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Just curious to how has it been for people that was in LTR here, how did they feel about themselves afterwards.
I had many stages, in my recently finished 7 year relationship:
1-Last YEAR AND A HALF of the relationship: my self esteem was super low, i was very depressed due to us not being able to work things out (we lived together), and our intimacy wasnt the best (sex had decreased a lot due to us being in crisis), and life seemed all in all sad. Now, seeing it in retrospective, i realize i might have been depressed for most of this period. I could spend entire weekends without getting out of my joggings, i could go for months without lefting the house, only to go to work, i had no plans, i didnt feel like doing anything, only did work/home home/work, and didnt have energy to anything more. It was just awful and was too sad.
2-Last 4 months after "ending" the relationship: we had at least 4 months in where we were over but kept seeing eachother, you know, for sex and out of routine. Almost every weekend. Intimacy was better now, also, we didnt live together anymore, and sometimes things were even great, but in the end it was too sad, cause we knew it was over and this was just a long, very long, goodbye. So overall it was depressing.
3-The 3 weeks after stopped seeing him altogether: desperation, crying myself to sleep every night. Had, for the first time ever in my life, to try pills (alplax, like prozac or so) cause i was SO depressed. Incredibly sadness, but not the sadness i had in stage 1, this sadness was more intense, almost desperation, almost semeed like i could NEVER felt good again, like my life could be over any minute i wouldnt care. Cried myself to sleep and wake up crying for days non stop. Crying out loud until i had no more tears.
4- A month after i stopped seeing him altogether: I start seeing the upsides of being single. Watch the movie revolutionary road a couple of weeks ago and had an awakening. No, really, had an awakening and realize that he does not have the power anymore, to break or make my day, and thats like an incredible release. And awesome. I start feeling free. Havent had this feeling in, probably, years.
5- Now: Ego boost. People now know you are single and you start getting asked out all over. Men look at you in the streets. Started feeling hotter than EVER. Realize the city is a huge place full of posibilites, not only for lovers, but for friends. New found energy. You start making plans for upcoming months, even trip with friends. You get asked out by a cute guy in your buliding than before, when you were a mess, wouldnt even look at you. HUGE ego boost. You almost think "why didnt i end this sooner?, how could i ve been so sad for SO long?".
Im in stage 5 now, LOVING IT. Wouldt it ever end? I hope not
Do people that had to deal with a LTR that ended experienced some stages similars to mine?? Please share
Shock - did not see this coming...where did it come from? Why the lies/betrayal? (lasted about two weeks)
Panic - where do I go now, where do I live, how do I pick up five years of life and start over and trust people? Lasted until I got my own place, about 3.5 weeks)
Strength - I've got this. (Started as soon as I got out on my own, saw how much support I had from family who came to help from great distance, his family, who couldn't understand what was wrong with him, and friends I never knew I had).
Moving on - Wow, everyone's really NOT like that. (Three months out, when I started meeting really nice guys, and eventually settled on one who's solid and awesome).
It wasn't an LTR, just started out that way. We closed the gap pretty quickly, but it still only lasted five years.
Shock - did not see this coming...where did it come from? Why the lies/betrayal? (lasted about two weeks)
Panic - where do I go now, where do I live, how do I pick up five years of life and start over and trust people? Lasted until I got my own place, about 3.5 weeks)
Strength - I've got this. (Started as soon as I got out on my own, saw how much support I had from family who came to help from great distance, his family, who couldn't understand what was wrong with him, and friends I never knew I had).
Moving on - Wow, everyone's really NOT like that. (Three months out, when I started meeting really nice guys, and eventually settled on one who's solid and awesome).
It wasn't an LTR, just started out that way. We closed the gap pretty quickly, but it still only lasted five years.
Your "moving on" stage sounds like my stage 5.
Did it stayed like that forever in your case? do you always stay in the moving on stage or go back to a more painful stage after a while?? Im afraid ill go back to stages 2 and 3, wich were terrible and painful
6 weeks prior to separation: zero cognizance of anything being amiss. Had a wonderful vacation with my wife – loving, mutually devoted, positively cooing with affection.
5 weeks prior to separation: wife announces that she is fundamentally unhappy and unfulfilled. She wants a child. We argue.
2 weeks prior to separation: wife is aloof and depressed, but I thought that the main argument was shelved, and that we can ride this out, either as a couple of with counseling. Wife appears to agree
Evening that wife moves out: I’m away on business-travel. I receive a phone-call that she rented an apartment, at an address of which she won’t inform me.
2 weeks after separation: we’ve met several times in parking lots and cafes. I’m optimistic that this is all a temporary malady and that we can reconcile.
6 weeks after separation: still meeting sporadically in public places, we make an appointment with a counselor. Wife decides that counseling is pointless. I desperately miss her and appeal for help to my mother-in-law. Mother-in-law says to be patient, that her daughter will eventually come to her senses.
4 months after separation: rift appears to be permanent. Wife announces that upon further reflection, she’s genuinely happier alone than with me. Divorce rumors start flying.
5 months after separation: papers are filed for amicable divorce (or dissolution, as our state calls it). We continue meeting in parking-lots.
9 months after separation: gavel drops in county-court on amicable dissolution of marriage.
15 months after separation: wife isn’t dating and hasn’t made any progress with becoming a mother, which was the ostensible rationale for moving out in the first place. Mother-in-law writes to me, saying that as a resourceful and established man, I should cease pining for my ex-wife, cease living alone and find someone else.
18 months after separation (and thereafter): I did find someone else, but still have ambiguous feelings towards my ex.
When my 8 year relationship ended, it was a little different:
Last month: confusion, desperation, how do I save this, can I give it 6 more months
2 months after breakup - endless crying, no eating, sleeping or focusing on anything else, loss 10 pounds, depression, felt like death, started counseling
3-6 months post-breakup - still mildly depressed but dating other guys but then getting more depressed by how dismal casual dating seemed to be
6-9 months post breakup - still mildly depressed and feeling insecure and vulnerable since every guy I met was horrible for me and no one wanted anything more than very casual
9-12 months post breakup- found out ex got married, more depression!
12-35 months post breakup - REPEAT CYCLE - still mildly depressed but dating other guys but then getting more depressed by how dismal casual dating seemed to be
36 months post breakup - met now husband, happiness ensued
I have experienced stages #1-3, definitely. I don't think I've ever been through stage #4 or #5, as far as I can recall...
ETA: have also experienced Ms. Crabcake's listed stages as well (minus the wedding part so far of course, lol).
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. So overall it was depressing.
. No, really, had an awakening and realize that he does not have the power anymore, to break or make my day, and thats like an incredible release. And awesome. I start feeling free. Havent had this feeling in, probably, years. 
