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This is something I've noticed at work and wonder if anybody else has experienced it. At work, my job involves a great deal of interacting with customers. Whenever I interact with customers, Im always polite, professional, and courteous, and make small talk here and there. I speak to both men and women the same way. However, I've noticed that some women, especially really good looking ones, seem to assume that I'm flirting with them and respond negatively. For example, I had a woman the other day give me a sour look and said, "I'm not interested so don't bother asking for my number". The only thing I had said to her outside the usual transactional customer service conversation was "wow it's really nice out today isn't it?". I thought of this because of my other thread about women calling men creeps over seemingly normal behavior because they weren't attracted to those men, and it makes me more hesitant to display any type of common courtesy towards women, like holding a door or even smiling when talking to them because it'll be perceived as an unwanted sexual advance. Your thoughts?
This is something I've noticed at work and wonder if anybody else has experienced it. At work, my job involves a great deal of interacting with customers. Whenever I interact with customers, Im always polite, professional, and courteous, and make small talk here and there. I speak to both men and women the same way. However, I've noticed that some women, especially really good looking ones, seem to assume that I'm flirting with them and respond negatively. For example, I had a woman the other day give me a sour look and said, "I'm not interested so don't bother asking for my number". The only thing I had said to her outside the usual transactional customer service conversation was "wow it's really nice out today isn't it?". I thought of this because of my other thread about women calling men creeps over seemingly normal behavior because they weren't attracted to those men, and it makes me more hesitant to display any type of common courtesy towards women, like holding a door or even smiling when talking to them because it'll be perceived as an unwanted sexual advance. Your thoughts?
I've had many jobs interacting with customers and I've never once had a female customer turn me down when I wasn't hitting on them.
You said "Really good looking women assume I'm flirting with them." It sounds like you actually ARE interested in them and are subcommunicating that in some way.
I've had many jobs interacting with customers and I've never once had a female customer turn me down when I wasn't hitting on them.
You said "Really good looking women assume I'm flirting with them." It sounds like you actually ARE interested in them and are subcommunicating that in some way.
No subtext here, I'm very self aware of my body language and I'm definitely not displaying anything beyond common courtesy.
No subtext here, I'm very self aware of my body language and I'm definitely not displaying anything beyond common courtesy.
You might as well then.
I used to hit on customers constantly when I worked in retail (didn't care about the job so I just did whatever I wanted). It was hit or miss, but worth it.
I had a woman the other day give me a sour look and said, "I'm not interested so don't bother asking for my number". The only thing I had said to her outside the usual transactional customer service conversation was "wow it's really nice out today isn't it?".
This woman is a boor. She assumes a lot. Even if she thought you were interested (and she wasn't), someone with good manners would at least give the other person a chance to voice their interest. Sheesh! How arrogant.
A good response to her comment would have been, "What makes you think I was going to?" And then let her have it about her her haughty assumption.
Quote:
Originally Posted by gamma19
I thought of this because of my other thread about women calling men creeps over seemingly normal behavior because they weren't attracted to those men, and it makes me more hesitant to display any type of common courtesy towards women, like holding a door or even smiling when talking to them because it'll be perceived as an unwanted sexual advance.
Please don't punish all women for the actions of one fool. You will continue to meet silly/rude/arrogant people all your life. It's better to let their actions roll off your back, rather than allowing them to change who you are. They are who they are, and there's nothing that anyone can do about that. However, you have a choice as to who you are and how you interact with others.
This woman is a boor. She assumes a lot. Even if she thought you were interested (and she wasn't), someone with good manners would at least give the other person a chance to voice their interest. Sheesh! How arrogant.
A good response to her comment would have been, "What makes you think I was going to?" And then let her have it about her her haughty assumption.
Please don't punish all women for the actions of one fool. You will continue to meet silly/rude/arrogant people all your life. It's better to let their actions roll off your back, rather than allowing them to change who you are. They are who they are, and there's nothing that anyone can do about that. However, you have a choice as to who you are and how you interact with others.
Agreed.
And yeah, goes back to the thread about creepy guys.
This woman is a boor. She assumes a lot. Even if she thought you were interested (and she wasn't), someone with good manners would at least give the other person a chance to voice their interest. Sheesh! How arrogant.
A good response to her comment would have been, "What makes you think I was going to?" And then let her have it about her her haughty assumption.
Please don't punish all women for the actions of one fool. You will continue to meet silly/rude/arrogant people all your life. It's better to let their actions roll off your back, rather than allowing them to change who you are. They are who they are, and there's nothing that anyone can do about that. However, you have a choice as to who you are and how you interact with others.
No kidding. In his shoes, I might even have said, "Don't worry. I wasn't going to."
Let her take that as she will. What a stuck up little snot.
I used to have trouble telling these two things apart until I decided to assume that it's always just friendliness/politeness/common courtesy until it's stated otherwise.
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