Procrastinating Husband driving me nuts! (date, wife, how to, girl)
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My husband is becoming such a procrastinator. The important things will get done, but there are things that he drags his feet on that drive me nuts. It took forever for us to get new flooring for the kitchen and bathrooms. The thing is, we live in an apartment, and the complex did the flooring for us! He had to talk about how we would have to move the pantry cabinet out of the kitchen and have the fridge and oven moved out, and the food the in the fridge would have to be lessened so it wouldn't go bad.
Well they plugged the fridge into an outlet when they moved it out of the kitchen temporarily. The food was put into a box so when the fridge was moved.
All he did was talk about how he had to figure out how things had to be moved out. I did help him with this stuff. I would have been able to help him more when I was unemployed. But when I started working again, I didn't have as much time, and he did most of moving the cabinet when I told him I would help him move.
We then have to wait to have the carpets cleaned after the floors were done. This still hasn't been done, because it's winter and the floors need to dry. We would need window open too. Again, the apartment complex has someone do the carpets for free when we renew the lease. I waited all fricking summer for him to get committed to setting a date for the floors. The same thing will happen for the carpets.
The past few years we have had a a taxman come to our apartment to do out taxes. We have to wait for our W2's to come in and then we initially make the call to the taxman's call desk who then call the tax guy who calls us back. We finally got his cell number. Hubby says to wait for him to call us back. Well we waited sometimes almost three weeks. I tell my husband to call him back to make sure we can get an appointment set. He says to wait. We finally get an appointment in March.
I hate sitting and waiting for my husband to make up his mind, get things done and so on.
The latest project he has undertaken was getting the mount for a new flatscreen tv. This one doesn't have the base mount, and we can't mount it on the wall since the walls are concrete. There is nothing I can do to help either until the actual moving of the old tv.
This is a complicated thing since he doesn't want to buy one, but have it made. I wanted to buy one on the internet, but he said not to. He has a friend who is is a metal worker, who had the frame done. Well the measurements my husband gave him were off. It took a while to get the frame/mount since the guy was doing this on his own time. This took MONTHS.
Now the frame and mount are at home, but I didn't know it. Hubby was sitting on it for a couple of weeks. He says he has to get some special screws to mount into the wood credenza. He says it is in case of earthquakes. The flatscreen weighs 60 pounds and could fall over. Um, ok I guess. He could have gotten the screws sooner right?
Today he started to drill holes in the metal frame since the measurements were off, and the drill's battery goes dead. He needed to charge it up before he used it. Duh.... He then says he's going to get the special screws and I wait for him to come back. I call him about an hour and half later because his mom calls asking for him and I tell him he's out. I called hubby to tell him his mom called and what was going on. He says he has been looking at three different hardware stores for the special screws. He finally found them, and then was having a beer. So no more more work is being done on this project today. Tomorrow is out since it's the 49er championship and he is going to watch the game with the guys. My husband gets off work early enough he can work on it during daylight hours but this hasn't happened.
My husband never used to be such a procrastinator. He was the kind of person who got things done. The more I ask about the status of things, the longer he takes. I am at my wits end.
How can I get him to get stuff done?
Wow, tough break. Procrastination can be a frustrating thing. Sometimes my wife and I procrastinate but only on minor things, and we do it together. The only thing I can suggest is that you try to do some of "his job" for him if you are able. Maybe he'll see you getting it done and snap out of it. It will also give you an opportunity to bring the subject up. Don't say, "Well I got tired of waiting for you to do it." That will probably put him on the defensive and signal an end to any useful dialogue. Rather state that you felt that the project had waited long enough and decided to do it on your own. Some on here will tell you that method is being passive aggressive. I consider it tactful. You know your husband, we don't so your judgment is really much better than any advice we can give you.
Remember when you're not really nagging him about something that some things are a pain in the ass to do and if they're not critical why make them a priority.
Sounds like some good advice. Although I am not very good with a drill and I can't mount the tv or take the other off by myself. I have done some of the projects on my own, like painting, etc.
I would love to be able to get inside his mind and see why he takes so long to make up his mind, or get his mind wrapped around a project to get it done.
My husband can procrastinate around here. He's also a bit of a control freak so I know how to work that angle. All it takes is me getting out the wrong tools for the job and saying "is this what I use to fix that???" and he usually takes over.
Makes him feels like he saved the day, task gets done...win-win situation
My husband can procrastinate around here. He's also a bit of a control freak so I know how to work that angle. All it takes is me getting out the wrong tools for the job and saying "is this what I use to fix that???" and he usually takes over.
Makes him feels like he saved the day, task gets done...win-win situation
Lol, I think if I picked up the drill he'd freak. The tv to move is too heavy for me. I tried before with the one upstairs. But is is a good idea with some stuff.
Wow, my husband is a bigamist and I didn't even know it . Look, I feel you. I'm an impatient girl and when I want something, I want it NOW. Being as I am this way and my husband is not I have learned to do things myself. I would've called the tax person myself to get the appointment. If the tax person didn't want to do things in a timely manner then I find another tax person. On heavy things and such, I think outside the box to get things done but I always figure it out somehow. I would've asked him the exact name and size of the special screws and hunted them down myself. As for the having a friend make the mount, I would've said no and bought it off the internet the way I wanted.
I used to get mad for having to wait but then I figured I can either wait for him or get things done when I want them done. If he complains about how I did it, I tell him too bad so sad and that he missed his window if he wanted it done his way. If it's something I absolutely can't figure out to do myself I'll casually mention I'm going to get some other male we know to do it and that usually lights a fire under his butt to get it done. He knows my personality and I know his. If I see signs I have to take lead to get something done I'll handle it. It can be tiring and annoying but at least it's done.
My husband can procrastinate around here. He's also a bit of a control freak so I know how to work that angle. All it takes is me getting out the wrong tools for the job and saying "is this what I use to fix that???" and he usually takes over.
Makes him feels like he saved the day, task gets done...win-win situation
Remember when you're not really nagging him about something that some things are a pain in the ass to do and if they're not critical why make them a priority.
I don't nag him constantly. I have waited two weeks before bringing it up again nicely. I know there are things to do that aren't fun or easy. I do it all the time. Like laundry, cleaning the house, etc. I just think if he agrees to do the project, to just get it done and over with. I know that if there is something he doesn't want to do, he gets stubborn and won't do it. He will eventually give in once I persuade him.
Lol, I think if I picked up the drill he'd freak. The tv to move is too heavy for me. I tried before with the one upstairs. But is is a good idea with some stuff.
Okay...get yourself some gloves, put on your workout clothes, get some rope, a skateboard and some pillows and start "warming up". When he asks "what in the world are you doing???" inform him you plan on moving the TV and hope you have all the right equip. to do the job...the rope to tie around the TV and tie to the light fixture (haha), the skateboard to put the TV on to actually move it and the pillow just in case it hits the floor.
If he doesn't get off his ass and help, then be prepared to follow through with the plan!
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. Look, I feel you. I'm an impatient girl and when I want something, I want it NOW. Being as I am this way and my husband is not I have learned to do things myself. I would've called the tax person myself to get the appointment. If the tax person didn't want to do things in a timely manner then I find another tax person. On heavy things and such, I think outside the box to get things done but I always figure it out somehow. I would've asked him the exact name and size of the special screws and hunted them down myself. As for the having a friend make the mount, I would've said no and bought it off the internet the way I wanted. 
