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Yes to all of the above, and enthusiasm, chemistry, smell, etc. as others have said.
In addition, I'd add:
- parts fit and work
- style is compatible: e.g., give and take, or dom/sub, etc.
- mutually acceptable kinks and fetishes, if any: e.g., BDSM, feet, etc.
The MOST important additional item is matched libidos - how frequently you both want sex. So many relationships have a constant struggle and ongoing frustration and unhappiness because one is happy with twice a month and the other wants daily. Usually it's the lower drive spouse who sets the limits, leaving the higher drive unhappy. It can undermine a relationship and even destroy it, so this may be more important than everything else. It can change over time with hormones and life situations, but if you start mismatched, it usually only gets worse.
I couldn't agree more on the matched libidos being the most important thing. I can't being to describe the frustration of being married to a man with no sex drive (of course in my case it ended up because he was gay... but still, the frustration was... well, frustrating!) I need to find a man with a drive as high as mine (I sometimes think mine might be above average). But honestly, I would settle for a little less as long as it was at least a few times a week.
Does it have to do with experience? Openmindedness? Shared ideas of what sex means in a relationship? Empathy and generosity in bed?
Or is it more about how someone smells, how slow or quickly they like things to go, how noisy or quiet they are, how silly they are, how physically flexible?
Can someone become more compatible with you if they work on it? Or are the things you need innate? Some of each?
Can you figure out if someone is compatible with you before you get into bed? How do you do that?
I know we can keep this PG-13 if we try .
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Edited to add: I am NOT asking about what you find attractive. I am asking, when you are crazy attracted to someone and after you get them into bed, what kind of things, if they are missing, disappoint you or make sex not very worthwhile for you?
^^ What do you mean by "dry". As in like, boring saltine cracker dry? Or physically dry? Because that's not her fault. Sometimes its just like that, no matter how into it they want to be. Spoils it for both parties.
I think you explained it, just clearing it up for my own understanding.
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