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Have you ever tried to date a big girl/big guy based off of personality? If your answer is yes, then you're just like me. Back in my early twenties I tried to date a big girl off of her personality. The thing about her was that she was big and very unattractive. I've dated her purely based off her personality. She felt very self-conscious about her looks. She felt like I looked better than her. The one thing I think men and women really need to understand, no one in life is going to be with you because you simply exist. We all have to do things in life to make our self-more attractive to the opposite sex. Hell if it was not for women I wouldn’t, take a bath, have a job, move out of my mammas basement, go to the GYM or eat healthy. If I didn't do most of them things, do you think anyone would be with me? I think as a society yes some people can be overly superficial; they are the people you skip over. But were all biologically wired a certain way, and no matter how bad it may look or may not look, it is what it is. And at the end of the day, nothing's going to change. So ladies and gentleman, improve what you can about to self, politically correct answers are not going to change a damn thing.
I dated a big guy because he is a HUMAN BEING, first and foremost, just like the rest of the people of the world. He has good personality, smells good, and if he is fit, I can tell he can be hot. I like his face I categorized it as good looking. He planned to get serious with me. I would have said yes if I wasn't dating my husband now at the same time.
It wasn't coz my husband was more fit than him. He just didn't made me feel special and taken care of and important like my husband. Plus my husband made me feel so comfortable with him.
Sure, I did go out with a big guy for awhile. The problem was, we went to an amusement park, he could not go on rides. He never wanted to do the things I liked, like cross country skiing or biking, one time we went on a short hike, he was red and sweating within 500 feet of the car. All he really liked to do was cook and go out to eat. I gained 15 pounds while dating him, I went on a diet, and he complained I was "no fun", for not wanting to split a huge pizza, the "heart attack special". He was a nice guy, but also very insecure. I ended it when I realized I was not doing the things I liked any more because he just could not or would not do them.
Wieght is one thing, but the rest of the picture is the real issue. He just was not active enough for me.
My attraction for overweight women has been well documented here. I suppose if I like big girls I can't say that I ever dated one solely because of her personality. I have never dated a woman to whom I did not feel some level of intense physical attraction. For me physical attraction was always the first hurdle to clear. If I was attracted to her and it was mutual, then the personalities came into play.
Common interests are important too. As a physically active guy I knew there were some activities I did regularly that my partners would be unable to do eith me. But every woman I've ever dated also had interests she pursued without me, so this was never a problem. Instead of focussing on the things we couldn't or wouldn't do together we foccussed on those things we could do together. Which usually involved a need for privacy...
I didn't try to date heavier guys, I did date a heavier guys. And it wasn't because I was trying to force myself - it was because I wanted to. And I found them attractive - not unattractive.
Look - we all have preferences. Your preference is for thin women. But don't assume that your preferences are everyone else's preferences, too. When I find someone's personality attractive and sexy, oftentimes I also find their appearance attractive and sexy even if I didn't at first glance.
yea my last boyfriend was fat. we dated for 2 years. he was really funny which won me over, but he had other personality/life issues as well and didn't treat me that well so i ended it. the overweightness by itself wasn't that big of a deal, but unfortunately being overweight is often a reflection of one's lifestyle and personality- it definitely was in his case. he never wanted to do anything active, took the elevator up one flight of stairs, only ate fast food, wouldn't help with anything around the house, was lzy and unambitious in general, etc. all of that was definitely a turn off. my boyfriend now is in shape and i have to admit its definitely sooo much better. its so nice to actually be attracted to his body, too.
I don't discriminate against anybody, tall, short, thin, fat. Hey, it is their lives and their life style, not mine. It is none of my businesses.
The problem with ALL bigger guys in my life is that they complain all day long without doing a darn thing to change the way they look. I've never met a big guy in my life who is happy with the way he looks, yet they never had a darn problem stuffing their mouths with very unhealthy food.
It leads me to wonder, do they have any ambition in life? Do they have any discipline? One of the greatest personality traits for anybody to achieve greatness in life is discipline and consistency. If the big man is happy without lying to him or other people, that is one thing. If the big man is unhappy and expects others to accept HIM when he cannot even accept himself. He will not be attractive to me.
I have my preference. I like guy who is over 5'11" with six pack, but if he is a jerk, it would still be a turn off. The end of day, I am looking for somebody with the total package. You don't have to settle for a great pesonality when you find his look repulsive. I am more attracted to swimers' type of body, but won't judge anybody else if they found bigger dudes to be physically MORE attractive. As long as they don't call me shallow, we are all good.
Last edited by lilyflower3191981; 03-12-2013 at 08:22 AM..
A couple of comments:
1. Self-confidence (and lack thereof) comes in all types of packages. OP it sounds like you ran into an insecure woman
2. Attractiveness is relative. My "super hot" may not even rate on your scale.
3. We are very straight centric on this board. This topic isn't limited to "straight" relationships, any type of couple can have this issue.
I do think it is really strange there is an implicit assumption that everything in life is related to attracting the opposite sex.
Sure, I did go out with a big guy for awhile. The problem was, we went to an amusement park, he could not go on rides. He never wanted to do the things I liked, like cross country skiing or biking, one time we went on a short hike, he was red and sweating within 500 feet of the car. All he really liked to do was cook and go out to eat. I gained 15 pounds while dating him, I went on a diet, and he complained I was "no fun", for not wanting to split a huge pizza, the "heart attack special". He was a nice guy, but also very insecure. I ended it when I realized I was not doing the things I liked any more because he just could not or would not do them.
Wieght is one thing, but the rest of the picture is the real issue. He just was not active enough for me.
I'm no Olympic athlete, but these ^^^^ are the issues that would concern me, as well. Fat or thin, whatever the guy weighs, I'd like someone who can keep up with me. Also, I don't want to hear any complaining--"I'm tired, it's hot, my legs hurt." It irritates me when anyone does it, regardless of weight. If you don't want to go hiking/biking etc., then don't go. But if you do go, then don't whine about it and take all the fun out of it for me.
Last edited by Lilac110; 03-12-2013 at 10:38 AM..
Reason: type much?
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Have you ever tried to date a big girl/big guy based off of personality? If your answer is yes, then you're just like me. Back in my early twenties I tried to date a big girl off of her personality. The thing about her was that she was big and very unattractive. I've dated her purely based off her personality. She felt very self-conscious about her looks. She felt like I looked better than her. The one thing I think men and women really need to understand, no one in life is going to be with you because you simply exist. We all have to do things in life to make our self-more attractive to the opposite sex. Hell if it was not for women I wouldn’t, take a bath, have a job, move out of my mammas basement, go to the GYM or eat healthy. If I didn't do most of them things, do you think anyone would be with me? I think as a society yes some people can be overly superficial; they are the people you skip over. But were all biologically wired a certain way, and no matter how bad it may look or may not look, it is what it is. And at the end of the day, nothing's going to change. So ladies and gentleman, improve what you can about to self, politically correct answers are not going to change a damn thing. 
