Marriage - I don't get this... (guys, older, American, friends)
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You can write whatever the hell you want. I know that in most places it won't be enforceable, but you just might get a judge who will enforce it. It is only reasonable, hold people to what they promise.
What I envision is a pre-nup that says all the moral stuff, and possibly even leaves out the possibility of divorce (like, if you're catholic, me, I'd go for fault-only), but acknowledges that the realm of man, i.e. law, in our current situation, may not enforce this, and THEN in THAT CASE, the contract would revert a severability clause (or a few of them), which then spells out a dryer, bones-only pre nup that only prevents alimony and partitioning of assets however you want it
Ultimately, my proposal is that marriage laws be changed to be like this, and make people's contracts enforceable. This solves the gay-marriage thing, because it's just contracts (though I wouldn't try to pass the law like that, I'd market it as barring gay marriage at first, but there'd be a severability clause in the case of a finding of unconstituionality).
The rise in no fault divorces caused a lot of the problems today as well. Too many people get bored with people then dump them. I would like to see a situation where divorce is only used for extreme cases like abuse and cheating not this whole "I'm no longer in love".
Not technically accurate. It's just joint filing, and a few other legal quirks.
If you're an individualist, like of the Randian/Libertarian stripe, I can understand that. But marriage is something you CHOOSE to take, and while you're no longer your ultimate priority, that's still mostly just a philosophical technicality. If you love your wife and your kids you're going to be very happy.
It is accurate. It's considered a legal union hence the automatic rights of certain things to married couples such as visitation or filing for taxes jointly. So yes you lose your individuality legally.
Well, I was trying to discuss something with you - but I'll let it be if you are going to start acting like that. Like I said - I wasn't trying to convince you to get married. I don't base my individuality on how the government sees me - so that doesn't really have any affect on me.
What is there to discuss honestly? I was correct when I said marriage isn't about individuality. It's a legal union. It's about bringing two together not about being an individual.
I am better than the married life. I'm better than having to have a dark cloud hanging over my head and hoping and praying I don't screw up or I will pay for it. I'm better than the idea of the government only seeing me as one half of a person. I don't want someone who could do certain things in my name. Marriage just opens the door to the other person to ruin your life. If they don't then don't but the institution itself opens so many doors for your spouse to cut you down if they want to for any reason. I'm better than having to prove my commitment (by killing half of myself) to anyone when I live it everyday.
Another "rock" reference : Pick up a rock you can carry yourself because if rely on someone else helping you pick up a heavier rock they may drop it on you at anytime.
What is there to discuss honestly? I was correct when I said marriage isn't about individuality. It's a legal union. It's about bringing two together not about being an individual.
Then that's all you needed to say. I understand that this is how you see things. It's not how I see things. It just would have been nice to keep things nice - but I understand that that's not your style!
Quote:
Originally Posted by lol-its-good4U
Another "rock" reference : Pick up a rock you can carry yourself because if rely on someone else helping you pick up a heavier rock they may drop it on you at anytime.
But that's about fear. And I don't really see that as a good analogy because there isn't any reward in carrying a rock. Whoopee. You've carried a rock. I can see this being applied to buying a house or something - where there is a benefit involved.
But that's about fear. And I don't really see that as a good analogy because there isn't any reward in carrying a rock. Whoopee. You've carried a rock. I can see this being applied to buying a house or something - where there is a benefit involved.
One cannot control others actions and in marriage to where one signs the marriage license which is a "contract" with the state, "the hammer" may fall at any time for either profit or otherwise and someone normally suffers more often than not - just the reality of things is how I see it.
Yes, in this mostly "me-me-me" society there's cause for concern and many are great actors/actresses who can hide "their bads" until potentially a set time that the "bads" shows its ugly head.
Thank yourself for your great marriage and family as the majority can't say the same who are or want to be married. The rest of us go our own way.
Then that's all you needed to say. I understand that this is how you see things. It's not how I see things. It just would have been nice to keep things nice - but I understand that that's not your style!
I wasn't being nice? Ok then..... I don't recall insulting you.
One cannot control others actions and in marriage to where one signs the marriage license which is a "contract" with the state, "the hammer" may fall at any time for either profit or otherwise and someone normally suffers more often than not - just the reality of things is how I see it.
Yes, in this mostly "me-me-me" society there's cause for concern and many are great actors/actresses who can hide "their bads" until potentially a set time that the "bads" shows its ugly head.
Thank yourself for your great marriage and family as the majority can't say the same who are or want to be married. The rest of us go our own way.
Well, I'm a good actress onstage and a horrible one offstage!
I am so thankful for my husband and my son. And I let them know every single day - even though my son doesn't really comprehend what I'm saying yet! And like I said in my original post - I understand why not everyone wants to get married. I just don't understand being so anti-marriage that you would tell other people that they shouldn't or that there is something wrong with them because they did.
I have been married most my life,well from the time I was 17.Was married first time for 11 years got involved in swinging,I wanted to quit she didn't,oh this wasn't our only problem but I left.Remarried six months later been married 30 years.We almost split 19 years ago,I did move out and lived with another woman a few months,then went back,things couldn't be better since.
But I enjoy being married getting old with someone I care for.
So here's what I don't get. Why are so many people so anti-marriage to the point that they think that nobody should ever get married and they can't wait for it to die out (which I highly doubt it will). I understand not wanting to get married - I really do. We all want different things out of life. But while I don't think that EVERYONE should get married - I don't understand why some people seem to think that NOBODY should get married. Why not just do what's best for you and let others do what's best for them? Some people really love being married. I don't see what the big deal is. Can anyone explain all the hatred about something that is not mandatory?
A lot of people who hate marriage are stuck in bad marriages or have suffered through painful divorces. They overgeneralize from their own experiences.
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: Pick up a rock you can carry yourself because if rely on someone else helping you pick up a heavier rock they may drop it on you at anytime.
I can see this being applied to buying a house or something - where there is a benefit involved.