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I've been with my girlfriend for 5 glorious months. Each day better than the rest. It has truly been the best relationship I have had in many many years, and I am definitely seeing a future there. So of course something has to go wrong right? This is typical of my life. She's a lawyer and got offered a job with a law firm in another city. It's a major career advancement and a pretty significant boost in salary. I don't want her to go, but I know I have to let her go. It's what's best for her, and I don't want to be selfish and I don't want her to wonder "What if" a year down the road and resent me for holding her back. So I have been telling her 100% she should go for the job. My question is do you think this should necessarily be the end of the relationship though. I am reluctant to move with her after only 5 months, plus I absolutely hate the city she is going to. I am very hesitant to attempt a long distance relationship when it's like 2,000 miles apart. I would just hate to waste the time when it's likely it would eventually just fade out. So I am thinking that my only real option is to end the relationship
I had a similar situation happen to me when I was younger, except she wanted to go to school in Cali.
I knew I had to let her go because of what was happening back at home.
It's not easy to let someone that you care for leave you. I think that's what I would do and close this chapter. It may very well be the best decision you can make right now.
I've been with my girlfriend for 5 glorious months. Each day better than the rest. It has truly been the best relationship I have had in many many years, and I am definitely seeing a future there. So of course something has to go wrong right? This is typical of my life. She's a lawyer and got offered a job with a law firm in another city. It's a major career advancement and a pretty significant boost in salary. I don't want her to go, but I know I have to let her go. It's what's best for her, and I don't want to be selfish and I don't want her to wonder "What if" a year down the road and resent me for holding her back. So I have been telling her 100% she should go for the job. My question is do you think this should necessarily be the end of the relationship though. I am reluctant to move with her after only 5 months, plus I absolutely hate the city she is going to. I am very hesitant to attempt a long distance relationship when it's like 2,000 miles apart. I would just hate to waste the time when it's likely it would eventually just fade out. So I am thinking that my only real option is to end the relationship
Any thoughts or advice?
The fact that you assume things will fade out tells me that while you might love dating this person, she is not "the one" for you. It's been my experience that it won't "fade out" if it's the real deal, no matter what the distance.
Well that blows. A long term relationship certainly won't work especially once she meets some hot lawyer dude at work or some other guy in the new city. It is definitely a sucky situation, but have you talked to her about how you feel? Does she know how much the relationship means to you? Does she feel the same way? Has she expressed any hesitation to taking the job because she values the relationship as well?
There's quite a long distance between your city and her potential new city, yes?
Unless you have intentions to move to be with her, I would let her go. If you have no plan to be together, why drag it out? If there's a chance you would move with her or she might come back, then I say give it a go if you think you can handle it.
I've done long distance and it sucks. I will never do it again after that experience. I don't recommend it.
Oh man. How does she feel about leaving you? I wouldn't recommend moving in together already or telling her to stay. I guess this is where the 'if you love something set it free and if it comes back it's yours' saying comes from Maybe try long distance? I know it's not the greatest but it couldn't hurt to try it.
I guess I feel like if you really thought she was the right person - you wouldn't be asking this question. I'm not saying you don't have strong feelings for her - but I just think that if you truly thought she was the person you wanted to spend the rest of your life with - you'd try to make it work no matter what. I've had periods of long distance in all of my major relationships. The first few years of my relationship with my husband were long distance much of the time. He was on tour, I was on tour, we were both on tour. We tried to see each other at least once every 4 weeks or so. It was definitely worth it for us. In my other relationships - they didn't last but it wasn't because of the distance, I don't think.
I don't think I am built for long distance relationships.
I could very easily go with her though because 1.) The home that I own is being sub-leased right now 2.) I am staying with family so I don't really have a place of my own to worry about 3.) My job allows me to work from anywhere in the world that I want
I just hate the city she is going to.
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