Long Distance Relationship advice (dating, girlfriend, marriage, girl)
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Myself (26) and my girlfriend (24) of about 1 year are both engineers for a large construction company with jobsites/projects all over the country. Her recent project, home office based (where I'm based), had to suddenly destaff and she is being forced to a jobsite outside of Knoxville, TN (or not have a job). The nature of the company is, if you want to advance, put the company before your personal life/family and be willing to go wherever they want to send you. Neither of us want this life.
The two of us are completely committed to each other, and this recent forced move has caused us to talk about our relationship and what we want out of it. We're both on the same page, eventually want marriage, kids, and stability. Neither of us want to work for said company forever because of the lifestyle and constant uncertainty of where you'll be in 6 months. Her jobsite assignment is slated to last through February 2014, but the nature of this company is to never EVER expect to come home when they say you will.
I'm really looking for advice on making an LDR work. I love this girl to death and really want it to last; this is the first relationship I've been in where I see legit marriage potential. The home office is based near Washington, DC. I'm planning on taking the Megabus from DC to Knoxville at least once a month (if not every other weekend) to visit.
If you really love her with all your heart, is there any possibility that you could potentially relocate, so that you could be with her? Does your workplace have any sort of Telework or work-offsite policies, that would allow you to stay with the company, but work off-site from where she is (taking into account the growing expandability and maturity of modern Teleworking technologies?) Or, as a possible last resort, have you considered trying to get another job, that would allow you to be with her geographically?
P.S. I feel your pain, and you have my sincere sympathies (in the near future, I myself will be making a serious, committed effort to geographically relocate, to be with the only one who has my heart).
Last edited by Phoenix2017; 05-16-2013 at 02:05 PM..
Reason: Edits
If you really love her with all your heart, is there any possibility that you could potentially relocate, so that you could be with her? Does your workplace have any sort of Telework or work-offsite policies, that would allow you to stay with the company, but work off-site from where she is (taking into account the growing expandability and maturity of modern Teleworking technologies?) Or, as a possible last resort, have you considered trying to get another job, that would allow you to be with her geographically?
P.S. I feel your pain, and you have my sincere sympathies (in the near future, I myself will be making a serious, committed effort to geographically relocate, to be with the only one who has my heart).
It's possible. I'm currently working with my staffing supervisor to see if I could get put on the same jobsite as her, but I'm not holding out hope that it'll happen. Her assignment is considered "short term" (i.e., she still has an apartment here but the company pays per diem to cover its rent). No telecommuting is possible..this company is very old school.
I wouldn't consider relocating to Knoxville permanently. The job market there is nothing compared to the DC area. Right now it seems as if this is the last assignment she's going to take. Going to save her pennies with her per diem, quit, move back and find a new job. The job relocated her five times last year and she was promised stability in this latest position (which lasted about 8 months before being forced to relocate again).
Long distance is always hard but it has the best chance of succeeding if you have (and stick to) a time frame of how long it's going to last. If there's a set endpoint.
Otherwise, you're spinning your wheels.
It's possible. I'm currently working with my staffing supervisor to see if I could get put on the same jobsite as her, but I'm not holding out hope that it'll happen. Her assignment is considered "short term" (i.e., she still has an apartment here but the company pays per diem to cover its rent). No telecommuting is possible..this company is very old school.
Ah, I am truly very sorry to hear about the lack of Teleworking options that are available for your company's staff...also sorry that the 2 of you are having to go through this kind of heartbreaking issue atm...
One other possible idea: do you think that your supervisor might hopefully be more likely to aprove your request to be placed at the same jobsite of her, if you were engaged to her? (hint hint, lol ) TBH, this is actually the way I was able to obtain tentative future approval for work off-site options, for the one that I love Maybe if you were actually engaged, your supervisor might be more sympathetic and caring to the pain you and your love would face, if you were both apart from each other? (i.e., Do you think it could possibly be a more realistic option, in that case and if engagement and marriage were on the table?)
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I wouldn't consider relocating to Knoxville permanently. The job market there is nothing compared to the DC area. Right now it seems as if this is the last assignment she's going to take. Going to save her pennies with her per diem, quit, move back and find a new job. The job relocated her five times last year and she was promised stability in this latest position (which lasted about 8 months before being forced to relocate again).
If you are both living in D.C. atm, just curious, has she considered applying to work for Uncle Sam at all, instead of staying in her current private sector company? If she wants stability, that could be one way to guarantee her job security, location, and both of you can stay together, and 100% unseparated Do you think she would be willing to consider working for the Feds; have you guys had any discussion about that option at all?
Myself (26) and my girlfriend (24) of about 1 year are both engineers for a large construction company with jobsites/projects all over the country. Her recent project, home office based (where I'm based), had to suddenly destaff and she is being forced to a jobsite outside of Knoxville, TN (or not have a job). The nature of the company is, if you want to advance, put the company before your personal life/family and be willing to go wherever they want to send you. Neither of us want this life.
The two of us are completely committed to each other, and this recent forced move has caused us to talk about our relationship and what we want out of it. We're both on the same page, eventually want marriage, kids, and stability. Neither of us want to work for said company forever because of the lifestyle and constant uncertainty of where you'll be in 6 months. Her jobsite assignment is slated to last through February 2014, but the nature of this company is to never EVER expect to come home when they say you will.
I'm really looking for advice on making an LDR work. I love this girl to death and really want it to last; this is the first relationship I've been in where I see legit marriage potential. The home office is based near Washington, DC. I'm planning on taking the Megabus from DC to Knoxville at least once a month (if not every other weekend) to visit.
Thanks you guys for any input.
If you really want to make it work, you will find a way. I think you two are very lucky to have each other. I've been in a long distance relationship for two years, I admit it is not very easy. But I loved him, so we figured out a way to make it work.
Thank you for the input. I'm confident the two of us will make it work - I needed to vent my frustrations about the situation. The good thing is she we both have three day weekends with our work schedule so we can visit every two weeks for a weekend, which won't be so bad. It was worse when she was in Miami and a plane ride was the only way.
Myself (26) and my girlfriend (24) of about 1 year are both engineers for a large construction company with jobsites/projects all over the country. Her recent project, home office based (where I'm based), had to suddenly destaff and she is being forced to a jobsite outside of Knoxville, TN (or not have a job). The nature of the company is, if you want to advance, put the company before your personal life/family and be willing to go wherever they want to send you. Neither of us want this life.
The two of us are completely committed to each other, and this recent forced move has caused us to talk about our relationship and what we want out of it. We're both on the same page, eventually want marriage, kids, and stability. Neither of us want to work for said company forever because of the lifestyle and constant uncertainty of where you'll be in 6 months. Her jobsite assignment is slated to last through February 2014, but the nature of this company is to never EVER expect to come home when they say you will.
I'm really looking for advice on making an LDR work. I love this girl to death and really want it to last; this is the first relationship I've been in where I see legit marriage potential. The home office is based near Washington, DC. I'm planning on taking the Megabus from DC to Knoxville at least once a month (if not every other weekend) to visit.
Thanks you guys for any input.
My husband and I are apart most of the time because of his work and we each have an iPad that allows us to "see" each other when he is gone. It isn't the same as being together in person but it helps a lot to be able to see as well as talk to each other. He can see the animals and what is going on here and I can see where he is having supper or relaxing or whatever. It is not a life for the faint of heart but if you are absolutely committed it should work out for the best for both of you.
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) TBH, this is actually the way I was able to obtain tentative future approval for work off-site options, for the one that I love 
Maybe if you were actually engaged, your supervisor might be more sympathetic and caring to the pain you and your love would face, if you were both apart from each other? 
(i.e., Do you think it could possibly be a more realistic option, in that case and if engagement and marriage were on the table?)
