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So, what's up with guys? It seems there are no guys that want to date seriously. They only seem to want to hook up, or do the mininum effort necessary to go out on one date. They don't even want to pay for the entire date anymore. Always seem tp want to split the bill. They call you a few times, you have a couple nice dates then never hear from them again.
Also, there is no chivalry. Men no longer buy flowers, or show effort or that they even want to date. It seems they just want to hook up. Also, I got approached by a married, 60+ year old man who goes to the restuarant I frequent asking if I want to be his "friend". So, my question is: what is it about me, having a cocktail, dressed nicely, keeping to myself says to you I am interested in some kind of affair?? ,sex now isn't worth the 30 mins so. Not worth the clean up.
Also, what's in it for me? the guy gets to have the pleasure and what do I get?? Is the guy going to date me? Is he going to buy me something? take me out? take me on a trip? No, just a lousy, lazy guy who's a bad kisser and awful in bed. But even if he was good in bed, who cares? it won't lead to anything anyway. And I'm not looking for guys who just want a good time.
Just my thoughts!!
Women freak out and get scared off from too much interest too soon. Bringing flowers within the first free dates is considered too much.
Most women usually only get their interest triggered when men back off just slightly in their level of interest.
If it's so hard for men to attract women, why do divorced men generally remarry or at least get a gf, pretty quickly after breaking up, while women tend to stay single? Men seem to have an easier time of moving on to the next prospect.
Absolutely untrue in my case! I loved my now ex-wife. I think those men you speak of were maybe cheaters and had already checked out of the marriage. That wasn't me, I was committed. She checked out. Its 4 years later and yes, I've dated, but nowhere near marriage and the dating has been rare. But hey, maybe I'm different than most guys because I'm loyal and don't get over something like a divorce easily. If it were up to me, I'd still be married. I hate this life I have now without her.
The last date I went out on, the woman asked me why we were out "What is this?". I responded "What do you mean "What is this?"". She responded "Is this a date or are we just hanging out?". I'm thinking 'I asked her out, picked a nice place to go too, picked her up and we are know sitting at a nice place having dinner'. I responded "You have to ask? Of course this is date. She smiled and seemed to like my answer, but it made me think why is she asking this in the first place?
Lots of guys call it "hanging out" to avoid implications it could lead to a committed relationship. They just woo until they get sex & then bail.
Not saying it's happened to me (it hasn't), but the experiences are out there. When it's defined as a date though, then implications for getting to know someone for a potential relationship are there.
Another way of viewing her question is, "What are your intentions?".
When women do not require a great deal of effort from men, men do not generally feel the need to put forth the effort.
Women have made everything so easy for men that many men see not need to be gentlemen. Heck, men don't even have to ask women out any more or pay for dates.
Thank you and
Quote:
Originally Posted by The Dissenter
Gender roles done evolved. Get with it or get lost.
Ya'll wanted equal pay, equal treatment, and respect. Now that a lot of you have this, it is time for equality to permeate every aspect of life, dating included. We want some effort out of ya'll too.
Thank you.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Prince_Frog
Boy I'd like to know what planet this is so I can move there. LOL
Seriously. It's refreshing to see a woman on here with rational, unbiased though.
Okay, now I can't wait to read through the rest of this thread to see the usual suspects putting their priceless .02 in.
Edit: Yeeeup, they never disappoint.
Anyways, this topic makes me gassy.
Women want equal pay and control over their bodies (which they obviously should anyways), yet they still expect a man to foot the bill and even go so far as to open a car door for them. I open the door for people because it's respectful and rude to not do otherwise, not because you have a different set of genitals than I do.
What if the woman initiates the date, rather it be online or IRL? Picks the place ? Should the guy still be required to pick her up, open her door and pay for the meal, just because he's a guy ? Some would argue, yes, they should. On what basis ? Because how it used to be ?
And yeah, of course some guys expect sex after a few dates, even after one, because of how they've unfortnuately been trained these days....and there's no one to blame but women. My friend went on a Grouper date two weeks ago and both him and another guy on a date hooked up with two of the three women on the date. Never mind the fact that the first round of drinks are paid for by Grouper Social Club, but the guys didn't have to buy them drinks or dinner to get laid. These are professional, succcessful women, in their mid 20's, before any of the usual suspects try to come in here and claim these women have low self-esteem or daddy issues. No, they just like nookie. Go figure.
We don't even have to talk about the women that'll throw themselves at someone just because they're a basketball player, frat boy or rapper. Or women who will use men to get back at their S/O or ex. Just consider women who are just attracted to the person they're with/see at dinner, the club, bar, house party, etc, and they go home with them, under the influence of alcohol or not.
How can women be mad at men for this behavior when they are the enablers ? Not all women are enablers, but enough are that it can plague most women when it comes to dating. So before you complain about anything I posted being unfair, consider the fact that the dating world is skewed in your favor.
And if it isn't, then that sounds like a personal problem to me.
Equality doesn't to the dating world for the most part, but it sure as hell does in mine.
Actually, I disagree... men hold the exact same power. Can't force a man to be in a relationship either. Can't force a man to be with a woman after she 'puts out', can't force a man to be with a woman he doesn't find attractive or force him to give her a real chance.
I mean, as a woman who has wanted a relationship with many men who have all turned her down, I know both sexes hold just about equal power in that respect.
ETA: Actually, in retrospect you're also assuming that all men want relationships, when in my experience most men just want to sleep around or hook up with as many women as possible...so really, the MEN are the gatekeepers for relationships if you really think about it.
Ok, I can see it that way, Jet. I will add though, women are the Gatekeeper of other things. I'm referring mostly to sex, of course.
A women can always say "yes or no" to sex but i believe guys hold the go/no-go for an actual relationship.
i.e., Men say "would you like to go out/have dinner sometime/be in a relationship?" Women either say "Yes" or "No" (but much more often -- as in exactly 97%+ of the time -- it has been a "No", in my own personal experience, and in my attempts at being able to successfully get into a relationship. Of the many, many women I was ever romantically interested in, throughout my life, only 2-3 said "Yes", to a relationship with me). Hence, women being the "gatekeepers".
One can not "keep" the gate if no one approaches it.
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,sex now isn't worth the 30 mins so. Not worth the clean up.
