Sexless relationship with no desire to fix it… what’s making me stay? (wife, married)
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I have been with my fella for nearly a decade. We get along great and love each other very much, however we have never had much of a sex life.
I am a very sexual person but he almost tries to make me feel ashamed about it rather than encourage me. He will make remarks if I'm wearing something that he thinks is too revealing and makes fun of my tummy, which is a little flabby.
I enjoy being with him but I miss sex and have no desire for it with him. He doesn't make me feel wanted physically in any way. I am not attracted to him. I am not sure I ever have been. I enjoy companionship and I have a tendancy to be dependant on others for my happiness. I know how unfair that is on all parties.
That's not to say I haven't tried - the last time I tried to kiss him passionately he pulled away and laughed like I was being silly.
He is my best friend and I'm scared to lose him, but I can't go on like this. Every year I promise myself THIS will be THE YEAR I end it, but it never happens. My 20’s are already gone and I am 31 now. I don’t want to wake up at 50 one day and realise I’ve wasted my life on a passionless relationship.
How do you deal with that for a decade, I don't like going more than a few days without sex when my girl friend is out of town and neither does she. I have to wonder how much you really like sex if your willing to deal with this for 10 years. Maybe your sex drive is not as high as you think it is you are just really hungry.
I don't beg for it I tell my girl friend we are having it, she likes when I take control. I am ok with plans getting changed and canceled etc as long as we squeeze in regular sex, sometimes all we have is an hour or 2 to strip down and do it and go back to our other engagements.
Sheesh, I'd be begging you for it anytime you wanted.
I think many guys would too.
It seems as though you are a mismatch couple.
I'd never make remarks about my gals body like that.
I'm not so great anymore either...you know?
Some men are azzhats!
There is over 17 years age difference between us. Sometimes I feel like he says those things because he is insecure and because he wants
to make me have no confidence...
There is over 17 years age difference between us. Sometimes I feel like he says those things because he is insecure and because he wants
to make me have no confidence...
I'm sorry honey.
I'd make you feel like a million dollars everyday.
You're playing with the wrong man.........
Us other guys would find the time to take care of BOTH of our needs.
I have been with my fella for nearly a decade. We get along great and love each other very much, however we have never had much of a sex life.
I am a very sexual person but he almost tries to make me feel ashamed about it rather than encourage me. He will make remarks if I'm wearing something that he thinks is too revealing and makes fun of my tummy, which is a little flabby.
I enjoy being with him but I miss sex and have no desire for it with him. He doesn't make me feel wanted physically in any way. I am not attracted to him. I am not sure I ever have been. I enjoy companionship and I have a tendancy to be dependant on others for my happiness. I know how unfair that is on all parties.
That's not to say I haven't tried - the last time I tried to kiss him passionately he pulled away and laughed like I was being silly.
He is my best friend and I'm scared to lose him, but I can't go on like this. Every year I promise myself THIS will be THE YEAR I end it, but it never happens. My 20’s are already gone and I am 31 now. I don’t want to wake up at 50 one day and realise I’ve wasted my life on a passionless relationship.
Please help.
You have 3 options
1) get rid of your flabby tummy and see if he will see you in a different light
2) lay all of your cards on the table and tell him how you feel when he ignores your affection and sexual desires
3) find a new compatitable companion (get a divorce before doing so)
GOOD LUCK
I can relate....as a man who has a very very low sex drive..... I am married as well. Now....I assume you are married -- I couldnt tell. Now was he always this way....meaning little to no sex drive. I checked on myself and I do have some medical issues as well as other issues that for whatever reason give me a very low or no sex drive. I have been married for 10 years myself. If he has always had a low sex drive for all his life, then could be medical. If this is something more recent or just since you have been married, it again may be medical. I have very low T count, and that is one reason for my issues.
My wife and I have had tough times over this issue.....due to me....and we work through it because of the kids.
My guess is that you stay because of your own insecurity and his money.
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