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I'm glad it's working out for you. Both my parents and grandparents prefer to sleep in separate bedrooms. My grandparents never divorced- death was what ended their marriage and I wouldn't say my parents are extremely happy with each other, but they both like their space in the home and have no plans to separate.
Your parents/grandparents are from a different time. They felt/feel a certain moral obligation or societal pressure to stay together even if things weren't necessarily working. Same thing with my parents they have a very dysfunctional relationship but they stay together I think because they are co-dependent and also because they feel compelled to do it.
My mom works 12 hour night shifts. Has for 27 years. Her and my dad rarely ever sleep in the same bed together since their sleeping schedules are completely different, even on days she does not work.
Their marriage is extremely strong and they are giddy anytime they are able to spend time together. I have never once seen them fight or raise their voices at one another. They always have made their relationship a priority over everything else. Their sleeping arrangement works for them and has for a very long time.
I can't say I disagree with the OP, but it certainly does not apply to everyone. Surely he, and everyone else here, knows that we are all individuals, and we all have different needs. What works for one does not always work for others.
For myself, the older I get, the lighter I sleep. I can't sleep touching my BF, (and thank goodness he is exactly the same way). Luckily we are both quiet sleepers, because if one of us snored, you better believe that we would be in separate rooms.
As far as time apart, hell yes I need my own time. I would never be happy if I had to be right with someone, 24x7.
Hey OP, I think you just need to accept that you found something that works for you and your spouse that enables you to have a healthy and loving marriage. Many people would agree with you and would love to find someone that or be in a situation like yours that enables them to be married but also have their space and free time. However, there are many others that feel that sleeping together, being around each other and spending their free time together is a healthy relationship for them. The key to your point really should be that you found someone that is compatiable for you and that is really all that matters
I am shocked how few people acknowledge the need and advantages of giving your spouse space and alone time.
I guess it's not something we think about in my particular case because we struggle to find time to be together. We both work and go to school. We actually cherish the little time we spend together.
I guess it's not something we think about in my particular case because we struggle to find time to be together. We both work and go to school. We actually cherish the little time we spend together.
I work 40 hours a week and drive an hour to and from work. That's my space and time alone.
I have only a 15 minute drive. I want to come home to relax, unwind, chill. Or take off to the mall by myself for a few hours. Or whatever. I need that freedom and space. As someone said, different strokes!
I have only a 15 minute drive. I want to come home to relax, unwind, chill. Or take off to the mall by myself for a few hours. Or whatever. I need that freedom and space. As someone said, different strokes!
Indeed, everyone needs someone different, there is no cookie cutter mold for every relationship. The problems arise when the two of you have very different sets of wants and needs. I think I'm lucky that I have a man who meshes well with me and I with him.
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