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Many people can have sex without love. Only the hyperreligious and hopeless romantics associate sex with a committed relationship.
If you have had a traumatic childhood event you should seek out a Counselor though.
I disagree with that. I won't have sex without love and I'm not hyper-religious or a hopeless romantic. It's more about trust with me. No way in hell I'm letting someone get that close (and getting naked) without having trust in the relationship. The only people that earn that level of trust are those that I have a very close relationship with.
I disagree with that. I won't have sex without love and I'm not hyper-religious or a hopeless romantic. It's more about trust with me. No way in hell I'm letting someone get that close (and getting naked) without having trust in the relationship. The only people that earn that level of trust are those that I have a very close relationship with.
Trust and love are mutually exclusive. I wouldn't have sex with someone I don't trust either but I don't have to feel madly in love with them.
OP, like others have said, you seem pretty normal.
However, if you're using sex as a way to cover up emotional problems or make you feel needed, there might be some issues there that could ruin a lot of great things for you.
Personally, I had some issues that made me find sex repulsive for a very long time. For the longest time, I felt uncomfortable when men paid any sort of attention to me, even if it was sweet and not overly sexual.
Counseling helped though. I went to the root of the problem and learned how to deal with what was really plaguing me.
I'd really like to know because I'm suffering from that syndrome and seem to disassociate the two. I blame the traumatic incident that happened to me as a child.
You fall in love. You may not have met the right woman yet.
But if you suspect childhood trauma, that should be addressed for its own sake. There are therapists these days who specialize in trauma. If you have unresolved childhood trauma, it's likely that it's affecting your life in other ways. It could also be affecting your health, subtly. It affects the nervous system.
Setting aside everyone's personal philosophies and/or moral/religious parameters, the point is that the OP simply needs to be dissuaded from the fact that he believes that there's something wrong with him for thinking that sex doesn't require love. There's nothing intrinsically wrong with him, he's not suffering some sort of bizarre "syndrome" because of a childhood traumatic event.
If he believes that this childhood event continues to affect him negatively then of course he should seek counseling to try and sort it out and put it into perspective but he's certainly not abnormal simply in thinking that sex can be separated from love. "What's love got to do with it - what's love but a second hand emotion?" - well you can look at it that way too!
I've had sex with women I dont love and I've had sex with women I do love. Many people, particularly men, see the two as being seperate. I guess I dont understand your problem.
you're comparing apples to oranges. both are good but neither is "wrong"
just don't string people along and be honest with them about why you want to have sex with them and no harm is done.
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