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I had a guy I met online sent me flowers to my address, when asked how did he find where I live, he said, "I just know, I am a psychic." It is scary to say the least.
Awww... I am sure that was just a misspelling. I bet he meant to tell you he was "psychotic."
There would be no reason to be upset because there is no way for you to find out short of the person telling you they did it. Sure, they could let some clues out, but it would only cause you to wonder.
I have mixed feelings about it, especially after a friend of ours dated an ex-con sociopath, who basically stole from her, lied to her, blamed her for all of his problems and changed his name to avoid child support, to name a few. Unfortunately, she knew some of this going in, not from a background check, and still pursued the relationship.
If I was single and dating online, I wouldn't do a background check. However, I wouldn't hold it against a female to do it to protect herself from the above.
Bolded statement just prove my point. A background check does not really give out information about people's characters. She ignored the red flags and still pursued the relationship.
I've told a person online, "If you want to know anything about me, anything at all, just ask me." I think my words will be good enough. If he does not trust me, and thinks he needs a background check to be reassured, then maybe he is NOT the one for ME.
Yes, I would be offended. If you want to know something about me, just ask and I will share! To run a background check when they don't know me....is a bit creepy and stalkerish.
I had a woman do a background check on me without my knowledge, which I was offended at. I think what I felt disturbing is that she was not upfront about it until after the fact. We had known each other for a period of time by this point, so it wasn't like a blind first date situation where she wanted to be sure she wasn't going out with a convicted fellon or something of the sort.
It only came out when she asked me about something that sounded like she knew too much, but had the story wrong. Questioning her on it she admitted the the background check. I found it offensive more so because it was a bit creepy in the moment, her knowing details I had not shared, and which were not actually about me.
It wasn't a deal breaker or anything either. We are married now. Just, maybe, an eye opener for me as much as anything.
Back when I did online dating and was naive, someone actually did this to me and told me they did. I had only spoken with him one time on the phone and when he asked for a date, he wanted to pick me up from my house but I told him I'd drive and meet him there. I guess he was miffed about this and did a background check on me. Right before the date, we spoke and he informed me of my address. I asked how he knew that and he told me that he did a check on me. I didn't know what to think at that moment, I think I was in shock (and freaked out). I still went on the date with him, because I kept telling myself in my mind that it was my fault for telling him my last name and just to see what his deal was, but I think it goes without saying that there was no connection there.
... before they even met you. Would you be offended?
I personally have nothing to hide. But there are certain things I definitely feel uncomfortable sharing with others, at least not before first date. I did a quick google search on myself using my full name. My youtube channel showed up, the online memorial service website I created for my loved one who died by suicide showed up. My art gallery showed up.
The most disturbing thing is that if I pay $19.99,. My whole history will show up on the internet. Where I went to school, where I opened a bank account. Obviously, what I consider to be public record and what others believe to be public records are quite different. I want my privacy to be protected at least to certain degree!!!!
My questions are
A. If my potential date did a background check on me before meeting me in person, does it mean he was overly suspicious or he was just being careful.
B. If he doesn't trust me for whatever the reasons, why bother meeting me in person. Does privacy mean anything anymore or everybody just has to accept the fact that we are open books to everybody on the internet nowadays.
share insights and thoughts please
WHOOPS! I wrote the answer below before double-checking your OP. If he did those things before even meeting me, yes, I'd be annoyed and creeped out. I'd also wonder what kind of lunatics he'd met in the past and how bad his judgment in people is if he felt compelled to do that to a perfect stranger.
But if we'd been on a few dates, criminal, legal, or marital history wouldn't bother me. I'm sure it's been done.
Finances? He wouldn't have a right to that, and if he abused his position at his job to try to dig into it, I'd have an issue with that and I'd alert his employer about what he's doing. Same goes for health history, if, say, he worked in one of the local health systems where I might have been a patient.
Obviously it seems more creepy if you are a woman, and a guy is doing a background check on you. As a guy I would not be the least bit offended at a women doing a background check on me. As a matter of fact I would hope my daughters would do that before going out with any guy. You just never know about people these days.
I find it hilarious that people say "they can just ask me I won't lie". Well obviously if no one lied there would be no reason for background checks to exist in the first place.
Obviously it seems more creepy if you are a woman, and a guy is doing a background check on you. As a guy I would not be the least bit offended at a women doing a background check on me. As a matter of fact I would hope my daughters would do that before going out with any guy. You just never know about people these days.
I find it hilarious that people say "they can just ask me I won't lie". Well obviously if no one lied there would be no reason for background checks to exist in the first place.
*smh* Not for dates. I feel there has to be some level of trust prior. But that's just me and how I go about my selection process. *shrugs*
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I did a quick google search on myself using my full name. My youtube channel showed up, the online memorial service website I created for my loved one who died by suicide showed up. My art gallery showed up. 
Obviously, what I consider to be public record and what others believe to be public records are quite different. I want my privacy to be protected at least to certain degree!!!!
