Marriage - I don't get this... (girl, gay, prenup, spouse)
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Because our society has become so anti marriage due to low morals. Yes that is blunt but so many people think "it's just a piece of paper" or "I don't need marriage to have kids" and look where it has gotten us, a society full of societal issues. Look at how people are attacked because they think having kids without marriage is a problem because we are supposed to accept anything in society.
I still think "it's just a piece of paper", always have...and I've always felt I didn't need marriage to have kids, but 33 years ago I DID get married, more I think to please the parents than anything else...I don't think morals play so much into this as the fact that statistics show that half of all marriages end in divorce, which can cost people alot of heartache as well as money. Maybe it's a fear of that, I don't really know, but like others have said it doesn't really matter one way or the other..You either love and stay with your partner or you don't...and "marriage" can't change that.
I still think "it's just a piece of paper", always have
A PROMISE between two people isn't "just a piece of paper", it's a PROMISE to BUILD SOMETHING TOGETHER.
How about your rent contract? Is that "just a piece of paper"? How about the check at a restaurant?
Now, the fact that what the government mislabels as a "marriage" certificate doesn't mean jack squat doesn't change the first fact (listed above, about a promise). It just means that there is no easy way to create the legally enforceable promise. However, with a little work, you could have created a pre-nup that would spell out and create a promise, however enforceable or not.
Oh, and that ain't even the half of it! Alinony is peculiar in law in that it has very little legal reasoning behind it despite how common it's become. I mean really, what's the reason? Because the wife was "used to" that lifestyle? So what? Part of marriage is getting a better lifestyle.
I find the concept outright invalid. The whole point of marriage is two people mixing their lives together to get certain things, and one common thing is money, which some people consider before-hand and value. Why should she (or he, in the rarer cases) still be entitled to still get money/lifestyle when she (again, or he, but 70% of divorces are initiated by women) is the one who didn't want to be married anymore?
It'd be like rental contracts being able to be broken by the landlord whenevr the hell he wanted, and to still keep that month's rent. Nobody would be renting, and same is happening with marriage. Only reason people keep getting married is it's a strong cultural institution
I can sort of understand the old concept, because women back then had no resources and no skills. No though how many women (or rarer men)are stay at home parents forever? not many and those that are usually only do so a few years. For certain rare cases, like a spouse helped put the other through school so they became successful or the ones who stayed at home to raise kids (I don't consider otherwise a valid reason to stay at home)then I understand getting limited alimony while better their lives (like getting a job or going back to school). Otherwise, no and even these cases shouldn't be a set standard because I know several people who just didn't want to work, their spouses got tired of them and then they got alimony.
Personally for me if I married a wealthy man (not likely but just using it for example)and we divorced why should I be entitled to his money? Same thing opposite.
Years ago I dated a man who was paying alimony to his ex on top of child support (which he should be paying)and mortgage. He resented the fact that he was spending 60% of his money to an ex who refused to work. She could have been working but used the fact that she was a stay at home mom to justify not working. I have no issues with someone staying at home but if it causes someone stress then no it's not acceptable.
If people want to get married then that's fine. It's the same if someone told me they wanted to go play in traffic. Please do and don't cry to me if you suffer because of your choice. I hate the institution and the idea that I am dead as an individual. I'm all for people doing what they please no matter stupid the idea is to me. I'm better than that and I deserve better than being a married individual.
But see - this is what I don't get. I understand that marriage isn't for you. I don't think I'm better than you because I'm married. Why do you think you are better than me because you aren't?
A PROMISE between two people isn't "just a piece of paper", it's a PROMISE to BUILD SOMETHING TOGETHER.
How about your rent contract? Is that "just a piece of paper"? How about the check at a restaurant?
Now, the fact that what the government mislabels as a "marriage" certificate doesn't mean jack squat doesn't change the first fact (listed above, about a promise). It just means that there is no easy way to create the legally enforceable promise. However, with a little work, you could have created a pre-nup that would spell out and create a promise, however enforceable or not.
A promise is a promise, no paper needed. That paper doesn't mean it's going to last...and I'm talking marriages, not bills...I didn't need a "pre-nup" as neither of us had anything when we first met 38 years ago..... what we have now, we aquired together ,and neither of us now ,have the desire to end our lives together.
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