Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
He's posted before complaining that his wife smokes weed with her child when he's not around. And made it sound like he had no choice but to stick it out for some reason, without any effort on his part to fix the situation.
No effort huh? Calling the police is no effort? Ok then Dr. Phil what would you suggest?...
I pretty much stay here mostly because I know if I left she would crumble financially etc and I don't know if I could have that on my conscience.
Sounds like the two of you are crumbling anyway.
Maybe being on her own would spur her to responsibility. Maybe she would struggle. Not sure it is should weigh your conscious down too much however. Adults are all free to make their choices and live with the consequences. I am not saying it would be easy either. Just that staying in a toxic situation will poison both of you for other reasons, and taking the financial risks of seperating may be the better option.
Maybe being on her own would spur her to responsibility. Maybe she would struggle. Not sure it is should weigh your conscious down too much however. Adults are all free to make their choices and live with the consequences. I am not saying it would be easy either. Just that staying in a toxic situation will poison both of you for other reasons, and taking the financial risks of seperating may be the better option.
That's what I think,and I think when I left for those brief periods gave her a wakeup call...then again she may just be crazy enough to not care. See she's on SSDI so it would partially be like abandoning a handicap
He's posted before complaining that his wife smokes weed with her child when he's not around. And made it sound like he had no choice but to stick it out for some reason, without any effort on his part to fix the situation. Sounds like he's kicking back and counting on the stars to send some help his way (somehow).
I think he might be a little confused about the meaning of "martyr."
What?! That's a slam dunk in divorce court AND he would get full custody of kids!!!
I was with drug addict for YEARS. I stayed with him because I told myself, he is not going to make it without me. He threatened with suicide and what not if I leave him. I kept finding him unconscious, etc. and thought, thank god he wasn't alone when the stuff was "bad" or "too strong".
When I finally left him, he was super high for 4 weeks and then had a new gf right away. All my worries for nothing. Why did I not leave him sooner?
OP, don't stay in it for the wrong reasons. Give her and yourself the chance for a new start. She doesn't need you and if you really have SUCH a bad conscious, then pay voluntarily more support until she gets on her feet.
Freedom is priceless. Rather be poor as staying with the wrong person.
Is this the definition of "Martyr" you are using? : Martyr
"a person who seeks sympathy or attention by feigning or exaggerating pain, deprivation, etc."
That may be your definition,or the CD definition but no...
"A person of some renown who is devoted to a cause believed to be admirable"...
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.