Would you care if a room in your house was consistently a mess? (date, married)
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(I know, I know first world problems, but bare with me.)
If you're married or in a LTR and living together, do/did one or both of you have a room or space that is yours alone? My husband has a lot of junk, that I don't want laying around the house, so he has most of the basement jokingly called his "man cave". Has his guitars, office, camera equipment etc... I sahm, so I tidy the house, but I don't tidy down there. It's not a shared space. I'm not responsible for it and unless he has something he specifically wants to show me, I give him privacy.
We had a play date today and the visiting friend seemed to think that I should force the issue and make him tidy it up. The cleaning lady comes in bi-weekly and she makes an attempt at his godawful mess after everything else is done, but really, I'm content to leave him to his mess. I didn't think it was an issue. He's a grown man he can tidy or not tidy his room.
Is there something wrong with personal spaces? Should I care about the mess? Me and the kids aren't living in it so I figured it doesn't matter. Would you care if a room in your house was consistently a mess? Everything has a place down there. He just doesn't put them away.
I think you are doing the right thing by letting him have his personal space. If you force the issue, like your friend advises, you might wind up having a strain in your relationship.
What's it to the visiting friend how your house is kept? Yeesh.
As long as the rest of the house is neat, I think everyone can stand to have their own space to keep as they wish. My dad sounds like your hubby. He had a workbench that overflowed onto counters and into cupboards over the years, my mother hated it, but it was still only one corner of the basement in a room that wasn't used for company. The rest of the house was spotless.
Since SO and I are buying a house this year, we're both purging our homes so as not to carry too much useless stuff into the new place, but we're still going to need a catch-all area in our home for stuff that doesn't quite have a place but we can't bear to part with. I thought every home had something like that.
(I know, I know first world problems, but bare with me.)
If you're married or in a LTR and living together, do/did one or both of you have a room or space that is yours alone? My husband has a lot of junk, that I don't want laying around the house, so he has most of the basement jokingly called his "man cave". Has his guitars, office, camera equipment etc... I sahm, so I tidy the house, but I don't tidy down there. It's not a shared space. I'm not responsible for it and unless he has something he specifically wants to show me, I give him privacy.
We had a play date today and the visiting friend seemed to think that I should force the issue and make him tidy it up. The cleaning lady comes in bi-weekly and she makes an attempt at his godawful mess after everything else is done, but really, I'm content to leave him to his mess. I didn't think it was an issue. He's a grown man he can tidy or not tidy his room.
Is there something wrong with personal spaces? Should I care about the mess? Me and the kids aren't living in it so I figured it doesn't matter. Would you care if a room in your house was consistently a mess? Everything has a place down there. He just doesn't put them away.
Out of sight, out of mind. I'd leave it alone because it wouldn't be worth the battle to me.
A spouse or partner having their own space they may keep however they wish (within the bounds of it being sanitary), which doesn't infringe upon anybody else's living space, sounds like an ideal setup. People who have that kind of space, where one partner can have their little retreat and the other can have theirs, are fortunate.
If I shared a house with a woman I can agree the rest of the house could be kept to her standards within reasonable limits,
but if it's big enough to give both me and her a room each for recreational purposes and she'd start messing with how untidy it is I would freaken flip.
A cleaning-free zone should be every mans right lol...
do some wood-crafting, metalworking etc maybe brew booze, mead, beer, love it!
I don't think a man is anymore entitled to a space to keep as he sees fit than a woman is. It's ideal if each can have a little bit of their own space, I think. Mine would be more office than man-cave, but I would want to keep it as I like it, and I would want it to be MY space.
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