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I was hurt when my ex cheated on me but really stupid when I decided to forgive and take the snivelling b*****d back and surprise surprise he cheated again! it took me a LONG time to trust again but I have been with my now BF for a little over ten years and am quite happy that I eventually did accept that all men aren't lying cheating scumbags.
Raw shrimp in strategic places in his closet and around his abode, too. It goes back to the joke about shrimp in the curtain rods. A friend of mine actually did this when she knew she was about to get laid off after 17 years on the job. She put them in the plants all around her boss's office. She called it Project Prawn.
The one person I know who cheated on me refused to return my stuff. He was a Marine. I wrote a nice letter to his XO. His XO liked me. His XO called me. His XO was not happy. I got my stuff back. Lt. Cheater got to go chip rust in a tin can in the middle of the Pacific ocean for six months on a tour he absolutely did not want, where, and I quote the XO, "he'll have plenty of time to think about his behavior." Thank you, sail through, don't trip over the Equator!
This coming month marks my 1 year post-being cheated on.
She was my only friend, and I was very surprised after 10 years of being together/married. Also that I just moved 1,200 miles away from my family to be with her, and just bought a house together.
I cried, felt betrayed and alone, and began to see her completely different.
I didn't have family to confide in or retreat to, so it was just me.
Emotionally it hurt, but logically I knew I would be alright. I'm only 27, and knew there would be another person/marriage/kids in my future - I just always assumed it would be with her. That's the part that hurt and that I spent most time on.
She got with another guy, became pregnant. I didn't talk with her for about 6 months. But I knew ignoring the feelings/person isn't being healed, and that it's better to come to terms with it.
So we started talking, I saw her pregnant (and cried the first few times), and eventually it just connected - she was starting a family with someone else. Her and I would not be parents together, or share any of those experiences. And most importantly - I was free to find someone else and reshape my life how I wanted.
So that's where I am now.
She's deserving of a happy life, and I have no ill-will towards her.
Anger and dwelling on things is a choice, and not one I'm going to chose.
This coming month marks my 1 year post-being cheated on.
She was my only friend, and I was very surprised after 10 years of being together/married. Also that I just moved 1,200 miles away from my family to be with her, and just bought a house together.
I cried, felt betrayed and alone, and began to see her completely different.
I didn't have family to confide in or retreat to, so it was just me.
Emotionally it hurt, but logically I knew I would be alright. I'm only 27, and knew there would be another person/marriage/kids in my future - I just always assumed it would be with her. That's the part that hurt and that I spent most time on.
She got with another guy, became pregnant. I didn't talk with her for about 6 months. But I knew ignoring the feelings/person isn't being healed, and that it's better to come to terms with it.
So we started talking, I saw her pregnant (and cried the first few times), and eventually it just connected - she was starting a family with someone else. Her and I would not be parents together, or share any of those experiences. And most importantly - I was free to find someone else and reshape my life how I wanted.
So that's where I am now.
She's deserving of a happy life, and I have no ill-will towards her.
Anger and dwelling on things is a choice, and not one I'm going to chose.
I remember your posts as you were going through it, and if memory serves correct, it was pretty traumatic. I'm glad you've found some healing. It really sounds like you've made peace with it, and are taking the wiser, healthier, more mature path. Best of luck to you in reshaping your life!
If they meant something to you, you will undoubtedly hurt for a bit. But then you move on, and don't look back. And you remember what you learned in that relationship and use it to better yourself.
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But seriously...
