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I'm new here and all, but I just wanted to take a moment to quickly ask a question, so that I can at least get some advice.
Me and this girl (we're both early twenties), worked part time at this job. We used to work together every now and then on a project we were assigned. I started liking her a bit over time, and it seemed to an extent she would react the same way (sometimes sitting real close to me when working on something, asking to meet privately in a quiet meeting room when I'd arrange meetings). She seemed to have some flirtatious tendencies, like laughing at things I said that weren't really funny, brushing her hair. But other times she would seem to react somewhat indifferently, and we'd often go many days without dealing with each other. More often than not, I’d be the one initiating contact with her. She’s an introvert though… so I’m not sure if this could have been attributed to shyness or lack of interest.
Well, when it became apparent that our part time contracts were coming to an end, I decided to ask her to dinner. She said yes (somewhat happily, without hesitation it seemed); so I asked if tomorrow would be good. But she said she was busy, but early next week would work. Well early next week comes around, and I message her asking if she's up to it. But it turns out on that same day she got a new job offer, and would be going on a trip in 2 days for a meeting (all this was definitely true). So she messaged back saying she needed to spend the night packing (not sure why she needed to do this 2 days in advance though). Her message said she'd definitely be happy to do something, but that we "may" need to wait, and that we could "possibly" do something when she returns. Now, I'm not sure if she was kindly brushing me off, or really meant it, but she did leave her phone number in her message (though she had also given her number to everyone else in the office in a farewell email).
The day before she left, I went over to her desk to simply congratulate her; not really expecting to follow up on any plans. She did say that the job offer was unexpected, and that "we should do something sometime." She didn't really seem enthusiastic though (she kind of said it quiet-like), but she did bring it up first. I basically said, "well we have each others numbers." I suggested something we could possibly do, and she said "that sounds cool," but again, didn't seem too enthusiastic. Now, I’m kind of an awkward guy, not really good with small talk. So I’m not sure if I’ve creeped her out a bit over the past week (since asking her out), and she's just sympathetic, wanting to kindly get me off her back.
I really don't know if she's just flaky, or is at least somewhat interested. The way I see it, there's a few options:
1.) Send her a text/email when she gets back. But I worry this might come across as too desperate
2.) Wait and see if she'll initiate contact with me when she returns, but run the risk of never seeing her again if she expects me to do this first (I’m leaning towards this option though)
3.) See her when she comes back to hold a farewell company party at some bar (which may or may not actually happen; and even if it did, I'm not eager to hang out with the other workers. Plus, under my circumstances, it would feel a little stalkerish if I went there just to see her… but I dunno)
It would almost be a relief if she just told me she wasn't interested. But as it stands, I'm mostly confused.
This was a lot longer than I expected it to be lol
Last edited by BlueBahama; 02-15-2013 at 03:18 PM..
Hm. Sounds a little lukewarm, to me. I'd wait until she's back, then call her (not text, call) and ask her how her new job went, will she be back awhile, chit chat. Then ask her if you can use the raincheck she'd given you for that dinner (keep it light). If it's, "oh, gee, I'm really busy until next week", move on. You shouldn't have to spend a month reeling someone in just for a dinner. There are other fish out there.
It's kinda like "The Y" or "Circle K" or "BJ's" or ...
Another thing I forgot to mention is that she was talking to someone on the phone when I went to congratulate her. I asked if it was a bad time, and she said no, and told the person she would call them back. Not sure if this means anything or if I'm just reading too much into it.
Anyways I may just grow a pair and call her. Haven't decided yet.
If I can impart one thing I learned to any guy who will listen...do not overanalyze what women do and if you like someone, invite them out to something like happy hour or a cool bar she would enjoy. It doesn't have to be a formal date (women aren't stupid, they know what we want) something where she will feel comfortable and you both can get to know each other.
Another thing I forgot to mention is that she was talking to someone on the phone when I went to congratulate her. I asked if it was a bad time, and she said no, and told the person she would call them back. Not sure if this means anything or if I'm just reading too much into it.
Anyways I may just grow a pair and call her. Haven't decided yet.
Do it. Too many wuss out on asking women out.
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