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So i met with my ex earlier today.
I was going in with the impression that i would spill all my emotions on the table at some point
and apoligize and ask for her back and if she didn't take me back or atleast agree to take steps to build
towards a new relationship i would walk and never talk to her again.
Welp that didn't happen, but i'm way more pleased with what did.
So i got to the coffee shop a little earlier, she arrived not to long after.
When she first walked in my heart was beating 1000's harder than a humans should.
I was so nervous. Luckily she said she had to go to the restroom real quick so before we even said hi or hugged
she ran into the bathroom.
Instantly i had an ephipany , my hole attitude changed. I realized that if i really want her back
i have to build something completely new with her. I can't keep dweling on the past and apologizing.
I had to move forward and show her i've changed. Which i have tremendously.
So when she came out i gave her a light hug.
We sat down and immediately she said ok so " What did you want to tell me".
My stomatch dropped and i started mumbling a little(when i do this she loses respect for me)
She then said "Don't beat around the bush just say it"
At that point i could tell she was expecting me to get all emotional and beg for her back.
Sooo. I didn't
I switched gears. I sat up striaght relaxed my anxious self ,Embodied a sense of confidence and looked her dead in the eye.
Alot has been going on with my life. Like ALOT. i'm am way more successful than i was when i was with her.
Opportunities have been coming left and right. Basically i'm having the time of my life.
So i told her what was going on. About me getting signed to a major record Label & all of the fun things i've been doing.
I didn't try to boast or make myself seem better than her i was just honest about what was going on in my life.
I was Very Humble and slightly Vague
You should of seen the look in her eyes when i was telling her these things.
She seemed so amazed and curious .
And there i was just non chalantly sitting with my new haircut, new clothes, well fit body.
God i know she felt something !
Because her attitude towards me changed.
She started being .....................NICE
Laughing at all my jokes, seeming verY interested, initiating conversation topics.(Things she NEVER did, She used to be soo cold)
We really connected it was so great.
When i asked what was going on with her she replied with the same ol same ol.
How work sucks. Her friends suck. Her basketball career is on holt because of her torn acl.
She hinted that she had noone really there for her.
She also hinted that she wanted to see this movie but had noone to go with and was going to go even if she went alone.
(I think that means isnt seeing anyone or to get me to ask if we could go together)
I cut the meeting sort because i had to go. She seemed dissapointed.
So i walked her to her car. We talked a little longer. I asked a few more questions about
what was going on with her and that was it. Gave her a light hug and left.
She said "It was good seeing you" With a big smile.
I think i made a great impression on her.
No i know i did. At first i didn't know what it took to
get my ex to notice me in a positive light again but now i do & i know exactly what to do to get her back.
I am not asking for advice on what i did because it already happened and i'm pleased so thats all that matters.
I just really wanted to vent
You did good, OP! High 5! You came across like the winner, the really together one, and she may have realized she's a bit of a loser; she only had negative stuff to report.
So, if I understand what I just read you have figured out how to get her back however, she did not start being "nice" to you until AFTER you told her about all of your current success?
Do you really think that statement made by you about her attitude is not a red flag? It appears blatantly obvious to me that she would have been "nice" to you BEFORE you told her about all your current success IF she really has true feelings for you.
So, if I understand what I just read you have figured out how to get her back however, she did not start being "nice" to you until AFTER you told her about all of your current success?
Do you really think that statement made by you about her attitude is not a red flag? It appears blatantly obvious to me that she would have been "nice" to you BEFORE you told her about all your current success IF she really has true feelings for you.
Not advice, just an observation.
My apologies i wasn't very specific on that matter.
We just recently got back in contact.
After i did no contact for A month and a half.
When i contacted her again she seemed alot more open to
talking to me even happy. So she WAS being nice to me before this meeting
The reason i point out that her attitude changed is because i
didn't have my life together when i was with her.
I was immature and kind of lazy. So i don't blame her
for loosing a little respect for me when we were together.
I mean c'mon what women would respect that ?
But i turned my life around. And when i told her
i could see in her eyes that my respect meter went up
1000 more notches . Feels good
You did good, OP! High 5! You came across like the winner, the really together one, and she may have realized she's a bit of a loser; she only had negative stuff to report.
My apologies i wasn't very specific on that matter.
We just recently got back in contact.
After i did no contact for A month and a half.
When i contacted her again she seemed alot more open to
talking to me even happy. So she WAS being nice to me before this meeting
The reason i point out that her attitude changed is because i
didn't have my life together when i was with her.
I was immature and kind of lazy. So i don't blame her
for loosing a little respect for me when we were together.
I mean c'mon what women would respect that ?
But i turned my life around. And when i told her
i could see in her eyes that my respect meter went up
1000 more notches . Feels good
So you are saying in 45 days you have completely turned your life around, gone from immature to mature and changed your personality and attitude.
Wow. Pretty impressive. I wonder if she will buy it.
So you are saying in 45 days you have completely turned your life around, gone from immature to mature and changed your personality and attitude.
Wow. Pretty impressive. I wonder if she will buy it.
Lol Hell No.
I'm not perfect in the least.
But i have done Alot of growth and transforming.
And i still am.
I wasn't that bad and my issues werent that
hard to fix to begin with.
I just wasn't motivated to make changes.
And it kind of just happened.
One opportunity came my way which
made me get my life together
I don't know i guess i realized
my ex was the best thing i had in my life at the time
and well since she was no longer there i had nothing
So i was forced to find happiness with in myself.
& it's too geniune for her not to believe.
Today prooved that.
Confidence is key, be the person people want to be with..not the one who has to beg to get them.
However...
Did you say you turned your life around in a month and a half (the no contact period)? That's not a lot of time at all..
Did you truly learn to be confident in yourself, or did a few nice things happen to you, and you're simply "high" on the feeling of it?
There's a huge difference between them....
Thank You ! Well to get even more specific.
We had been broken up for 5 months.
All the while yes i wasnt doing the best things to win her over
but i was getting my life together during the process.
I was just a little to pushy.
Then i incorporated NC
So it's been a total of six months that i've had to work on myself.
If you are moving forward, why do you want your old girlfriend back? That seems counterintuitive.
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You came across like the winner, the really together one, and she may have realized she's a bit of a loser; she only had negative stuff to report. 