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Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
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Pretty much, I have not had a good 12 hours.
I came from a church service where at the end, an old classmate from Southern VA proposed to his gf. Then once, I peeled out and got home, I see on my Facebook feed that two of my friends from Kentucky are expecting children. Another couple who I am friends with here in DC, just found out the sex of their kid. Honestly, after taking all this in I am feeling a little depressed.
For the life of me I have no idea why I am feeling so down about those events. I have ZERO desire to conform to the American ideal of family life. Meaning I do not want to get married and I damn sure do not want to have kids. If I had to say what my ideal relationship, it would be a casual or LTR which does not have an mission of ending up at the altar. So I should be totally indifferent to the above news, cannot figure out why I am not.
One possible factor is that I have a lot of trouble just getting a date. I just feel at 24 (and turning 25 in 3 weeks) I should be making more progress socially and especially in the dating arena.
I think that's probably normal. As much as you're denying that you don't want those things, the things you do want does parallel, to a degree anyway, what is happening with the people you know.
I don't want it, but I don't want YOU to have it, either.
We always think the grass is greener.
If you don't mind me saying, 24 is kind of young to decide how the rest of your life will go. You may meet a wonderful person, marry, and have far too many kids with her.
A lot of people find a lot of happiness in the simple stuff, like marriage and babies.
Maybe you do desire marriage and kids ... but you've decided somewhere that rebelling against that desire is "cool" or "hip" and so it's you gritting your teeth and trying like hell to conform to this that's making you miserable.
Ironically, your rebellion has made you a slave to a different "ideal" from that you're rebelling against.
D.C. is a good place for men to find dates, so try harder. ...
Last edited by Davros; 05-19-2013 at 06:30 PM..
Reason: Edited last line ... oops ... you're a guy
I came from a church service where at the end, an old classmate from Southern VA proposed to his gf. Then once, I peeled out and got home, I see on my Facebook feed that two of my friends from Kentucky are expecting children. Another couple who I am friends with here in DC, just found out the sex of their kid. Honestly, after taking all this in I am feeling a little depressed.
For the life of me I have no idea why I am feeling so down about those events. I have ZERO desire to conform to the American ideal of family life. Meaning I do not want to get married and I damn sure do not want to have kids. If I had to say what my ideal relationship, it would be a casual or LTR which does not have an mission of ending up at the altar. So I should be totally indifferent to the above news, cannot figure out why I am not.
One possible factor is that I have a lot of trouble just getting a date. I just feel at 24 (and turning 25 in 3 weeks) I should be making more progress socially and especially in the dating arena.
Anyone care to advise or comment?
It may be your friends are "progressing" in life while you are stagnant and having trouble getting dates. Being kid free means you won't/don't have the standard marker points in life breeders () have.
I came from a church service where at the end, an old classmate from Southern VA proposed to his gf. Then once, I peeled out and got home, I see on my Facebook feed that two of my friends from Kentucky are expecting children. Another couple who I am friends with here in DC, just found out the sex of their kid. Honestly, after taking all this in I am feeling a little depressed.
For the life of me I have no idea why I am feeling so down about those events. I have ZERO desire to conform to the American ideal of family life. Meaning I do not want to get married and I damn sure do not want to have kids. If I had to say what my ideal relationship, it would be a casual or LTR which does not have an mission of ending up at the altar. So I should be totally indifferent to the above news, cannot figure out why I am not.
One possible factor is that I have a lot of trouble just getting a date. I just feel at 24 (and turning 25 in 3 weeks) I should be making more progress socially and especially in the dating arena.
Anyone care to advise or comment?
This (bolded) ^^. You're just lonely and frustrated. But you only recently got out of college. You have a good job and are at the ground floor of a promising career. It's WAY premature for you to be thinking about marriage and kids (if ever, re: kids). You're only at the beginning of your adult life. You need time to build a nest egg and to climb the career ladder. That's your path. Your friends either followed a different path, or got started before you did. All in good time, Diss, all in good time.
Don't compare yourself to others. Only compare yourself to you, and the progress you're making in life. You're definitely making progress. The glass is at least half full, and steadily filling. Have faith in yourself, and patience.
I just had a conversation with someone a few days ago about this. The two of us were chatting about how we don't really feel like 'adults', even though we live on our own, support ourselves, have good jobs and generally just do our own thing. The more we talked about it the more we came to the conclusion that getting married and having children was a big marker in being considered a fully functioning adult in our society. Until then, you're just a 'selfish kid' that wants to do things for themselves. I find nothing wrong with that, especially considering I'm 29, he's 28 and we built a blanket fort in his room and played SNES games until 4am while in it. We may not be the best examples of being adults, really
I've had 7 engagements from friends announced since December of last year, and at least 3 are pregnant. These are ALL people younger than I am, and I'm just floatin along, single as can be. My friend felt the same way, since he had a little 'yearly reunion' with his college buddies a few weeks ago and he's the only single one left in his group.
I never really thought the marriage/children thing would ever happen to me so I think I'm about 50% content with it, but there's still a bit of nagging in the back of my brain saying I should really settle down and start a family. That part is usually drowned out well with a good rye whiskey
I came from a church service where at the end, an old classmate from Southern VA proposed to his gf. Then once, I peeled out and got home, I see on my Facebook feed that two of my friends from Kentucky are expecting children. Another couple who I am friends with here in DC, just found out the sex of their kid. Honestly, after taking all this in I am feeling a little depressed.
For the life of me I have no idea why I am feeling so down about those events. I have ZERO desire to conform to the American ideal of family life. Meaning I do not want to get married and I damn sure do not want to have kids. If I had to say what my ideal relationship, it would be a casual or LTR which does not have an mission of ending up at the altar. So I should be totally indifferent to the above news, cannot figure out why I am not.
One possible factor is that I have a lot of trouble just getting a date. I just feel at 24 (and turning 25 in 3 weeks) I should be making more progress socially and especially in the dating arena.
Anyone care to advise or comment?
You are very Young Dissenter. It will happen. Relax.
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date. I just feel at 24 (and turning 25 in 3 weeks) I should be making more progress socially and especially in the dating arena. 
) have.
