thinking that this woman (who you care for so much) is part to blame for your anguish, if she felt the same for you as you do for her she WOULD want you to call, I find it weird that she thinks that it would be weird...I also find it very weird that you can't send her a birthday present, without feeling obligated to send one for everyone...I think it's major weird that they would "barr" you from showing you care for others...I hope it all turns out the way you're hoping it will, but this woman you speak so highly of comes across as rather "fickle" in my opinion...is she making any attempts at all to keep in contact with you?
There was one major thing that stood out to me in this post.
Quote:
They did not invite me to family events and holidays and acted jealous when we would spend time together. I spent the holidays alone or at a bar or with random friends only to see all the memories she was building with her family without me posted on FB.
The love of your life allowed her family to dictate the time she spent with you. Apparently her family was more important to her than you were.
1. There is no such thing as "law school, with a minor in accounting".
2. No one can go to law school, study accounting AND real estate, start/run a small business, and "act" in exchange for rent (??) all at the same time. And one of those is supposedly an "accelerated program" ? It's a good way to flunk out of law school. Along with all the rest of it.
3. Why break it off "for now", just for 3 years of law school? Or less ("accelerated program")
4. Can't buy her a birthday present before buying the entire family presents?
Something here just doesn't add up. Either that, or there's a lot of key information missing.
I am a poor law student earning a minor in accounting. I am also taking real estate classes on the side and act for living expenses not to mention starting a business. I look forward to the day I will be able to afford a family and wife. To say the least, it's been a very long and lonely emotional life. I really want a family. The problem is that I moved out of state to do an accelerated program so that I can come back to the love of my life early mostly because her step-family did not like that I was poor and so made it really difficult for us to date normally. It was heartbreaking. They did not invite me to family events and holidays and acted jealous when we would spend time together. I spent the holidays alone or at a bar or with random friends only to see all the memories she was building with her family without me posted on FB. Heck, the kids even wondered why I wasn't around. I was concerned about the kids too because I was bared from being present these little girls would think I was another bad example of a man and I did everything in my power to show them good men exist. I genuinely liked them and thought they liked me too. Anyway, I came out here so that her life would be easier and I could get my finances together. I feel like that guy Heathcliff or Jay Gatsby hehehe. We had a lot of mutual friends and when we decided to end it for now until we get our careers together those mutual friends were cold to me. I can't contact her family to tell them how I'm doing or anything because she says that would be weird, they see me as just some old ex boyfriend now, which I am appalled and surprised because I went out of my way to help them with their business and try to be a part of their lives and show them I cared. I feel like I'm being disliked for just loving someone and being accountable and communicative to the people I intend on being family with. I'm angry for being mistreated and seeing her upset all the time. I just wanted to love these people. I can't even send her a birthday present unless I buy them all a present. Anyone ever see or experience anything like this? WTF? Can't people just fall in love and live in peace? Don't they see that I'm a giver and want the people I love to succeed and be happy too? What did I do wrong? What could I have done better? Have more money earlier?
For one thing, you could have broken up the wall of text. This is really hard to read.
Now, yes it is possible for relationships to work out regardless of finances. Unfortunately, it is better to have some kind of means to take care of yourself before you get into any close relationship.
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Something here just doesn't add up. Either that, or there's a lot of key information missing.
