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At first, all I want to do is stab them in the neck with a knife.
Of course I'd never actually do it, but thinking about it through out the day for about a week or so pretty much conveys my anger towards a ***** who cheats on me.
I don't ever think about them after I "get over" the relationship.
I'd say that the cheater doesn't actually "feel bad" about it, and doesn't actually care about you, because if they did they wouldn't hurt you in the way that they are doing it.
I felt/feel betrayed by one of the very few people I trusted, along with extremely disappointed, and hurt to the soul.
I personally couldn't just snap out of it, because he has meant so much to me for so long. I still think of him, because so many random things (green candles, squirrels, the song Chasing Cars when my manager plays it) remind me of him.
I don't feel anything when I see pictures of him, because the pictures are put away, I don't listen to music, I don't watch the movies we used to watch, and I don't go to the restaurants we used to go to.
He may feel bad, but I really wouldn't know. If he said that he felt bad, I would have to try to figure out if that was his authentic self talking (like the old days) or his new "Playa"/deceptive self talking. There may be a day when I will know. Or not.
I have never been cheated on nor have cheated on anyone, but having known several people who've gone through it, it seems like a deeply scarring event, emotionally speaking. I wouldn't wish it on anyone. I hope that somehow you can heal and move onto a happier place.
You put your heart out there for somebody. You THOUGHT you knew who they were, but in reality they were nothing more than a fraud.
Do you simply snap your fingers or move on? Or does a piece of it stay in the back of your mind?
Do you find yourself thinking about that other person at a random time of the day? Do you feel anything when you see pictures of that person?
Do you ever think they feel bad for what they did? Do they even think of us? Are they sorry in the back of their minds? Do they regret it?
If it were only so easy to snap your fingers and move on! Well, it all comes down to what you do in the time after this happens. Happened to me twice and the last time I am still so hurt over though it was a year and a half ago. I forget that this happened 20 years ago. 20 years is a long time. I got over it then because I was young and had a lot going on, college, a job, friends etc. Now life is different. No school though it is a good idea to focus on learning something you always wanted to learn, to go to the gym and to spend time with your family or friends. I lived with my family then.
Now what's funny is I think of azzhole #1 often, even after 20 years. It is not hurtful because I have had many opportunities to let him down in all this time, he has tried on a few occasions to start something up again and I turn him down hard each time. Not on purpose or to be spiteful, but because I didn't realize I kind of hated him. Really, I am the nicest person you'd never guess I'd treat someone like that and he is the only one I ever did that to. A woman scorned and all.
Azzhole #2 nearly killed me. If you don't remember your lessons you are doomed to repeat them. That actually is a good point here though the question wasn't asked. Figure out how you can spot azzholes so you don't go through this again. I can spot them a mile a way now. It's like a superpower lol
Azzhole #2 apologized to me recently. I decided to give him a chance to show me he was sorry. He showed me in fact he was not. No, he did not truly feel bad for what he did. He must have been lonely and drunk that night. Yes, they think of us. He will not regret it until he is again reminded what a rough road he will have with women because he is self centered. They don't regret a thing until they feel their own pain.
I forgave azzhole #1 this year (dating others is very healing, I never even knew I had anger towards him. Still want nothing to do with him and I'm sure he had regrets- but that is because of how HIS life turned out. You can only go on screwing people over so long before that sh*t gets old.) I actually forgive azzhole #2 before I got the apology but he seems to have some anger at me and I think that's just his way of justifying his azzhole behavior.
Man these azzholes are confusing. Don't try to figure it out. You will just waste time and go in circles. Some people have more problems than you can wrap your mind around.
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