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I met a guy several months ago and we started dating but it started more as friends - at least that's what I thought. He started to take me out for a dinner, to the cinema, etc.
He's a real gentlemen - he's always coming to pick me up, he's always opening the door for me and letting me go first, he's also opening his car's door for me. He's giving me flowers and similar things.
We're having great conversations and the time we spend together is great but...
...it was like this until recently. So far we were meeting up as friends but recently he took me for a drive outside the city and we had a nice picnic in the countryside. It was a long drive so we spent the whole day together. It was amazing, we were talking about everything and there was a spark between us. He asked me what I want from a relationship and since that day it was obvious that we are a couple.
It felt amazing but... that was ONLY a weak ago! He wanted to meet up next day and while we were talking, I told him that I am excited about my holiday with a couple of friends that is coming soon. Suddenly he stopped talking to me, I was trying to start some topics but he wasn't interested in anything. Later on I figured out that I must have said or done something wrong so asked him - it turned out that he was angry at me that I didn't invite him on that holiday - but I planned it that was long time ago when we weren't even seeing each other!
But we talked about and he said it's OK now. He wanted to meet up next day - it was nice but then he wanted to have sex and I said no - I wanted it to be special for us and wanted to wait until we get to know each other a bit better. He got angry so I said I'd better leave now. He insisted on driving me back home. Next day he texted me that he's not angry anymore.We wanted to meet up again and talk about it - we met and he was sad, didn't want to talk to me. He took me to the cinema instead. I wanted to talk to him on the way but he was upset so I gave up after trying several times.
He wanted to meet up next day but I told him I'm going to the theatre with my friends - which I planned 2 months ago! He said OK but he called me later asking where this theatre was. After the play my friends offered to walked me to the tube station. I was on my way and he called me REALLY upset that he can't find me - I didn't know he would come to pick me up, I told him I'll be with my friends! Anyway, I went back there and he drove me back home. On the way he said he's not angry anymore and gave me flowers he brought earlier.
Next day he wanted to meet up AGAIN! We did but I didn't enjoy it anymore, he was upset with me and that I preferred to spend some time with my friends rather than with him. On Saturday he also came and we went to the park but he didn't say a word to me, was just looking so grumpy. I tried to talk, joke, anything... nothing helped. After some time he said something about spending Sunday together - I reminded him that I already have plans for the evening as I'm going to see the ballet with my girlfriends. He got angry and said that I never told him, which wasn't true! He just drove me back home, after only an hour of being together. I didn't know what to do or say so I just said good bye and went home. About an hour later he texted me asking what I was doing - I replied that I was relaxing. He texted me back: "It's such a lovely weather, just think you could have been enjoying the sun with me now: and a bit later "If you gave me a good reason, I might come to you now". I replied: "You could have been with me right now too but you just drove me back home instead. I'm relaxing now, enjoy your afternoon". He only replied: "Bye".
That was on Saturday. I am shocked because I thought he's an amazing guy and in just a couple of days he turn out to be aggressive, jealous, controlling person! How can one be angry at the other person for going out with some friends on events organized weeks ago when we haven't even been seeing each other? He was calling me everyday just to check what I was doing and who I was with - and all that in just ONE WEEK! I even got scared of him at one point.
It's still so fresh as it was just two days ago but because it's so fresh, I have no perspective on it yet.
I was falling in love with him and he destroyed it with his sick jealousy Not sure what to do now. I wanted to tell him it's over when I see him next time but he stopped calling or texting. I think now that he just dumped me before just like that before we got a chance to see each other again. - and I wanted to be fair and talk to him and tell him why I can't see us together - but he just ended it like this.
I'm so confused now. I know it's for the better but it makes me said.
He met another girl who he probably liked a lot and was interested in, probably didn't cheat ... but after he turned down this girl he started asking himself why he is still with you. Realized he wasn't getting laid on top of that and every little thing you did started to make him a little angrier to have no not feel as bad about breaking up with you. Think of it as him taking his frustration of missing an opportunity with someone else because of you.
It's over, he's looking for new women now and the only way he will come back is if he's out there and gets rejected by other women.
Everything was great until you told him you were going on holiday right? Well maybe he was feeling insecure after finding out and it threw him off. I'm not saying what he did was right at all but maybe he needed some reassurance? It seems like he's finished things with you now if he isn't responding to you so there's nothing you can do but move past it if you can't get to speak with him.
He met another girl who he probably liked a lot and was interested in, probably didn't cheat ... but after he turned down this girl he started asking himself why he is still with you. Realized he wasn't getting laid on top of that and every little thing you did started to make him a little angrier to have no not feel as bad about breaking up with you. Think of it as him taking his frustration of missing an opportunity with someone else because of you.
It's over, he's looking for new women now and the only way he will come back is if he's out there and gets rejected by other women.
He seems moody and you seem a free spirit. He also seems insecure and "pouts" hoping you'll beg and cajole him. You go out with "friends" a lot. Who plans a theater outing two months ahead? How did you even know what would be playing? It seems he had doubt about whether your "friends" were just friends. Did you talk about them, tell him their names, how you knew them? Or were they to him these vague mysterious other people you spend lots of time with? Not defending his moodiness, just trying to explain it. All in all, you two don't sound compatible.
Everything was great until you told him you were going on holiday right? Well maybe he was feeling insecure after finding out and it threw him off. I'm not saying what he did was right at all but maybe he needed some reassurance? It seems like he's finished things with you now if he isn't responding to you so there's nothing you can do but move past it if you can't get to speak with him.
No, I'm not being harsh.. I'm being realistic. Also, if I'm wrong.. the guy is a complete nutcase.
Why is this bothering you? You already had plans to dump him anyway.
People have their own ways of dumping people. Not everyone wants to "talk about it" or explain it to the other, especially in the beginning stages of dating.
Why is this bothering you? You already had plans to dump him anyway.
People have their own ways of dumping people. Not everyone wants to "talk about it" or explain it to the other, especially in the beginning stages of dating.
LOL. Precisely. The guy is a potential abuser methinks. OP should be glad he dumped her.
Thank you all for your answers but I'm afraid none of you got it right. We both have common friends, a lot of them. We go out together all the time, we organize different things for almost every day so whoever is interested can come.
This is how we met. He goes out a lot, I go out a lot. It's not about dating, we are a big group of friends who like to spend actively our free time. We go out to the cinema, theatre, camping, hiking, skydiving, horse riding, partying - there are often new people as friends bring new friends with them.
He knows my friends as most of them are his friends too. And no, I know it's not about him meeting a new girl in a week - actually he's been single for a long time and he just fell in love with me, maybe a bit to much.
I have planned things for few weeks ahead, he has things planned as well. He knew about it before we became a "couple" and I don't see anything wrong with that. But I also don't see why I have to cancel all my plans, especially that I already paid for the tickets, because we are a couple now. That doesn't mean that he's not important for me but at the same time I'm not going to avoid my friends because he wants me only for himself.
I'm not telling him he can't stay in touch with his friends and quit everything for me.
...and he wants to spend every minute of every single day with me. I feel like I can't breath.
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