Why don't single parents date other single parents? (romantic, problems, relations)
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Willing means one has settled. When one settles it's because they feel they can get no better.
Really? So if a white person says they're willing to date people of other races, does that mean they're settling? If a white girl starts dating a black guy, does that mean she couldn't do "better"? Your problem is you're ranking the childless person above the person who has children and assuming everyone ranks people the same way you do. But they don't. I give less weight to whether someone has kids than you do, not because I'm desperate, but simply because them having kids doesn't bother me as much as it does you whereas I'd probably assign more weight to religion than a lot of other people do. Does that make those other people desperate compared to me because they're willing to date outside of their religion and I'm not? No. It just means religious differences aren't that a big deal to them.
Really? So if a white person says they're willing to date people of other races, does that mean they're settling? If a white girl starts dating a black guy, does that mean she couldn't do "better"? Your problem is you're ranking the childless person above the person who has children and assuming everyone ranks people the same way you do. But they don't. I give less weight to whether someone has kids than you do, not because I'm desperate, but simply because them having kids doesn't bother me as much as it does you whereas I'd probably assign more weight to religion than a lot of other people do. Does that make those other people desperate compared to me because they're willing to date outside of their religion and I'm not? No. It just means religious differences aren't that a big deal to them.
Very well stated.
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Really? So if a white person says they're willing to date people of other races, does that mean they're settling? If a white girl starts dating a black guy, does that mean she couldn't do "better"? Your problem is you're ranking the childless person above the person who has children and assuming everyone ranks people the same way you do. But they don't. I give less weight to whether someone has kids than you do, not because I'm desperate, but simply because them having kids doesn't bother me as much as it does you whereas I'd probably assign more weight to religion than a lot of other people do. Does that make those other people desperate compared to me because they're willing to date outside of their religion and I'm not? No. It just means religious differences aren't that a big deal to them.
But having kids or not is different and different lifestyle versus race. Having kids is adding more to a relationship than being black is.
But having kids or not is different and different lifestyle versus race. Having kids is adding more to a relationship than being black is.
That's YOUR opinion. But I'm sure there's someone out there who would say the exact same thing with respect to race. They could say that dating someone of another race adds too many issues and makes things more complicated. Are they right? Again, this all depends on whether you think those issues are a big deal. You clearly feel that kids and the complications that come with kids are more than you're willing to put up with. But someone else may not seem them as a big deal. Likewise, I date women of other races because I'm not bothered by the extra set of issues that come with being in an interracial relationship. But someone else might have a huge problem with it, especially if there's a culture clash or they worry about having biracial kids.
well, I have been posting and reading here in this forum for 3 years. I've dated two single dads in the past and have gone from no problem to a lot of doubts.
I was young and thought i could handle everything. I couldn't. I had so much troubles bonding with other people's kids and I couldn't lie to him or me, or the kids. I had three baby nephews, and soon I would have another one. I like boys and I get along with little boys because I was so used to them. I didn't know how to handle girls, seems to have a lot of natural drama.
I loved all my exes' kids, but I just couldn't see myself being long term in such a relationship. I was in my early 20s, and was never married, so there was always some sort of resentment when it came to dealing with other people's kids. Just couldn't lie to myself anymore.
I am now with a man with no kids and thinking about making babies for the first time with a man who has not been there and done that is something very beautiful to me. we are going to have the first experience together and this is important to me.
This being said, my sister on the other hand, have two kids from previous marriage. She only dates single dads now because according to her, only single dads understand what she is going through. Thinking about somebody out there mistreating my nephews just kill me, but I can only hope that the single dads can put themselves in my sister's shoes and treat my nephews as their own.
Dating single parents is not for everybody. Seriously, for some of you out there who are dating the single parents, if you are able to balance your relationship with the kids, and you can honestly say that you treat the kids well and give them some love. You will have all my respect because it is not easy.
Last edited by lilyflower3191981; 09-14-2015 at 09:09 AM..
I tend to see the opposite among the 40something childless women. They'll date men with kids, but reluctantly. A lot of it will depend on how old the children are and the relationship the man has with the ex. Whlle none of these women outright hated kids, I never got the impression they wanted to be a stepmom. For the most part, their preference was for childless men or men whose children weren't really in the picture. But most of these women are realistic too. They know that the majority of single 40something men probably have kids from a previous marriage.
Maybe this depends on the area where you live.
In my area, OC, California. There are a lot of childless men in their late 30 or early 40s who are successful and good looking. They never have any problems finding women of any age to date. Some have no problems dating single moms, but these single moms are normally very attractive and financially independent themselves. I doubt these men really want to be step dads, I also don't believe these women really want another dad for their children. So the type of relationship seems working out for both parties.
They live in separate houses, have separate lives, They get together several times a week, they travel together, etc. People seem to be very happy in this type of no pressure situation.
I have no issues dating a guy w/ full grown adult kids who are self sufficient & living in their own places.
I would never waste my time w/ a guy who's got adult kids still mooching off of him living at home.....
And I also won't ever compromise & be w/ someone who's got young kids or even teens....
I wouldn't mind dating another single parent but the majority of men that I date are childless. It isn't intentional but the men that approach me are often childless. None of them are bothered by the fact I have son. In fact a lot of the men I date come from single parent household themselves or have relatives that are single parents so they don't really trip. I don't talk about my son with these men though or introduce him-and I've found that this actually tends to make the men act strange. Like they want me to. Not sure why this is but I believe from other single parents i know that sometimes we(single parents) introduce our children to the people we date early into the relationship or might find ourselves mentioning our kids a lot to dates so men who've dated single parents or know others that have might expect other single moms to do the same. However I'm really good at separating my son from a relationship. I would only introduce a man to my son if we were together for a significant amount of time and I saw a future with him.
I would almost prefer a man with a child because I feel like we would get each other more and could even do play dates lol. But I don't know if i would be as interested in dating a single parent with more than 1 child.
I'm sure that many do, but I have noticed that quite a few single parents - not all - get offended when childless people refuse to date them. I know a couple of single mothers/fathers who won't date other single parents and they get hurt when they approach childless people for dates and the childless people reject them.
Don't hate.
When I was single with no kids. I wouldn't date men with kids. Bad experiences when I did. Too much baggage, oh and then the exwife.
I found a single man who had learned the same lessons I did. He had no kids and didn't want them. Been with women that had kids, kids were spoiled and out of control. And mother would make excuses for the behavior. Why deal with that when you don't have to?
We are very happy and no dealing with someone ex's. Nieces and nephews are our pride and joy!
Make the best of life, there's a lid for every pot. Why get mad cause of someone's elses choice, they have a right to live their life as they see fit. Just like you do.
I know plenty of young widows who don't want to date period. They have money and want to keep life that way. So they aren't robbing the pot of date-able men.
In a dream world they would date each other and leave people without kids alone.
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