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First off he's online, I know he is who he says he is, and I don't need any bashing because he's over the internet.
I met him on a forum for musicians. He's very serious about his music, and I think it's very admirable. I've known him for about a month, and I recently started to develop a crush on him. I was too shy to admit myself, so my friend Trina told him for me. She also mentioned dating but he said I'd have to add him on MSN first. So I did, but the conversations are a little one-sided, I feel like I'm putting more of an effort, while he is responding, but he doesn't really seem into it? He's very serious on the musician forum, but talking him on MSN, he's very pleasant and always being like "I'm having a splendid day ^________^". I had mentioned to him being busy with school, he had also mentioned being busy with a lot of clients for music. I talked to Trina about wondering if he's not interested, and she said he's always busy doing stuff, and he's like that with her sometimes he won't even respond to her, and not to worry. I originally thought he might be shy, but she said that isn't the case. I want to get to know him better, but it's hard you know?
Is there any way I could get to know him better, or bring up stuff to get him more into the conversation? I'm always starting the convos, and it's really hard when I'm incredibly shy.
It sounds like he's not really interested in getting to know you. If the conversations in IM are one sided imagine how they would be in real life. I think you should give this one a big miss.
find a way to share a meal together. people tend to open up a bit when they are having lunch, dinner, coffee. by the way, it sounds like he is still trying to figure out if you guys have any chemistry/spark so you may end up just being friends. guys tend to be a little more assertive when they are into you. good luck
find a way to share a meal together. people tend to open up a bit when they are having lunch, dinner, coffee. by the way, it sounds like he is still trying to figure out if you guys have any chemistry/spark so you may end up just being friends. guys tend to be a little more assertive when they are into you. good luck
She can't even engage him in an online conversation, how do you propose she "find a way to share a meal together"?
I thought the big deal about IM and FB etc is improved communication. They seem to have the opposite effect.
OP - IM is a famously inefficient way to get to know somebody. You have to be in their physical presence to gauge nuance and body language.
Having said that, if you're interested in him with zero encouragement, and he's a muso, you can guarantee that other girls have been interested in him with zero encouragement too. You're not the first and you probably won't be the last doe-eyed groupie the guy attracts.
You can either make yourself known IRL to him, or move on. The first option calls for a non-shy approach so I would go for the second if I were you.
You sound very young, there will be another crush along in a minute. Hopefully one that reciprocates your feelings.
It sounds like he's not really interested in getting to know you. If the conversations in IM are one sided imagine how they would be in real life. I think you should give this one a big miss.
You make a good point, but I tend to find people are more interested in talking to me when it comes to video chats, presumably because I'm a female on the inter webs.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Diamonds&pearls
Are young people today really this clueless?
I thought the big deal about IM and FB etc is improved communication. They seem to have the opposite effect.
OP - IM is a famously inefficient way to get to know somebody. You have to be in their physical presence to gauge nuance and body language.
Having said that, if you're interested in him with zero encouragement, and he's a muso, you can guarantee that other girls have been interested in him with zero encouragement too. You're not the first and you probably won't be the last doe-eyed groupie the guy attracts.
You can either make yourself known IRL to him, or move on. The first option calls for a non-shy approach so I would go for the second if I were you.
You sound very young, there will be another crush along in a minute. Hopefully one that reciprocates your feelings.
I am indeed young! But I find myself not really developing crushes that often :/
But thanks for the help everyone, much appreciated ^__^
At this point you are just playing around with YOUR FEELINGS and getting to know them, the guy is just an excuse. Nothing is going to come of this but if he engages you online just engage him back. It's good practice but don't expect anything since you are young and in a different country you can't possibly date. This doesn't have to be an either/or issue and it isn't urgent by any stretch of the imagination.
At this point you are just playing around with YOUR FEELINGS and getting to know them, the guy is just an excuse. Nothing is going to come of this but if he engages you online just engage him back. It's good practice but don't expect anything since you are young and in a different country you can't possibly date. This doesn't have to be an either/or issue and it isn't urgent by any stretch of the imagination.
How am I playing around with my feelings? And how is he an excuse? My sister dated a guy from Australia, and they're married. I'm not even that young, I'm 23 -___-
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