What is this "relationship" I am in?

[NilaJones]

I don't think there is anything wrong with being friends with ex's, and it doesn't make me feel jealous. Some people are actually honest, and when they say friends they mean friends.

[riverness]

We talked about types of relationships before ever even meeting. I think we were talking about past relationships and whether or not we were into "open" relationships and he said that he didn't like them and I don't either. I'd prefer to just cut it if he's going to lie anyway.

I am most definitely sure she knows about me because she has stopped by his place once before when I was there to drop off some wire racks (didn't come in). I didn't even think about it at the time because I had never seen her before and thought it was a neighbor and I didn't ask. We talked about open/poly relationships before we even met and both said that we were not into that but both agreed that neither should sever ties with friends that are of the opposite sex, but not keep things a secret either i.e. don't spend time with them alone without letting the other know what is going on and talk about it if either is uncomfortable with anyone. Obviously he went back on that one.

Generally though, I feel that if someone continually does the same repeated behavior and doesn't make an effort to fix it when its been voiced that the other person doesn't like it - they don't want to - as much as it hurts to admit that.

Today he asked me to go out to dinner tonight with him and maybe a movie depending on what time he comes out of the woods and said he'd call me and let me know for sure later. Around 730 he called and said he was going to be late and would need a rain check. I figured he would cancel anyway.

My point in thought is - if you want to be with someone - you will find a way. Plain and simple. You will act like it all the time - not just part of the time.

I think as strawberrykiki stated above - there is "too much inconsistency" even though it is a regular pattern of inconsistency and very predictable and even though he treats me good when we are together. I'm not the type of person to run at the immediate sign of a problem - I generally give it a bit to see if it can be worked out or not before I end things. On the other hand, maybe I should be and it would save me time and stress.

[riverness]

Originally Posted by NilaJones

I don't think there is anything wrong with being friends with ex's, and it doesn't make me feel jealous. Some people are actually honest, and when they say friends they mean friends.

Part of me really wants to believe that he is being honest. But if he is then why cancel all our dates that were going to be where she works and the places they used to go together? And why is it a big no-no for me to go out to the woods with him if they are just friends going to the woods?

I have exes and I am very open about it. He has talked to them before even. Its not that he talks to her at all that bothers me - its that its a secret.

[SuperstarK]

Originally Posted by riverness

Thanks everyone. I think I already have come to the conclusion that this is going to end. I just needed some input. After I re-read my post I realize if this were one of my friends saying this to me I'd tell her she was crazy for staying around for it and putting up with the "on again off again, sweet when you want something or get caught" routine. Seems something's not right cause something's not right.

THIS is your answer.
You figured it out yourself.