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I read a book that complains that there are not any "good men" left anymore for these women that devoted their energies to their careers, instead of finding a partner. Perhaps the problem is setting their sights far too high?
The way I see it, a mature woman (or man) at any age is going to know that there is no such thing as "perfect," only "perfect for me." Same goes for worrying about what other people think. Far too many people listen to their buddies without considering that a character flaw that drives one person batty might not irritate someone else at all.
If more people realized this stuff, there wouldn't be such a thing as "settling."
I read a book that complains that there are not any "good men" left anymore for these women that devoted their energies to their careers, instead of finding a partner. Perhaps the problem is setting their sights far too high?
The "no good men" syndrome is women pricing themselves out of the market in two ways:
A) They spend their youth "having fun" and focusing on career. By the time they're looking to settle down they've squandered their sexual market value from being the proverbial village bicycle. No many wants that unless he's looking for a quick lay. Forr having kids men want women who are as chaste as possible. Virgins would be the ideal because they have no other frame of reference and lack a desire to seek out something better. In other words, the sluttier a woman was in her youth, the less trustworthy she'll be perceived when it comes to paternity and her ability to stick by a man. And it turns out our instincts are right--studies have found solid link between women who had a plethora of sexual partners in their youth, and marital dissatisfaction.
Men are waking up these days to how slutty women have become. If it wasn't for loose moral standards and easy access to vaginas this whole hookup culture wouldn't exist as widely as it does today.
B) Women are innately hypergamous. The higher up the food chain a woman goes, the fewer men there are above her to marry up to. Women marrying down is about as common as older women settling down with much younger men. It does happen, albeit rarely. And this aspect is going to get worse before it gets better as fewer and fewer men even find parity with women. For every 100 men that get a college degree at 22, 185 women do the same. Women are outstripping men in college educations big time and the job markets will soon reflect that. What highly successful women are facing today the average college graduates will be facing tomorrow in this regard.
More and more people ARE single and over 40 and there is nothing wrong with having that option.
I know 3 guys age 43-44 who are single (one is gay for sure). I have a female friend 41 who is not married, and another 42, and another 43 also all unmarried. (one of these females is 'rumored to be gay' I don't know..).
These are all normal, happy people who have full lives--just no partner.
They have degrees, jobs and are not 'wackos' or 'losers.'
Out of our old college group, only 4 of us are married. (2 of the men, 2 of the ladies). I married at 26, my male friend #1 married at age 27, the other 2 were 29 when they got married.
That's it.
I bet 20 or 30 years ago the percentage married would have been higher. I guess either more people are 'gay and open' or opting out of getting married.
My sister in law is happily single. She's 41 years old and very nice, very kind, not weird, not unattractive.
I'm glad more people 'are opting out' instead of 'just marrying' to 'be like everyone else.'
But--what makes a man of a lower social standing, income, or education level not "good"? That is the question they need to ask. What's wrong with starting a relationship with a guy because he's a decent guy?
But--what makes a man of a lower social standing, income, or education level not "good"? That is the question they need to ask. What's wrong with starting a relationship with a guy because he's a decent guy?
It's because (and I am reaching here) a lot of relationships where the woman has more education or a better job do not work out. Men feel threatened and it causes problems. So, yes, a woman doctor marrying a male video clerk might happen but it is not common.
And a lot of men like to "take care" of a woman--provide for her. If she is independent and can take care of herself on her own, what is his perceived value in a relationship with her?
It's because (and I am reaching here) a lot of relationships where the woman has more education or a better job do not work out. Men feel threatened and it causes problems. So, yes, a woman doctor marrying a male video clerk might happen but it is not common.
I wouldn't go so far to place blame on either gender. It's more to do with basic human nature. Men and women are different and what triggers desire is not the same in the genders. Give this a read. It's a great insight on the topic of hypergamy which a lot of people probably haven't even heard of before.
And a lot of men like to "take care" of a woman--provide for her. If she is independent and can take care of herself on her own, what is his perceived value in a relationship with her?
He's cheaper than batteries.
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