I've been with my boyfriend for almost three years now. He is nothing but good to me. He loves me for who I am, doesn't care about what I look like, and is always there for me when I need him. These are the traits I absolutely adore about him!
There are, however, a lot of things I *don't* like about him...
He has no goals in life, he doesn't have his license, he's too lazy to shave his beard and mustache, he's too lazy to shower every day, he's got a messy hairstyle, he's overweight, he only works out now because I got him a gym membership and even then he only goes when I want him to go with me, he's never been to college, and doesn't plan on going (he's 21, and while I can agree college isn't for everyone, I wish he would try to get a better job than at a gas station...), he pisses and moans about everything, he farts a lot (I've asked him to stop in front of me because they clear the room and he farts ON me). The big one here is the sex. He's the only person I've ever slept with, but I don't enjoy it. He only wants one position, and we always have to be naked, in a bed, under the sheets. This might be personal, but I get horny a *lot*, and sex with him just won't cut it. I'm not a cheater, so I resort to getting myself off, but I just wish he would change. I've tried wearing sexy outfits to bed, but he makes me take them off because having sex = being totally naked to him (but he leaves his socks on...). It's just so boring with him... the same position, not trying anything new. I tried wearing heels to bed and he responded with "my mom always taught me that wearing shoes in bed isn't good".
Basically the sex is just physical for me... it means nothing to me emotionally, and I really wish it would... I've talked to him multiple times asking for him to change, and he says he will, but he hasn't. I'm leaving for boot camp in May, and even though I haven't been yet, just being with my recruiter has given me a new mentality on the world, like zero tolerance for bull**** and laziness.
I know I sound like a total *****, and maybe I am, but I want a guy who will be okay with me being in the Marines, someone who likes kinky sex, and someone who will love me (and only me) for who I am. Is that too much to ask for?
I have a ton of reasons to leave him, but I also don't want to hurt him... His mom and dad and siblings love me, they consider me part of the family, and I don't want them to look down on me for it. I worry about never finding another guy who will love my nearly non-existent chest.
It would hurt me to leave him, but I also think that in the long run, it would be better for myself that way he's not tying me back. I just don't know what to do... Can someone please help?