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That would depend. I've noticed a lot of "self-defense" isn't really self-defense, it's just an excuse to hit someone who has hit you first. If you can walk away, why bother lowering yourself to their behavior.
This. The person doing the retaliatory response in anger probably has issues too. Not someone I would even want to deal with.
I don't think there's any reason to cause physical harm to anyone unless they are coming at you with a weapon with serious intent of causing harm to you. At that point, you do what it takes to not be harmed.
Ive seen women abuse men and do it knowing that the man will not fight back because he was raised that way. My brother married really young and for awhile they lived with my mother while I was in high school. I'd come home to my brother getting hit by his wife and he would try to leave but she would block him in the room and he couldn't escape unless he wanted to jump a few stories down... I remember one day coming home with my boyfriend to there argument and being so pissed of by seeing scratches all over my brother and she was in his face while he tried to leave. I was so embarrassed by her behavior and her cursing and yelling and grabbing at my brother and all in front of company . She went to grab a chair to hit my brother with it when they were in the kitchen my then boyfriend stepped between her and my brother to discourage her from hitting my brother. As he did this my brother escaped the kitchen and head for the door. My SIL ended up hitting my boyfriend and shoved him out of the way, I was enraged and ashamed. I went up to her grabbed her and used my left hook right to her jaw. I way MAD how dare she even think she could abuse my brother and then turn around and abuse my boyfriend ? I handed her a$* to her that day. My boyfriend had to get my hand out of her hair because it kept hitting her face to the table. My SIL learned that day I was no longer going to stand by and allow her crap, she moved out to her parents and eventually they went to a councilor but she was very angry and she grew up in an abusive home so they are no longer married. was it wrong for me to lose control and bet her a$*... Yup it was but I was 16 and he was my boyfriend and he wasn't going to do it and my brother wasn't going to do it so I put her in her place and showed her what it felt like. Lmao I did warn my boyfriend that if I was ever abused by any man that I might be smaller and weaker but that man has to sleep sometime.
the question was about abuse, not physical or verbal defense.
ABUSE:
1. to use wrongly or improperly; misuse: to abuse one's authority. 2. to treat in a harmful, injurious, or offensive way: to abuse a horse; to abuse one's eyesight. 3. to speak insultingly, harshly, and unjustly to or about; revile; malign. 4. to commit sexual assault upon. 5. Obsolete . to deceive or mislead.
does any of these sound healthy?
Last edited by rego00123; 05-02-2013 at 11:03 PM..
We all know a guy hitting his wife/girlfriend (or vice versa) isn't ok. No sane person would argue that it is. However, is it ever understandable? What if the wife/girlfriend is being a complete jerk to the guy and he just can't take it anymore? What if he notices that after violence, the woman doesn't repeat the provoking behavior anymore and seems to have solved it??
After all, not all relationships where there is physical abuse are like in the movies where the woman is a meek, harmless creature and the guy is a barbarian.
Have any of you guys ever hit a woman?
Just to be clear, I'm not a guy who hits his wife. I was just wondering what people's opinions are.
I'll answer your last question first. NO!!! I have NEVER hit a woman. Even if she's beating on me with her fists. If she comes after me with a frying pan, rolling pin, knife, or gun, she may get hit, though that has not happened in this lifetime.
And, when you talk about "provoking behavior", you need to keep in mind the fact that "it takes two to tango". Is her "provoking behavior" a result of something in his behavior? In virtually any relationship, there is a "constant triggering" going on between partners. And, most of it is unconscious. You don't realize you're doing so, but you both are, nearly all the waking hours. An interaction that you don't even think about.
What if he notices that after violence, the woman doesn't repeat the provoking behavior anymore and seems to have solved it??
Then he has lost.
He has destroyed the relationship; whatever love and respect she had for him is gone and will never return. She doesn't repeat her behaviour because he has psychologically damaged her. It will take her years to recover, after she leaves him.
I have an opinion, but due to some very personal circumstances, I am unable to post it publicly. I will clearly state that physical violence is not acceptable.
He has destroyed the relationship; whatever love and respect she had for him is gone and will never return. She doesn't repeat her behaviour because he has psychologically damaged her. It will take her years to recover, after she leaves him.
He has made a fool of himself.
I would think the woman has self-esteem issues to still with him.
Once physical violence is introduced into a relationship, that relationship needs to be over. It is simply too dysfunctional to continue, whatever the reason for the violence.
I was slapped acros the face one time. One time. After I realized what he did, I cold cocked him right in the head with a right hook. He was dazed for a second and then it sunk in. It was never repeated.
Now I own guns
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I was enraged and ashamed. I went up to her grabbed her and used my left hook right to her jaw. 
I way MAD how dare she even think she could abuse my brother and then turn around and abuse my boyfriend ? 
I handed her a$* to her that day. My boyfriend had to get my hand out of her hair because it kept hitting her face to the table. My SIL learned that day I was no longer going to stand by and allow her crap, she moved out to her parents and eventually they went to a councilor but she was very angry and she grew up in an abusive home so they are no longer married. 
