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I don't know whether or not the following is a normal thing or not. I put up what I guess is a very attractive? picture of me on OkCupid when I joined up last week, or maybe the following happens to most new guys on the singles sites but in one week, I had over 150 women click on my picture and read my profile with a small number coming back more than once to click my picture and read my profile.
Only trouble is that only a few actually wrote to me afterwards.
I was wondering if those women are expecting me to write first.
If a woman is interested, does she write a few words to the man? Or are we still trapped in a time where its still somehow concerned "unfeminine" for the woman to make the first advance beyond looking at the man. You know, maids in waiting and all that (hopefully) archaic history channel (I HOPE) junk.
Some will write if truly interested, some expect a man to make the first move. If someone visits several times, they may be hoping to attract your attention and hope you'll initiate contact. Of course, it could just be morbid fascination and they'll reject you if you write - or just ignore you. Be prepared for rejection, handle it well, don't be offended, and just write another. If not interested in someone who contacts you, politely say so and move on.
I'm on POF and I get about 10 messages a day. It doesn't matter.
One thing I've noticed is that most of the attractive girls write well thought out messages, and the ugly ones send one word messages like "hi". I think it has to do with their confidence levels. I rarely will respond to lame messages unless theyre extremely attractive. I give the hot ones an extra chance, but if they don't write anything good I move on to the next.
From my experience, the man goes first. If you find any of these women interesting, write them an email specifically for them that ,if possible, demonstrates you've read their profile. Good luck.
I was wondering if those women are expecting me to write first.
If a woman is interested, does she write a few words to the man? Or are we still trapped in a time where its still somehow concerned "unfeminine" for the woman to make the first advance beyond looking at the man. You know, maids in waiting and all that (hopefully) archaic history channel (I HOPE) junk.
What's the story?
Just depends on the woman. If she's the type that expects you to be the initiator in real-life situations then she probably never initiates on a dating site. Some of them will even say it in their profile — directly or indirectly — that they want you to initiate contact first. When I had a profile up I received messages from women all across the spectrum, although the more attractive ones used the wink/meet me/some other feature to get my attention.
I never wrote to men first, but I would sometimes send a wink, which IMO is the modern equivalent of dropping my hanky. I think it's the guy's job to lead, but that's me. If 100 people here say the woman should write first, does that mean you'll not write anyone? If you find someone who looked at your profile attractive, why not just write regardless, what do you have to lose?
I never wrote to men first, but I would sometimes send a wink, which IMO is the modern equivalent of dropping my hanky. I think it's the guy's job to lead, but that's me. If 100 people here say the woman should write first, does that mean you'll not write anyone? If you find someone who looked at your profile attractive, why not just write regardless, what do you have to lose?
OkCupid doesn't have a wink/flirt function but to answer your question and I'm NOT looking for advice or any help about it, I'm rejection phobic to the nth degree.
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