What is sexual compatibility, for you? (married, man, spouse, average)
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Does it have to do with experience? Openmindedness? Shared ideas of what sex means in a relationship? Empathy and generosity in bed?
Or is it more about how someone smells, how slow or quickly they like things to go, how noisy or quiet they are, how silly they are, how physically flexible?
Can someone become more compatible with you if they work on it? Or are the things you need innate? Some of each?
Yes to all of the above, and enthusiasm, chemistry, smell, etc. as others have said.
In addition, I'd add:
- parts fit and work
- style is compatible: e.g., give and take, or dom/sub, etc.
- mutually acceptable kinks and fetishes, if any: e.g., BDSM, feet, etc.
The MOST important additional item is matched libidos - how frequently you both want sex. So many relationships have a constant struggle and ongoing frustration and unhappiness because one is happy with twice a month and the other wants daily. Usually it's the lower drive spouse who sets the limits, leaving the higher drive unhappy. It can undermine a relationship and even destroy it, so this may be more important than everything else. It can change over time with hormones and life situations, but if you start mismatched, it usually only gets worse.
Does it have to do with experience? Openmindedness? Shared ideas of what sex means in a relationship? Empathy and generosity in bed?
Or is it more about how someone smells, how slow or quickly they like things to go, how noisy or quiet they are, how silly they are, how physically flexible?
Can someone become more compatible with you if they work on it? Or are the things you need innate? Some of each?
Can you figure out if someone is compatible with you before you get into bed? How do you do that?
I know we can keep this PG-13 if we try .
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Edited to add: I am NOT asking about what you find attractive. I am asking, when you are crazy attracted to someone and after you get them into bed, what kind of things, if they are missing, disappoint you or make sex not very worthwhile for you?
Me and a girl had trouble kissing each other once, her mouth was so much smaller than mine, i had to have mine half-closed... there was also a tendency for our teeth to meet, which was kinda wierd...
Otherwise she was a sweet girl and all that, just very incompatible... basically what we both wanted to do wasn't as good as we were wanting it to be...nothing wrong with her or me, but just couldn't make it work... no matter what we did we were clumsy together, not because she or I was clumsy, but just... bad lol.
Me and a girl had trouble kissing each other once, her mouth was so much smaller than mine, i had to have mine half-closed... there was also a tendency for our teeth to meet, which was kinda wierd...
Otherwise she was a sweet girl and all that, just very incompatible... basically what we both wanted to do wasn't as good as we were wanting it to be...nothing wrong with her or me, but just couldn't make it work... no matter what we did we were clumsy together, not because she or I was clumsy, but just... bad lol.
Yeah, I know exactly what you mean!
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