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..Many women cant cook...and don't want to learn how. I am a good cook and enjoy it but it would be nice if she would help out.
.. too much war paint (make-up) up and over-doused in perfume.
..grossly overweight and doing nothing to try and lose it.
...telling us what clothes to wear
..fake boobs. I'd rather have a flat chested gal that some bimbo with fake balloon boobs.
..gals wearing those goofy padded bras and foam inserts. Please do not do this to us men. It's a bit deceptive and I want to know whats really there.
..way too talkative. I like to have a REAL conversation, not just sit there and nod my head and say uh-huh
...dressing way too slutty or being the "party girl."
...flirting with other men (with out without me being present) It's just plain rude.
..dedicated 24/7 to their children (even when there are fully grown) The constant texting, phone calls and other stuff ..and it seems they never have or want to make time for intimacy. Guys need it and they'll look elsewhere if it ain't happening in a relationship. Even if two people are married there is no reason to stop dating and having time alone (movie, dinner, bedroom privacy, etc)
...wanting to run and control the finances. Sorry I am a big boy and I can mange my money just fine.
I don't need a mother or a control freak, I need a friend and a lover.
Most women (single and married women) who live in or near military towns know that there are thousands, upon thousands, upon thousands of single/available military men living and/or working on a military base; however, there are rarely (and I mean rarely) enough single/available women for these men to date .
So, it’s a supply and demand issue in most (but not all) military towns, and the women living in or near the military towns know this. Most (but not all) of these women try to use – or abuse, depending on how you look at it – the supply/demand issue to their advantage.
In other words, the women’s attitudes are pretty much: We have more “leverage” than you (men) because we have more options (men to choose from) than you (available women to choose from). Some men begrudgingly go along with it while others prefer to take the road less traveled - long distance relationships.
I find that people who have a problem with "all women in their city", are typically the problem and not all the people who live in that city.
Seriously? All women in DC are bad? I spent time in DC and met a ton of very nice, friendly and outgoing people. I think it's ridiculous to blame a city.
I've been here for over 15+ years -- from my own personal experiences with D.C. women both during college and in the professional working world, I would say that 24 (perhaps 23, or maybe even when they graduate college perhaps) is a tipping point for certain D.C. women, in terms of how nice or friendly they are overall, to a potential male romantic interest. Even if they don't want to date a guy up until when they are 23-24, they're usually not going to be outright mean, cruel, dismissive, ignoring, or "treating a guy as if he doesn't exist and doesn't matter as a human being", in their rejections or body language, in turning him down for a date.
However, once some of them actually start working professionally for a few years, that can sometimes change. They can sometimes become rather abrasive, acerbical, and just not nice in how they turn a guy down, or especially in displaying strongly negative body language -- the implication is ultimately that the guy is simply "not good enough for them", and that as a guy, you don't matter, because there will always only be someone better, "down the road", for them. At a minimum, a huge defensive shield definitely goes up, and so the young working D.C. woman who was kinder, warmer, and just nicer, when she was say 20-23, and even when turning you down, can suddenly sometimes become very cold-hearted, aloof, and even dismissive (or worse). Here in D.C., what really matters to a lot of people is raw power and influence, and if professional D.C. women find you to be lacking in that as a guy (according to their own arbitrary standards), it's game over for winning their hearts and romantic affection.
Others may have had different, or better experiences, so YMMV (your mileage may vary). In my case, I have only relayed what I have found in my own personal experience with the great majority of local D.C. women that I have encountered and tried to ask out. But I no longer date locally, and will only now date women who are non-local to D.C.
Last edited by Phoenix2017; 06-13-2013 at 07:48 PM..
Reason: Adds / Edits
A lot of men in our culture seem to be terrified of approaching women, talking to women. I've seen some of those attractive, smart women from LA on talk shows, saying they go years without a guy even talking to them socially, let alone asking them on a date. They say their friends try to encourage guys at parties to talk to them, but the guys say the women are "out of their league".
And then SoCal men go online and complain about LA women being too superficial, with too high expectations. Go figure.
None of these women I speak of are superficial. I don't live in LA anyway (SoCal is a big place).
These women I know are spiritual, do humanitarian work, and are very kind. Of course, you would not know this if you never talk to them...
They all say men don't approach them. Men don't pursue them. They don't initiate conversations.
I really don't think it's just intimidation. There's some reason men don't take a chance with these attractive women, yet they do with others, the ones who turn out to have poor characters.
This is a conclusion I am coming to - most men really don't initiate. They wait for the woman to send a signal, but unwittingly they don't realize that in waiting to be picked they have just dwindled their options considerably. Perhaps these women subtly initiate because they feel they MUST, which may be an indicator that they know they have some major drawbacks (overweight, kids, debt, etc) or that they have a big ego (they can get any guy they want, etc).
*I don't mean to characterize all women who initiate as desperate or egotistical, but I'm making a generalization to make a point. Waiting to be picked when expected to initiate will dwindle your options...
Quote:
Originally Posted by soletaire
What I mean by that is that even as men have preferences, they (all of them) will settle for a less than ideal woman,
Who are these guys? I see few settling, much less initiating a relationship to begin with....
Quote:
however a woman will die alone before she detaches her self from her "deal breakers" (Ive talked to women like this)...
Does not align with my observations. I am a woman who talks to other women candidly and many have dated outside of their "type" & compromised things they never thought they'd compromise. Why? The guy pursued her. He made her feel valuable. But he also did so without compromising his own value. He didn't become a doormat, which is a turn-off to either gender (men don't like "clingy" women either).
What you say here doesn't align with your later stated idea that women pick losers... is that their ideal?
Or do you mean they have too high standards in the wrong areas & too low in the right areas?
I see that complaint lodged at men also (too high standards for a woman's appearance, but don't appreciate good personality qualities).
Quote:
This initiative has been conditioned into men from birth, and is expected by women. Its not natural though, but it might as well be, because it is all men know, and any man who doesnt conform to this gender role, doesnt get a seat at the table so to speak AND is shunned for being an over 40 bachelor whether he admits it or not.. And because men who dont have children or relationships with women arent allowed to empower and bolster their single/unmarried status by labeling themselves as "independent" or "career oriented".
Come on... being a "confirmed bachelor" is greatly admired or given a roll of the eyes at worst. There are no negative terms I can think of for an unmarried, older man.
Unmarried older women aren't seen as "career oriented", but old maids, spinsters, hags, etc. The "career" slant was invented to soften that opinion.
Men rarely initiate either. See my above comments on that....
Quote:
Now this worked well, until the point that not only did women become exceedingly picky about the men whom they would accept, they started PICKING (socially) unacceptable men altogether to mate with.
What about these possibilities:
- Are men mainly approaching women who will reject them or have poor characters, thus slanting their view of what is really "out there"? Perhaps this is some sub-conscious self-esteem issue? Perhaps these women are better at drawing attention to themselves (bigger egos)? Perhaps these women being much "easier" to approach is a red flag?
- Are men not really initiating at all, but instead waiting for a woman to send them a signal, thus not seeing the many women who don't initiate, & again, slanting their view of what is out there?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Walter002
Single woman says.......
∙ "I can't find a good man!
∙ See that guy over there, he's ugly
∙ See that guy over there, he has a beer belly
∙ See that guy over there, he's bald
∙ See that guy over there, he lives at home with his mother
∙ See that guy over there, he only has a Bachelor's Degree
∙ See that guy over there, ewww, he's driving a 2000 corolla
∙ See that guy over there, he's only 5'6
∙ See that guy over there, he's 6'3 but has a small penis
∙ See that guy over there, his shoes are horrible
∙ See that guy over there, he's too skinny
∙ See that guy over there, yuck, he likes video games
∙ See that guy over there, he has a mole
∙ See that guy over there, he has gray hair
∙ See that guy over there, he's behind on his mortgage payments
∙ See that guy over there, he likes heavy metal, yuck!
∙ See that guy over there, he has acne
∙ See that guy over there, he dresses too well, he must be gay
∙ See that guy over there, eww he just got off of a bus
∙ See that guy over there, he isn't a real man"
Lol. The majority of women are single because they'll find every reason to turn down a guy. Thank god I have a girlfriend. Dating out there is brutal for the single man.
"See that guy over there? He won't approach me!"
How can women turn down your list of guys if those guys never make a move?
What other cities have you lived in? I'm now on my fourth city. Each time I moved, I thought things would be different. And while some cities are more favorable as far as dating is concerned, ultimately what I learned is that the biggest factor in whether I'm successful in dating is me. It's easy to say the women in a given city are too this or too that. On to a certain extent it's true. But when I read your posts about the women in DC, I can't help but think the problem lies with you. If every woman I pursued rejected me, I wouldn't conclude that there's something wrong with my city. Instead, I'd look in the mirror. Am I approaching these women wrong? Am I doing or saying something that's turning them off? Am I simply chasing after the wrong women?
Now you talk about women in DC are abrasive and only want men with money and power. Well keep in mind that DC is a town people move to help their careers and it's a very competitive environment. I used to live in Chicago and felt the women there were much like the ones you described in DC. But it made perfect sense why so many women I was meeting in Chicago were like that. It's an expensive city where most of your income goes to housing. You don't get much for your money. The traffic is awful. And for at least 4 months, the weather is horrible. Given all that, I can see why a lot of women might not be in best of moods. That's no excuse to treat someone poorly. But it certainly explains a lot of what you're seeing in DC.
But I still go back to my original point. No matter what the women are like in your city (too materialistic, too religious, too conservative, too liberal, etc.), you have to make the most of what's there. Moving from city to city hasn't improved my dating life a whole lot. That tells me the problem isn't really my city. Something for you to keep in mind when you complain about the women in DC. Do you really think your dating life would be all that different in another city?
Most women (single and married women) who live in or near military towns know that there are thousands, upon thousands, upon thousands of single/available military men living and/or working on a military base; however, there are rarely (and I mean rarely) enough single/available women for these men to date .
So, it’s a supply and demand issue in most (but not all) military towns, and the women living in or near the military towns know this. Most (but not all) of these women try to use – or abuse, depending on how you look at it – the supply/demand issue to their advantage.
In other words, the women’s attitudes are pretty much: We have more “leverage” than you (men) because we have more options (men to choose from) than you (available women to choose from). Some men begrudgingly go along with it while others prefer to take the road less traveled - long distance relationships.
My mother complained about "military wives" when she was a military wife. LOL! But he main complaint was women cheating. She'd make friends on new bases and they'd go out for a few drinks when they got a babysitter together. But she'd quickly found she didn't want to be friend's with them because they'd go home with men they picked up at the bar on a girl's night out. The first time this happened, my mother and two of the other women lost their ride home. That's a big problem. Obviously, it's not all the military wives, but enough that my mother stopped living on base and took the more expensive prospect just to avoid these women.
I am about to turn 43 and consider myself to be in decent shape for my age and have no drama in my life and if I was looking for a woman now I would probably have a hard time finding one because of how I am. I would not expect any woman to put up with me. But as far as dealbreakers I would say that some physical traits would be a dealbreakers like excessive weight, ridiculously short hair, too many tattoes especially offensive ones, being taller than me and that is easy because I'm only 5'4" , . Of course most of those physical dealbreakers are changeable, other dealbreakers could be attitude and mentality related. Then there is the kid issue, I have nothing agaist kids, but raising somebody else's kids is not something I would want to do. What can I say I'm a man, a lot of us not all in this gender are not highly evolved.
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