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So my wife and I are watching television last night and she asks me the type of question that I (and perhaps a lot of other guys) dread. The question:
"If you had to choose, would you rather have a woman with a great face and ok body or a woman with a great body and ok face?"
My answer was to refuse to answer, and I could tell that she was not pleased. Initially, I didn't want to answer the question because it seemed to pave the way to a "do these pants make my butt look big?" discussion. Then, I didn't want to answer because I knew I was tired and that the discussion might devolve into something that got me into trouble (lol).
After a night's sleep and a few minutes to really ponder the question, I sent her an email as my official response. The bulk of it is below:
Quote:
Contrived or not, I want to answer your question from last night:
Just speaking to the question at hand, I would choose the woman with a great face and ok body. Why? I think women's bodies are beautiful no matter the shape or size. But the same logic does not apply to a woman's facial features. I'm not talking about stereotypical beauty, either. To me, a woman's smile is not just a function of her lips--it is also the eyes, a slight wrinkle of the nose, arched brows, etc.
Now, to make a stronger point: I didn't have to choose with you. I think you have an amazing beauty that extends from head to toe. I've told you this before, but your smile is what captivated me in your POF pictures. Long before I noticed the infamous "Diet Coke Shirt", I noticed your radiant smile. It's one of the things I look forward to the most after a day at work. It's what I relish when I wake up next to you every morning. Your body absolutely drives me insane, Dim's_Wife. I know I'm a typical guy and appear to be horny all the time, but that is indeed how you make me. This morning, your PJ shirt was unbuttoned about 1/3 of the way down from top-to-bottom. I could see just a hint of your breasts and I couldn't help but sneak-stare.
I love the way my arm slides around your waist at night, or how soft and smooth your skin feels to my fingers. I take pleasure in holding your head in my hands so I can kiss you, or the simple act of a long, lasting embrace. You are the most beautiful creature I have ever seen, babe. Sure, there may be others who have what society considers the ideal measurement but, in total honesty, I don't care as long as I have you to come home to every night.
I love you, honey. I hope you find my "answer" acceptable and that you understand just how much I desire you (in and out of bed).
My question is whether this would qualify as an acceptable answer or an example of why these types of questions are risky at best and should be avoided? I think I tried to answer her question in an honest way but I also wanted to turn a potential negative into a positive. Did I succeed?
You had to send an email to communicate with your wife? I find that very weird. I suppose your answer is good, but since you had to email it I would assume it isn't an honest answer. I would think you needed time to come up with the "right" answer.
. Initially, I didn't want to answer the question because it seemed to pave the way to a "do these pants make my butt look big?" discussion.
Judging by numerous threads here in the past, a big butt is a good thing. Why do women think a big butt is bad, but men think it's good? Why the disconnect?
I have my reasons for sending an email, but I know why you'd think that (hence the reference to "contrived"). I wasn't trying to come up with the "right" answer because I don't know if there is one.
I also think you are WAY overthinking this / too paranoid about secret meanings to questions. But then, I do not know your wife .
If I asked this, it would be out of curiousity about evolution and attraction. I would already assume that of course MY awesomeness trumped any other considerations .
Judging by numerous threads here in the past, a big butt is a good thing. Why do women think a big butt is bad, but men think it's good? Why the disconnect?
A topic for another thread, perhaps.
I dunno either, Ruth. I'd be very interested to get to the "bottom" of it, though.
Quote:
Originally Posted by srjth
No. It's an "unsucceedable" question. You will always fail if you answer honestly, but a laid-back women won't get angry about it.
Personally, I think you should dodge the question and always answer "I want a woman who looks exactly like you".
Nice response. Too bad I was too tired/sleepy/stupid to think of that last night!
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