Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
As someone in their late 30's who unfortunately (due to work and other factors which I'm sure all of you are sick of hearing about) is inexperienced in dating and relationships, I have found that single people my age without kids are relatively jaded. It probably doesn't help that I live in a major city where the whole mentality is "I'm a go-getter so get out of my way."
Most of the women I have met have wanted only the best and if you're not it, then they have no time for you. Dates have pretty much seemed like competitive tests where they're trying to see whether I can keep up with them. Do my accomplishments, bank account, and experiences exceed their own? If so, then I can have the "privilege" of dating them. This type of person is not someone whom I want to be the mother of my kids. But I guess I have to move to somewhere else to find what I'm looking for. Or maybe that type of person no longer exists in the present day at least in their late 30s after being worn down by relationship difficulties.
I've always liked older men, I don't find younger men to be attractive at all whatsoever.
I don't lie about my age on my dating site profiles or in real life, but I don't like to be approached by younger men.
I always put 3191981 on mly dating site profile as a part of my user name, this way, people "assume" I am actually older. My parents got married on March 19th 1981. Putting this date on my user name, increase my chance of getting an older man!!!
Jaded? well it happens to older men as well. Men in their late 30s are very particular about what they are looking for in their mates. They don't waste their time.
I've found so many good older men on dating site or in real life. They are polite, successful, sexy, handsome, full of sex appeals.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,700 posts, read 41,748,461 times
Reputation: 41381
Quote:
Originally Posted by mrskay662000
I know! The "DMV" confuses me. The best I can come up with with DC/Maryland/Virginia.
I'm not 100% certain that's what it means, but I suspect it does and play along. It must be something like that Maine "Down East" train or what have you. The locals get it. I don't.
Why don't you contact a matchmaker? If you are a doctor, then you can afford one who can set you up with the correct people.
Seriously, dating really isn't that hard. YOU are making it hard. Good god
You would think dating is fairly straight forward that every guy should have some experience and basic understanding about. But this forum has shown me that there are guys out there of varying ages, even middle aged guys, who don't have a clue, freeze up when it comes to meeting women, or for whatever reason have given up. And these guys have develop total mental barriers for overcoming their issues, almost totally helpless.
I've come to the conclusion that it's like high school, some guys are more popular than others, some guys develop basic dating and social skills, and some guys just keep to themselves and observe others hoping that one day they develop the courage and skills to have a relationship with women... but it just doesn't happen for them for whatever reason. And, sadly, doesn't matter what advice you give them, it ultimately comes down to them taking the initiative to changing their life, or just accepting how things turned for them.
I'm telling you, I'm starting to think this CD forum is almost like lonely hearts hotel for these kind of dudes, especially with it offers online anonymous female advice and interaction free of charge.
You would think dating is fairly straight forward that every guy should have some experience and basic understanding about. But this forum has shown me that there are guys out there of varying ages, even middle aged guys, who don't have a clue, freeze up when it comes to meeting women, or for whatever reason have given up. And these guys have develop total mental barriers for overcoming their issues, almost totally helpless.
I've come to the conclusion that it's like high school, some guys are more popular than others, some guys develop basic dating and social skills, and some guys just keep to themselves and observe others hoping that one day they develop the courage and skills to have a relationship with women... but it just doesn't happen for them for whatever reason. And, sadly, doesn't matter what advice you give them, it ultimately comes down to them taking the initiative to changing their life, or just accepting how things turned for them.
I'm telling you, I'm starting to think this CD forum is almost like lonely hearts hotel for these kind of dudes, especially with it offers online anonymous female advice and interaction free of charge.
Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Heartclubs Citydata band? Let's do it. I can do vocals.
Well, as one of those guys who's trying to break those mental barriers, I can say that upbringing and culture do make a difference. I went to a very international school, we had kids from everywhere, and though we were never like a cliquish American high school, we definitely had groups of people who had very different social lives and scenes. Those of us from an Asian background were mostly focused on our studies, with a few hard partying Korean exceptions. We had alot of pressure from our parents to succeed, especially if we were guys. Our families start saving up and thinking about college even before we are born.
Since my dad was American though my upbringing wasn't so strict as some of my mates, but as an only child it was pretty much all about the piano lessons, the MUN, the resume building, the academics, up until I turned 17, when I started to go out more. At school I was always good friends with all the girls, in fact I was very well liked, but only platonically. Pretty much the only way I got dates was because my female friends would try to set me up with girls from other schools in the Int'l community. There was one time I got approached by someone at a club and that turned into a relationship but that was the only time it ever happened.
What you're taught regarding women too is pretty important. Most of the European guys I hung out with in school were really chummy with their dads, went out for drinks and talked about girls alot (Especially the crazy Swedes. Good lord could they party.). My dad and I never really had that kind of rapport. He was always my role model in terms of intellect and ethics but as a masculine role model I couldn't really look up to him. Mom was always wearing the pants in the household. Their advice to me regarding women basically amounted to focusing on career and school first, be a gentleman, and somehow magically a nice wife would come along. But that's not how the real world works, especially not once you leave Asia and realize American chicks are much less materialistic and status obsessed. At least I'm young though, it would suck to reach my thirties or later and then only wake up to reality.
Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Heartclubs Citydata band? Let's do it. I can do vocals.
Well, as one of those guys who's trying to break those mental barriers, I can say that upbringing and culture do make a difference. I went to a very international school, we had kids from everywhere, and though we were never like a cliquish American high school, we definitely had groups of people who had very different social lives and scenes. Those of us from an Asian background were mostly focused on our studies, with a few hard partying Korean exceptions. We had alot of pressure from our parents to succeed, especially if we were guys. Our families start saving up and thinking about college even before we are born.
Since my dad was American though my upbringing wasn't so strict as some of my mates, but as an only child it was pretty much all about the piano lessons, the MUN, the resume building, the academics, up until I turned 17, when I started to go out more. At school I was always good friends with all the girls, in fact I was very well liked, but only platonically. Pretty much the only way I got dates was because my female friends would try to set me up with girls from other schools in the Int'l community. There was one time I got approached by someone at a club and that turned into a relationship but that was the only time it ever happened.
What you're taught regarding women too is pretty important. Most of the European guys I hung out with in school were really chummy with their dads, went out for drinks and talked about girls alot (Especially the crazy Swedes. Good lord could they party.). My dad and I never really had that kind of rapport. He was always my role model in terms of intellect and ethics but as a masculine role model I couldn't really look up to him. Mom was always wearing the pants in the household. Their advice to me regarding women basically amounted to focusing on career and school first, be a gentleman, and somehow magically a nice wife would come along. But that's not how the real world works, especially not once you leave Asia and realize American chicks are much less materialistic and status obsessed. At least I'm young though, it would suck to reach my thirties or later and then only wake up to reality.
You did a great job of articulating yourself and being objective about your challenges, which is promising if you still desire to improve your odds with women. While I understand the early academic focus and career development, there is a point IMHO where a guy has to ask himself what's the end goal? Too become a solid reliable provider to a wife and family? a man of accomplishment and academic acheivement? or to reach a level where you can enjoy life? Perhaps that even depends on broad and flexible your definition of enjoyment involves too.
But even in Asian cultures, at least Japanese from what I've observed, there has been a slow adaptation of more Western (and perhaps some call it more malterialistic, market driven) social, entertainment, non-traditional norms and values. And even in the US where some kids are driven/directed toward academic achievement, it's not unusally for these individuals to shift gears when they are adults and enjoy the fruits of your labor at some point, which includes having good times and enjoying the company of intimate partners.
As someone in their late 30's who unfortunately (due to work and other factors which I'm sure all of you are sick of hearing about) is inexperienced in dating and relationships, I have found that single people my age without kids are relatively jaded. It probably doesn't help that I live in a major city where the whole mentality is "I'm a go-getter so get out of my way."
Most of the women I have met have wanted only the best and if you're not it, then they have no time for you. Dates have pretty much seemed like competitive tests where they're trying to see whether I can keep up with them. Do my accomplishments, bank account, and experiences exceed their own? If so, then I can have the "privilege" of dating them. This type of person is not someone whom I want to be the mother of my kids. But I guess I have to move to somewhere else to find what I'm looking for. Or maybe that type of person no longer exists in the present day at least in their late 30s after being worn down by relationship difficulties.
Sorry to inform you, men are the exact same way. They're not anymore 'forgiving' or 'lenient' and if you think they are, you are kidding yourself. They want a prepackaged woman who is perfect on all accounts and will go for everything they say and do.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
My parents got married on March 19th 1981. Putting this date on my user name, increase my chance of getting an older man!!! 
