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I wanted to share this and I think I know why many women are struggling with their man not committing to them and complained about being strung along. It has gotten so common and has happened with some of my female friends who are in their mid 20's and would love to find a serious, commitment type guy that wants a family.
I don't know what to think anymore but 2 of my relationships ended because it was really the man that wanted to move things to a faster pace and I wasn't no where near that stage or simply wasn't looking for that level of commitment. Both of them got hurt and took them a while to get over me (though one of them hasn't completely).
ex bf 1 (Joseph) was already saying I love you on the first month and by the 4th month asking me to move in with him. I broke it off and he still wanted to keep me as a friend. I was ok with that until I was told he got very drunk one day and called out my name. Then right after him comes ex bf 2 (Lucas) who also seemed to be going on a faster pace. He dropped the L letter on the 2nd month and I didn't get to that point until month 5th. It didn't stop there. I received a call from my sister informing me she has seen Lucas alone at a jewelry store, which was kind strange because he doesn't like jewels. A couple days afterward is when I realize what he felt. He straight forward asked if I saw him more than a just a bf and then added Just wanted to know if you feel the same way. To be honest, that caught me off guard. I didn't know what to answer but tell him the truth that I didn't feel that way yet. This was only on the 13th month of our relationship. He wanted nothing to do with me afterward and though I heard from other he's finally dating another girl, according to others he still at times thinks about me and the life he would have if I had said yes to his question.
So I don't know if it's just me they see something they don't see in other women,something I'm doing wrong or as someone wanting what they can't have. Do they actually commit when we aren't even thinking about that type of commit, never ask him or mention to them about it or just seem unavailable to them?
I'm starting to feel that the more you're looking for something, the more difficult it is to find it. However, when you're not even looking for it then it suddenly finds you but you don't want it.
For some people, it's all about the chase and the conquest....not really love. A better question would be, would they have felt the same if you were as eager as they were? Maybe, maybe not.
Besides, aren't we always told, you'll find it when you're not looking? I guess though, we always assume that also means we want it regardless if we weren't looking.
Those dudes be crazy. However, I do think alot of people fall head over heels without realizing it can completely ruin things. Its real obvious when someone is like that. I've been on both sides. When I was head over heels, I knew I need to chill out and let things happen.
I don't consider 13 months that short of a period of time. At that point I think I'd know if I didn't want to have anything to do with some one, wanted to eventually marry them or I guess maybe just wanted to keep sleeping with them until I got sick of it. I'm not saying I'd expect to marry them the next day or something, but I would have a final destination already clear in my mind.
I don't consider 13 months that short of a period of time. At that point I think I'd know if I didn't want to have anything to do with some one, wanted to eventually marry them or I guess maybe just wanted to keep sleeping with them until I got sick of it. I'm not saying I'd expect to marry them the next day or something, but I would have a final destination already clear in my mind.
Shortly after Lucas left me, I really thought I would help him by writing in his hotmail and try to make him understand that we can still be friends but it got him irritated and he replied back with this message: You clearly don't understand what I'm feeling right now. I was going to ask you to be my wife the next day. That was the point of my question. I wouldn't ask for nothing. I don't want to be your friend. I want to get over you.
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